Dehradun Full Plate

Take the Journey

2010-12-14T16:42:00.001+05:30

As I look around me, I find that children are just used to getting their own way around parents, they are obstinate and disobedient, as parents look on helplessly, and the worst is that parents are often heard saying that “today's children, this whole generation is like this, what can we do?” Being a mother of three young children, I often come across parents with children of my childrens' ages. And everyone seems to suffer from a common malaise – helplessness. Starting from waking up with great difficulty in the morning, getting late for school, skipping breakfast often, demanding for money to take to school for a mid-day snack with friends, the struggle to study or do homework after school, sitting in front of the TV all evening and till late at night instead of playing outside, deciding what to wear, what to buy, when to go shopping and for what, everything is now being decided by children! I get to hear this nearly every day that children as young as two years old are dictating terms to their parents! Children a little older are, for example, even deciding which car to buy as the current car is too small or too embarassing to be seen in, being rude and forceful even with their demands!

“Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn't have anything to do with it.” - Haim Ginott

Parents pass it off as “today's generation”, letting their children get the better of them. It is upsetting to watch that today's generation of parents have readily accepted the role of being 'puppets' in the hands of their children! Two thoughts come to mind – either we are too unsure of ourselves in our parental roles, finding ourselves incapable or under-capable of being the 'right' parents, or we are just deluding ourselves that by letting the children have their own way, we are giving them 'freedom' and 'space' to grow. Most parents use the mask of 'being good friends' to their children to cover their own unwillingness or inability! Our children are going to have many friends throughout their lives, but only one set of parents. And our primary role is that of a parent and teacher to them. Of course, we need to teach them everything through love, compassion ,understanding and example, and we have to be 'friendly' in our approach instead of being ogres, but let us not only be 'friends'! They will learn math or spelling from their teachers, and the 'ways of the world' from their friends, but the values and principles to base their lives on, they will imbibe from us. Let us then draw the lines, whether we want to be just 'good friends' or 'good parents'! Remember, we are the ones responsible for whatever the next generation does.

'Spare the rod and spoil the child' is an oft-quoted Proverb from the Bible, in the context of bringing up children. The 'rod' necessarily does not mean hitting the child or using physical force to make them listen to us. It means using discipline in every area of the child's upbringing, and even though it may turn a little harsh sometimes, better a little harshness now than a lifetime of unlearned lessons and maladjustments later. We are in this role for a specific reason, to bring up our children to be well-balanced, self-reliant, responsible individuals. We are not here to earn 'brownie' points and only be 'best buddies'! If you exert discipline, your children will often turn around and give examples of their friends' parents who are 'not like you'! But I always tell my children that firstly, I don't want to be like anyone else, secondly, I'm their parent, not their friends' parent, thirdly, I take the job God has given me as a parent and teacher very seriously, fourthly, they should take their duties as children seriously as well, and lastly, I'm not going to do anything that they 'like', when I know it is bad for them! So let me warn you, you are bound to be against the tide if you do these things.

So 'Take the Journey'. The journey to reclaim you role your role as a parent and teacher to your children. It will answer questions like why we must keep our word, why example is a powerful teacher, why honesty with ourselves is critical, and why we must think everything through. I have often candidly used examples from my own personal family history. You have your own family history, and your values have been shaped by that history. Refer to it often, and it will help you determine what you want to keep and what you want to eliminate in terms of worthwhile values for your children. The danger here is that a lot of people just blindly believe that no matter what their parents did is the last word in good parenting. That may not always be true, they had their limitations as well. We do not disrespect our parents if we choose not to take up some of their values of parenting. We can be as loving and respectful towards them as always.

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

Sundays ... Yeh Kaisa Kulture hai?

2010-12-07T14:19:00.000+05:30

Mrs. Joseph is a close and dear neighbor of mine. We live in the same lane, greet each other often and also share a few likes - strong coffee, upright people, chocolate cakes (of them I get a liberal share at Christmas!) and cleanliness. Though her family moved in almost ten years ago, and I always greeted her whenever I met her, I really got to know her around this Dussehra -Diwali only.

I was back from my Sunday biking trip around 5 in the evening. And I found Mrs. Joseph surrounded by a few other neighbors from our lane. As I went near to enquire, the first words that entered my ears were those of Mrs. Joseph, “Yeh kaisa Kulture hai?”

The monsoon had just ended and festivals were coming near. And so, the perfectly fine roads of our lane were getting ‘made’ again, courtesy the local administration. All went fine, and the road ‘miraculously’ was ready in just 2 days. It seemed like the agency, the contractor and the department had landed from another planet, knows for its punctuality. We were all very impressed, including Mrs. Joseph.

That Sunday was exactly a fortnight after the road had been ‘made’. And I found Mrs. Joseph pointing to everybody the young, little, light green plants that had grown from under the newly ‘made’ road in just 15 days. Those plants were real tough, having sprouted out of a thick layer of dense tar and gravel. Or was it thick enough?

Mrs. Joseph was asking,
“Yeh kaisa culture hai? Pehle achhi - khaasi road ko dubara bana do! Phir banao bhi aisa, ki 15 din mein paudhe ug aaye!”

We all nodded in agreement. This led to our meeting the local ward member to protest. Which led to him calling the Engineer in charge in front of us. Which led to a series of promises, that were never kept. Which finally led to everybody living on and forgetting the issue. Except, of course Mrs. Joseph.

Then, there was another time, quite recently that I found myself listening to Mrs. Joseph in rapt attention. Soon after the road was made, entered another set of guys, very hard-working and committed; committed enough to ‘make’ new drains in the lane that was newly ‘made’. Ofcourse, Mrs. Joseph was furious. Out she came, and summoned the contractor, “Yeh kya hai bhai, abhi to road bani hai, pehle naali kyon nahi banayi! Yeh kaisa culture hai tum logo ke kaam karne ka?”

This led to the neighbors getting together once again. The ward member came, inspected the work and listened to us - Mrs. Joseph actually, smiled and said “ye to saare shehar mein ban rahi hain”. The moment he said he realised he shouldn’t have. Mrs. Joseph retorted instantly, “yeh kaisa culture hai pata nahi aap logon ka, pehle achhi road ko dubara bana diya, ab theek - thak naaliyan tudwa ke dubara bana dee. Bas logo ka paisa barbaad ho raha hai. Kya isliye ham tax dete hain?”

I am sure he had no answer to that. Neither do I. Do you?

After all, “Ye shehar kiska hai?’

Him Ahuja is an avid traveler and runs a travel blog named http://allhimalaya.com

The name is Baand, Zames Baand!

2010-12-07T14:08:00.002+05:30

How to test if an Indian man lies…Ask him this question: “Have you ever imagined yourself to be ‘James Bond’?”…if he says no, the man is a first class liar.

Mr. Ian Fleming (I’m sure) had no idea while creating ‘Commander Sir James Bond’ of the British Secret Intelligence Service ; commonly known as MI6, that the character would become one of the most admired ‘heroes’ of yesteryears.

A good Bond film meant Sean Connery, great looking women, a lot of love making, sinister looking villans, a pridictable plot, licence to kill, ‘hero always wins’, ‘Bond saves the world yet again’, vodka martini (shaken not stirred), Aston Martin cars,and no commitment to any of the women metioned earlier…what a LIFE ! Every man I know has fantasised about living like Bond at one point in life, and why not? Bond stood for all the fun a man can have without the added responsibilities of living in a ‘real world’.

The ‘real world’ meant, going to office, having a wife (that didn’t look like a bond girl), raising children, paying their fees, being stopped by the police at 10PM at Ghanta Ghar and having to reply; “I live in Chakku Mohalla; Sir”, and not the Grand Royale Hotel in Venice, then having to explain to the wife (who dosent look like a Bond girl) why one is late (again). Life for a ‘non-Bond’ isnt really ‘Bond’ at all… as you can see.

The trouble is, none of us were ready to belive that Bond is a fictional character. He was part of every man that ever bought a ‘first day-first show’ ticket in ‘black’ at Capri (R.I.P.) to movies like ‘Dr. No’, ‘You Only Live Twice’, ‘The Spy Who Loved Me’, ‘For Your Eyes Only’…

The trouble also is that he did finally remain ‘fiction’.

Sean Connery was followed by Roger Moore, who in turn had other younger men like Timolthy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan and now Daniel Craig take on the mantle. ‘The Indian Bond Man’; of course, had to live with whatever body, wife and life were offered. Except that the Bond in some of us never died. Evident from the fact that the most expensive car registraion number in India is (guess what…) 007.

For the last few years, every time I see one of those coveted numbers on a car, I make it a point to stop and ask the owner a few questions. This is my research into a very interesting side of human psycology; fondly called ‘The Bond Syndrome’. Here are a few that I found intesting (also note the car the number was on). The names don’t matter …to me they are all just …‘Bond’.

Name

1. Mr. Bond
Mercedez Benz
Owner of a Paint Manufacturing Plant

"This is the number I always wanted.
This is me."

2 Mr. Bond
Maruti
Area Manager for a Pharma Company

"Oh! You noticed…Thank You, Thank
you"

3 Mr. Bond
Jeep
Farm owner just outside DehraDun

"I don’t know, the number came with
the Jeep...You want it?"

4 Mr. Bond
Maruti 800
Son

"Papa said 007 means we are 'Hip', he
paid extra for that number"

5 Mr. Bond
New Toyota SUV

"Hum kya James Bond se kam hain?"

The last one was especially interesting. This is how he sounded “Hum Kya Zames Baand se
kum Hai?”

“Not at all Sir…you’ve actually kept him alive… here … right behind your car!”

‘James Bond’ is dead…

Long live ‘Zames Baand’, licence to drive number- UK 07- XA- 0007.

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

Culture Vulture OR Vulture Culture?

2010-11-26T10:59:00.001+05:30

Some weeks ago when we wrote about the deteriorating culture in DehraDun, we had no idea that it would stick to so many people (Ref:Open letter to CM and MC). At, at least 2 different places; people picked up a conversation with me about my critical comments on certain people who are contributing to the ‘Muzzafarnagar-isation’ of Doon. The mention below is about one of those ‘interesting’ conversations.

The conversation started in the usual cordial tone of “Oh! I read your article, and liked it”, it then went into “but, I think you are stereo-typing people” and went on to “how can you call one culture better than the other?”

Well, I don’t. I can only compare cultures and leave the judgment to whoever cares to make one.

The last entire century was lead by dogmatic leaders who changed the world forever. Germans are better than Jews…Capitalism is better than communism…White is better than black…I can plunder your country’s oil, but you can’t…My religion is better than yours…Etc. (usually absolutely extreme ends) We saw so much of X is better than Y and the conflict arising out of it, that all discussion about comparisons slowly stopped (other than in closed rooms) and the world started to say what is always ‘politically correct’. It became so important to not get into conflict, that we stopped calling ‘a spade, a spade’. All this under the guise of ‘different people and cultures work differently and what is true for one may not be true for another”…so “all cultures are equal and should co-exist”. So far so good…not that conflict completely ceased.

Coming back to the conversation with this gentleman; I asked “Do you think that all people are equal?”

“Yes, of course” he replied.

“Do you think one culture is better than the other?”

“No, I think all cultures have their own ways and that those ways are not better or worse, just different”

“Do you think there might be ways by which one culture can be called better than the other?”

“No, no again…cultures are different, not better or worse; just different”

“Do you think a culture that generally respects women may be better than a culture that doesn’t?”

“Well…”

“Do you think a usually compassionate culture is better than a usually violent culture?”

“Well…”

“Do you think Dehradun’s culture is better than some other places around Dehradun?”

“Well…”

To people who have chosen to make DehraDun their home …”Guys; please be nice to your
town…this is the only one we have!”

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

Too ‘Animal’ , or not to ‘Animal’; that…

2010-11-26T10:54:00.002+05:30

Gauri Maulekhi is passionate about animal rights. Major Amit Salathia is a ‘Shaurya Chakra’ and is equally passionate about soldiering. Before I tell you about what happened and the narrative, lets discuss the difference between a ‘debate’ and a ‘discussion’. In a debate, people usually choose opposite ends and defend their view point, in an attempt to win. Usually even a ‘debatable’ topic has enough meat on both ends, hence the debate. In a discussion, people are open to newer view points and hence both sides have a chance of ‘winning’.

The debate started over Gauri addressing the use of a certain kind of snake for training commandos. Amit explained why it is done and how it is important for commandos to learn to survive in adverse and wild conditions. Gauri explained further how certain species are dying and have to be saved. Amit replied by citing examples from his own experience on surviving for days without civilized food. Both were right (like in debates). Both are passionate.

The debate and we took a break when tea arrived and Gauri got a call on her mobile. By this time they had already spent about 15 minutes on the agenda and this break in proceedings was welcome to everybody else in the audience, including the staff of my office. By this time (I think) both of them had also realized that it wasn’t going anywhere. I could judge that by the “this person is impossible” look each gave me. They both were.

Out of sheer courtesy (I guess) and out of exhaustion, they both fell silent and started sipping the strong brew. Once the caffeine settled, Amit said “I understand your concern for animals, but we need to find a middle path…how do you think we can save animals and not compromise the training”. Gauri then explained how some humane and less hurtful ways can be used, whilst
understanding Amit’s viewpoint. Suddenly the whole room was brighter and the ‘debate’ had turned into a ‘discussion’.

I’m not sure what happened after that but it was obvious that both of them went away wiser about each other’s areas.

Gauri; by the way, was at my office discussing how we can support People for Animals’ new state level umbrella organization. The one that gets launched on the 20th of November. She has been working very hard, like many of her colleuges , for years to fight for and advocate animal rights. The organisation was instumental in getting some action done around animal sacrifice,that is
widely prevelent in our state, as also runs a hospital and shelter for animals at Tapovan , near Raipur. As I write, they have 130 animals, including dogs, bulls, monkeys, goats, and hens, cows …That’s a lot to take care of and between her and her equally devoted colleagues.

If you’d like to support them, please visit www.pfauttarakhand.org .

Till next week.

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

SPECIAL CHILDREN, SPECIAL DAY

2010-11-26T10:53:00.000+05:30

Hope you had a great time at Diwali. And I do hope that you kept my advice in mind during the celebrations! I want to thank everyone who wrote back to say that they have decided to have a eco-friendly Diwali from now on. A lot of people write to me, sharing their experiences and asking questions about various challenges they face. I believe we have a great forum now where we have created dialogue, raised issues and spread awareness on these crucial topics. The truth is most of us are going through similar challenges, all we need is to become thinking and acting people. Kudos to everyone who has decided to get up and get moving. I feel grateful and blessed that what I sent out has now multiplied. Now that more of us are taking this journey, more people are going to join us on the way. And our destination is to be good and better parents. After all, what is more important to us as parents than the well-being of our children? It's the 14^th of November and as our country celebrates Children's Day, what is the greatest gift that we can give our children today? Since many years, this day is being celebrated to commemorate Pt. Nehru's love for children. Why don't we use this day to recommit ourselves to our responsibility as parents?

All of us come into the role of a parent as a beginner; it's difficult to know exactly how to do it. Children do not arrive with packaged instructions and help manuals (I wish they did!). When we don't know what to do, we often do what is done to us. Remember, most of us had parents who were neither always bad nor always good. They had their limitations as we have ours. Reinvent yourself into being the parent you wish your parents had been. What we are going to need most on this journey are love and courage. I once believed that courage is an absence of fear, but I now know that really, courage is the abandonment of fear in the name of love. The only thing more powerful then fear is love, and the most powerful love is the love we have for our children. See, doesn't that make things easier?

Let's start with belief in our own abilities and skills. I feel that even if God did not send us an instruction manual, he gave us the wherewithal, the right feelings and abilities to be a parent. We just have to believe we have them. Now if you have armed yourself with this belief and confidence, I am going to take you through a step-by-step journey in good parenting. I will elaborate on each of the following steps as we go further each week.

Step One is to Look in the mirror. Reinforce the positives and reverse the negatives in yourself and your child. Teach your child by your own positive example. Keep changing until you are proud of what you see in the mirror.

Step Two is to Take the journey. Reclaim your primary role as a parent and teacher of your child. Learn the power of example. Make yourself a worthy parent.

Step Three is to Take the time. Discover the individuality of your child, which will need time and patience. Then learn how to encourage and motivate your child in his personal physical, intellectual and spiritual quests.

Step Four is to Be the guide. Inspire your child to be self-reliant. It's a difficult road to travel, but stay focused and believe.

Step Five is to Build trust. Trust your children and teach them the importance and challenge of choices, the importance of rules, and individual and collective responsibility.

Step Six is to Show the way. Emphasize the value of work as a way to achieve goals. Teach them how to set goals. Through example, teach them about the miraculous power of effort and joy in work.

Step Seven is to Have faith. Show them you believe they are capable. Teach them to be responsible for their own work, and how to get the help they need to fulfill that responsibility.

Step Eight is to Take the lead. Accept the fact that parents must monitor who and what is influencing their children. Learn how to curb to negative influence of media, peer pressure, etc.

Step Nine is to Find the good. Learn and teach the true definition of self-worth, self-esteem and self-confidence and how self-discipline leads to all these.

Step Ten is to Be a Beginner. Learn about true lifelong learning. Get a better understanding of how you learn, and how your willingness and openness to learning teaches your child to do the same.

There are many paths we can follow, many choices we can make, and many successes we can achieve. But none will ever present as great an opportunity for a significant contribution to this world as the singular accomplishment of raising a good child. Surely no task is more challenging, more far reaching in its potential to influence future generations. Martha Kinney once wrote, “I am a reflection of my past generations and the essence of those following after me.”

HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY!

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

“Om Jai Jagdish” and a Happy Diwali

2010-11-26T10:49:00.002+05:30

Belated Happy Diwali Guys. Trust you had fun and the hangovers are over; and thanks, I had an interesting Diwali too.

‘Interesting’ is actually an understatement. It was more like, hmmm…, what’s the word, educating; I guess. This was our first Diwali in DehraDun after almost two decades and frankly; we had almost forgotten the way it works. Also, I haven’t made as many blunders (in the ‘social’ way) in a span of 3 days, as around this Diwali and am now confident of not repeating my mistakes.

Blunder number one… I didn’t realize that I had to reply to each ‘mass-sent’ SMS , with a ‘Thank You Dear…We wish you a Happy Diwali too’, neither did I send any. The logic was simple. We meet our friends and relatives often enough, and they deserve more than an SMS. I call this a blunder, because after Diwali I bumped into people who actually asked me why I didn’t reply. I wanted to say, “But you forwarded the same message that Himanshu had sent to Amit and others, who forwarded it to Nisha and others, who mass forwarded the same message to her entire address book.” How do I know? Well, ‘Diwali’ was spelt ‘Diwoli’ in the last line of the message; and I got the same message from Himanshu and Amit and Nisha and maybe seven other people on the same day, only sequentially. Lesson learnt: Always send mass messages. People know you are mass mailing, but at least they know that they are on your address
book.

Blunder number two…I did not buy economical gifts for everyone I know. Its only when people that you rarely meet; come home with a gift wrapped box of ‘Haldiram’s Namkeen’, that you realize; they not just exist but also remember you. The guilt is immediate. I mean as soon as you see them at the door with something in their hand…you know that the gesture will have to be reciprocated. That of course after checking the exact value of the Namkeens.

Blunder number three…I didn’t have a picture of Goddess Laxmi , Lord Ganesh, Lord Ram, Lord Krishan, Goddess Kali, Lord Kubera, Lord Hanuman, Lord Dhanvantri, Lord Yama, King Bali, or any of the other dieties to be remembered during ‘puja’ at home. This meant that the puja had to be outsourced to our dear neighbours. Mrs, and Mr. Malhotra were kind to let us sit through their puja, but did raise an eyebrow when I couldn’t sing the entire aarti with them. I had no excuse. As a person born in a Hindu family, the least one expects to know, is “Om Jai Jagdish”.

I know; none of the blunders above deserve forgiveness. I also know that the prices of even economical gifts go up every year, so here’s my plan.

For the SMS blunder: I will start sending “Happy Diwali” to my entire address book a week before next diwali, so no body can accuse me of copying the original SMS.

For the economical gifts blunders: Some that we received this year will last till the next. The rest we plan to buy.

For the puja blunder: Mrs. and Mr. Malhotra have agreed to continue living in our colony and be our neighbours.

“Om Jai Jagdish” and a very Happy Diwali. This, by the way; is for the one next year. In advance!

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

Sundays Around Doon - Diwali

2010-11-26T10:44:00.002+05:30

First off, let me wish you all a very joyous and glowing Deepavali. I wish this Deepavali brings not just material prosperity to us all, but brings more generosity so that we can share our abundance with others. That’s downright being selfish, if you know what I mean; well, happiness grows by sharing, so why not share and grow our happiness!!

If I start talking about and suggesting you where to go this weekend, what with all of the weekend full with ‘festivals’, I’m going to get spammed with hate mails and choicest abuses of which only Doonites are capable of (there’s an earlier article referring to them in Full Plate). So that takes care of the weekend stuff. But still, I’m supposed to write some ‘meaningful’ stuff up to a ‘certain’ length every week or so. That leaves me caring for what to write.

Infact, all my mind’s full of is the row of festivals coming. And I’m already beginning to feel good, so I hope are all of us. After all, its our Major ‘tyohar’. And anyway, shopping, celebrations, happy faces all around and meeting up people always fill up my being with just such a glow as Elizabeth Gilbert describes in her book ‘Eat,Pray,Love’. I bet even she hasn’t tasted the glow of celebrating Deepavali.

Every weekend we travel to someplace that brings us happiness and joy, adventure and fun. This week, I propose we take happiness and joy, and travel around with it. But be careful, happiness is very contagious, so spread it with caution. As you take it with you around the city meeting and greeting family, relatives, friends and people, it’s going to infect them as well, and before you know, you would be surrounded by a massive all round feeling of happiness, the only kind that bring such a glow to your being that lights up a lifetime.

Let’s travel with peace, abundance and tolerance as well. They are in short supply, and if you can spread them around, everyone will thank you.

As in this world full of capitalism, there are ‘fake’ happinesses to be found too. They are sold in the market in bright shiny packages, and promise you unbelievable ‘glows’. But this Deepavali, stay away from such fake promises of ‘happiness’. Don’t fall in for expensive over displays of lighting. They will only shoot up your electricity bill, and their glow will last but a while. Follow the traditional practice of glowing ‘diyas’ full of colour and cleaning up your air. And let’s stay as far away as possible from those things that produce a lot of noise and boom, but bring a monthful of gloomy skies and polluted air to the city.

And let’s remember, there are thousands in our state who just a short while back faced the worst trauma of their lives, losing their homes and families. Let us also be sensitive to them, and while celebrating our joy, pledge to share a little of our ‘abundance’ with them, and help them in their crisis.

Enjoy a ‘glowing’ Deepavali.

Him Ahuja is an avid traveler and runs a travel blog named http://allhimalaya.com

'LIGHT' UP THE WORLD

2010-11-26T10:41:00.000+05:30

Diwali is here again! It's festivities, fun, food, firecrackers and fireworks all around! People are gearing up for a 'rocking' Diwali once again ,and what better way to do it than burst firecrackers and organize displays of fireworks. The bigger the better, of course! Is there anything that bothers you about this picture? What can we add or take away from the above that could make this Diwali better than others? I can see light dawning and heads nodding! That's a good sign, but what next? Hmm?

Why am I writing about this? Because this is a very, very important responsibility as a parent. There is something quite awry about our sense of fun today. We have now begun to associate festival time with buying and spending, no holds barred, the most expensive things we can afford, somehow confusing abundance with affluence, mistaking prosperity with a opulence, a sense of competition to outdo others with our festivities, pomp and celebrations. We buy gold, jewellery, land, houses, shops, offices, bigger cars, things we need, and more things we do not need, just to 'feel good' about our spending power. We are filling up our lives, our houses, our minds and even our relationships with THINGS! We want to give 'the best' to our children but the best is not about values or morals anymore, it is about big, beautiful, expensive things! Is that really the best we can give our children? Instead of mindless spending, could we not teach them love, compassion, giving, service and charity this Diwali? All the abundance in our lives is God's grace, could we not share it this time with the lesser fortunate? We have so much, sharing it with others is only going to multiply it, because the Law of Giving directly sets the Law of Abundance and Prosperity in motion. You may have read Ajay's write-up on this subject.

Whatever I have learned and seen so far tells me that we are the custodians of our earthly wealth and things while we are on this planet. We need to be good stewards of it, take care of it, use it wisely, not be wasteful but thrifty, and most importantly, give as freely as we have been given. The only thing that stops God from sending anything our way is our own miserliness or selfishness. If you really want to 'feel good', there is nothing like the warm, fuzzy feeling you get when you give, which does not diminish as soon as all the crackers burn out. What better Diwali gift to our children than teaching them these important laws through our own examples?

What can we do practically about this? Make small trips with the children during these days, giving money, new clothes and shoes, essential items to people who live in orphanages, old age homes or destitutes. Sponsor a year's education for a child/children with the money you were going to spend on the infamous 10,000 chain-bombs or other expensive firecrackers! The money that you have planned to spend/ lose in Diwali parties or posh celebrations, you could send a draft through various organizations to so many areas hit with natural calamities or political warfare, like the remote areas of Uttarakhand, Ladakh, Kashmir, maoist areas around the country,...the possibilities are endless. Talk to the children about all this, make them aware and then ask them if they would like to give away their Diwali funds for these causes. I can assure you of the overwhelming response of a child's loving, giving heart! Let this year's Diwali budget work for the greater good of so many more families than just yours.

The other aspect of Diwali celebrations is the use of fireworks, and no celebrations are considered complete without burning up hundreds and thousands of them! But not enough can be said about the extremely harmful effects of this on our health and the environment at large. These are both safety and health hazards. I cannot possibly mention all the health-related problems here, but a few prominent ones are hearing loss, high blood pressure, deafness, heart attacks, nausea, mental impairment, asthma, bronchitis, etc. My older son, who is now almost ten, since the age of 2 or 3, has been working continually to educate first us, then his classmates and people he meets, about how harmful firecrackers are for us, our surroundings and consequently, our whole world. He talks about how children who are made to work illegally in factories that make firecrackers, not only suffer child labour, but chronic and irreversible diseases! How can we, as parents, allow this gross suffering and inhuman behaviour to continue with other children? The only way we can help this is by breaking off the demand chain, the supply will have to go down as well. These small children are also a part of our greater responsibility.

Decreased visibility due to smog leads to so many accidents every year. The loud and sudden noises are very traumatic for small babies, the sick and dying, and older people. Even animals suffer on account of firecrackers as they have a more sensitive sense of hearing than humans. Have we as a society, completely lost our compassion and humaneness? Is our fun more important than the well-being and lives of others? I certainly hope not. Even the government of India has banned firecrackers between 10 pm and 6 am, from Dushehra to Diwali, observing that the ‘Right to Sleep’ is a fundamental right. The Central Pollution Board of India has banned firecrackers with a decibel level of more than 125 at a distance of 4 meters from the bursting point. Even the authorities that we blame are making efforts to reduce this nuisance, why can't we? After all, is this not our family, our neighbourhood, our society, our planet, our world?

The sanctity of Diwali should not be blown away in smoke. Diwali is a festival of lights, let us not turn it into a festival of noise and fire. Insead, let us teach our children to celebrate with lighting up our houses and neighbourhood, not in expensive ways, but with 'diyas' and candles. Get them to help with the spring-cleaning, getting rid of the unnecessary stuff, decorating the house, painting 'rangolis', preparing for the 'pooja', helping with making festival sweets, wrapping up small gifts for friends and family, 'making up' with neglected or estranged ones, making colourful greeting cards, etc. All this will not only help them to learn about the true spirit of Diwali, but they will also be able to think of 'fun' in other ways than just bursting firecrackers. At our Centre, last Diwali we made the children aware about these various aspects, and it was so heartening to see that a majority of the children, even as young as 4 years of age, undertook a pledge to have a safe, environment-friendly Diwali. They also took on the responsibility to educate their friends and family about all these issues, and these special children earned very special certificates for their endeavours! It was very interesting to see that it was the parents who had more of a problem with having a fireworks-free Diwali! (Sorry, parents!)

What then is our responsibility this Diwali? Let us turn Diwali back into a festival of lights, victory, prayer, giving, sharing, joy, happiness, goodwill, sanctity, safety, freshness, laughter and fun! And don't forget, good parenting! All these good things which come out of loving hearts and open minds. All the things that all the money and opulence in the world cannot buy. Let us pray at this time for ourselves, our loved ones and the entire planet. Let us all reclaim Diwali for what it signifies – light, hope and fresh beginnings. All the blessings of love, light, happiness and abundance are on their way to you in a fresh new way this year. HAVE A BRILLIANT DIWALI!

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

A 'story' in reply to an email

2010-11-26T10:39:00.001+05:30

The response to our last week’s article (Ye Shahar Kiska Hai?) has been heartwarming. Not just in terms of the number of responses we got, but also about what people wrote. Thanks a lot DehraDun for believing that something can be done to avoid further defacement of this town. I also got a very interesting comment from a lady; and I quote from her mail …“there are many before you guys that have tried and failed to improve this town. You guys just write in a ‘classified paper’. This town is run by people that don’t care about the place anymore. Believe me! Nothing will change”.

I’m not sure.

My first reaction was to write back to the lady and advocate a more positive outlook. But then again, maybe she is just voicing what a lot of us feel. Her truth is as ‘true’ as ours. The following words are not mine. I have used the story below a hundred times in my training classes and haven’t been able to write a better one that says the same thing. So to whoever wrote this (and do let me know if you find out)… the story still inspires us. Maybe it would help a few others. Here it is.

‘The Starfish Story’ by Anonymous

One morning, I went out for my daily sunrise walk on the beach. Off in the distance, I could see someone pick something up off the beach, walk a little way into the ocean, and then toss the object into the water.

Then, the person, who appeared to be a small boy, picked up another object and tossed it also into the sea. He continued to do this as I walked. As I approached, I saw that he was picking up starfish. I stopped and asked him why he was doing this. The boy explained that the starfish were stranded and that in another hour or two they would dry up and die. He was saving their lives.

The innocence of youth, I thought. I told him that there were thousands of starfish on the beach, and he couldn't possibly make a difference. The kid stopped and looked down, as if to study the water that washed over our bare feet. Then he walked over and picked up another starfish, walked into the sea and tossed it in.

"Sir," he said, "It made a difference for that one."

End of Story.

The question to really ask is; “Yeh Shahar Kiska Hai?” and maybe
the answer to that, has some solutions for our town.

Till next week…have a great buildup to Diwali.

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

GOOD STUDY HABITS

2010-10-26T11:02:00.000+05:30

A very important part of good parenting is good teaching. Our role as parents also incorporates the significant role of being teachers to our children. We cannot deny or ignore this primary responsibility, for it comes with the package. If we neglect it, our children face the danger of turning out to be irresponsible, disinterested, immature and unsuccessful. That is a terrifying thought and we need to make the right efforts NOW to avoid that situation. It is crucial that in order to make our children good learners, as well as achievers in their student life, they need to to be taught to be self-motivated and self-suffiecient. They need to develop independent study and learning skills and good personal habits. Some of the key study habits that our children need to acquire are accurate observation, careful planning, concentration on task at hand, systematic methods, perseverance in difficult tasks, an optimistic outlook, promptness in completing each assignment, regular revision of work done and above all, being eager and excited about the learning process.

Such a long list may put you off, thinking how is it possible for our children when they don't even sit down to study on their own! It may be difficult, but not impossible. Each of these habits is interlinked with the other, you start with one and they keep falling into place. All you need is to get started with one, and build on it gradually. I would suggest starting with the planning – scheduling the time and duration of studying, as well as playtime and recreation. It always helps to have a clear idea of what to do next, it keeps us away from procrastination. All this may take some time and effort as 'old habits die hard', and for good habits to become a way of life.

All that I have mentioned in the list becomes very easy if we start with our children very early, even as early as playschool! Yes, it's true, we can easily get our children accustomed to a schedule even when they are as young as that. I don't mean burdening them with spelling or math or writing. I just mean setting a time aside to sit together and sing rhymes or talk about colours, tell stories or simply talk about what they did in school and ask them to repeat it. Repitition amounts to revision, and isn't that what they do when they grow up, go over everything that they read or wrote in class? This gets them into the habit of homework – doing a learning or study related activity at a particular time everyday. So when they grow older, they are already familiar with this concept and can easily fall into the more formal homework and revision routine. What I did with my children was that each day I would just tell him/her that we are going to eat now, then take a short nap, and then it will be time to 'study' whatever new things we have learned today. How this helps is that they have it on their minds beforehand, so it becomes a 'plan'. Secondly, by making it sound very 'important', we can get them excited about it, they look forward to 'studying', for they haven't yet started to look upon it as a 'chore'! Believe me, it really works, and it only needs consistency from us. If we just sit with them even for half an hour at the same time every day, they easily fall into the routine. I now have no problems with my two school-going sons, Grades 1 and 5, for they sit down with their homework or revision on their own, even when I am not around the house sometimes.

What is also important is to stress on the imporatance of revising all work done in class. In school, mostly information and concepts are passed on, so at home, this information has to be assimilated and comprehended. When children revise, they 'process' this infomation into knowledge. This way learning comes a full circle and it becomes more permanent in their memory. Revision or reading the chapters done in class is an intrinsic part of homework. Having been a teacher for so many years, I would often wonder why some children are not able to remember what we did just a few days back in class. But becoming a mother, and trying to instill good study habits in my child, I discovered the answer. I always encouraged my eldest son to read over again all that he had done in class, from the textbook as well as the notebook, and so he always remembered everything even after a long time. Then I encouraged my younger son to do the same, and the same worked for him as well. I have now started this process with my two and a half year old daughter. With the younger children, when there is less or no pressure of homework, we can make them read the chapter aloud for us, do a few exercises in their practice notebooks, like write down the new words they've learned, practice a little handwriting every day, do counting – forwards and backwards, reverse, missing, etc. We can do this in a fun way, so that they enjoy it, and they associate learning with fun.

One crucial thing to remember is to appreciate and praise very effort of theirs, point out the few mistakes gently and encourage them to re-do the part with mistakes. Remember to praise them again for their wonderful effort! I have seen it work wonders in my own children. They are happy to be told to study now, and it is not a struggle for me as I know it can be for a lot of parents.

One other thing that really works is allowing the children to choose their study time on their own. For one, it gives them a sense of importance and responsibility, it tells them we trust them to make good decisions, and also makes them take ownership of their own homework. Let them come with ideas, follow them for a couple of days, see what works and what doesn't, for example, some children may feel very drowsy after lunch while others may not, some may be too tired after playtime, while others might be refreshed, etc. Each child has his/her own 'good' time. Help your child to discover this 'optimum' time of the day. Gently guide them into reaching the corrrect decisions. But also tell them that from now on, they are responsible to be back home at that time, and sit down with their homework. Remind them if need be, but make them eventually responsible for settling down on their own. It will take them a few days to settle them into that routine, but they will soon do so.

What has worked for our family is a short nap (never more than 45 mins. to an hour) after lunch-time, then activity-time like going for music, dance or pottery lessons, coming back and playing with their friends, just free play or some sports, (no TV or computer games, please!), then coming home to a nice, warm bath, an early dinner, an hour of homework or reading time, prayer-time, and then into bed by 9.00. If my older son feels he has more studying to do, he is motivated enough to get up an hour earlier in the morning, and finish it on his own. It makes me proud that he has taken ownership and responsibility of his own work. And believe it or not, this is the same schedule that we follow, exams or no exams, and our children mostly find this enough time to prepare or revise. We do not stop their activities or playtime, they may decide to do it on their own, if they feel they have more to do. One thing we also stress on is good eating and sleeping habits, and this really helps them to face the pressures of every day work or exam time. I encourage you to try to follow these guidelines in your lives as well, and results will follow soon. What is needed for you to be present but not pressurizing, forming a similar schedule for yourselves as well. While the children are studying, you could be in the next room reading, so that they learn by example that you value reading and studying as well. If you watch TV, etc. in that time, they feel that they are the ones who are being 'burdened' while you are enjoying yourselves. If we want them to be independent and responsible now, we have to set examples. Let's WALK THE TALK!

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

Yeh Shaher Kiska Hai?

2010-10-26T10:58:00.002+05:30

I know it’s politically incorrect, but I really do not relate to our old national Heroes anymore. Gandhi, Nehru, Tilak …I’m sure they were all fine men and Heroes in their own right, but they are too old for me. Look; I understand that they may still be relevant and what they have left behind is of great value to us…but that’s not what helps me live everyday now. Let me explain. You see, if this was the 1940s and India was fighting for independence (or something) , I’m sure a lot of us would get inspired by these people, but not when my mobile ring tone changes every hour to suit my mood. I need Heroes and role models that inspire me now, in 2010, to become better, do more, seek higher…exactly what a role model should do. That too in everyday life.

Let’s look at the remaining possibilities (in terms of available role models) that may inspire the current lot, in which I include everyone from age 3 till the age when one still gets inspired
(choose).

Sports stars. Very few.
Film stars. Well, a handful and their market ‘role model’ value oscillates with the box office collection of their last films.
Politicians and bureaucrats. The less said the better.
Businessmen. Here we suddenly have a breather. Narayan Murthy, Rattan Tata, Asim Premji… and the newer lot of entrepreneurs that have upheld India’s pride.
Some not so famous but brilliant social workers.

All in all, as a nation of more than a billion people…very few role models.

This then; is a real tragedy for India.

Unless, we start to look around closely and define leadership and role modeling in a slightly different way. Lets for the moment call this ‘quiet leadership’.

When I say ‘quiet leadership’, I don’t necessarily mean lower decibel levels or volume. In fact, in some cases quite the contrary.

Quiet leaders are everywhere. In fact in every home and school. Ask any kid, who they want to be, and who’s the best person in the world and the reply will always be “My Dad” or “My class
teacher” or “Principal”.

The problem with role models is that they get ‘modeled’. People do what they see their role models doing. So if ‘My Dad’ drives on the wrong side of the road, so will I. If ‘My Teacher’ spits, shouts, corrupts, steals, hits, blows…well he is still my role model.

Confucius, the great Chinese philosopher and thinker said …“The ancients, who wished to illustrate illustrious virtue throughout the kingdom, first ordered well their own states. Wishing to order well their states, they first regulated their families. Wishing to regulate their families, they first cultivated their persons.”

Look at Dr. Pandey and his ‘people for a green doon’. Try to illegally cut any tree in Dehradun and he would get there with his group…anytime of the day and night. He is ‘loud’ but ‘quiet’.
Or Yudhistir Puran Singh…all of 23 years, the bloke has started DehraDun talking about environmental concerns within just the last 7 months. Or Mr. Sheel Vohra, who passed away just a few days ago and will always, be remembered by students in DehraDun, especially the Doon School.

I’m not sure if any of us can do too much about the state of the country, but if the math runs right, we’d be happier if we start with our home, mohalla, town…

To all the ‘quiet’ heroes of Dehradun… ‘Guys, Thank You’. This town owes a lot to you, even if we do not know where you are.

P.S. Incidentally the top 10 musicians in DehraDun have been working on a song
called “DehraDun DehraDun” (kind of like our local town Anthem) and intend to make
it into a film called “Yeh Shehar Kiska Hai”. If you’d like a free copy of the ‘DehraDun
Song’ and the film, please feel free to write to ilovedoon@jingles.co.in with your
address and phone. We’ll be happy to include you in our ‘role model’ list.

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

Whose “Ahsaas” is it anyway?

2010-10-19T11:13:00.001+05:30

I’m not sure how many girls attend my workshop every week. 20-30 I guess. The numbers keep changing, but they all seem to know exactly what happened when they were missing. Officially; we call it the ‘Ahsaas’ club.

Un-officially? Well…Prison-break!

When I first approached Welham Girls School with the idea of starting a group that writes, sings, paints, composes, shoots, edits…I don’t think any of us knew what we wanted. Mrs. Brar, the principal; however, was patient and heard me out. She was curt when she said “Vineet, all this is a bit confusing…what do you want to do again?” “Well, start a group, and work with young people…” is all I could muster. “And what do the girls learn at the end?” she went further with her drill. “Well, they will learn what they want to…I can only facilitate the learning” I replied sounding philosophical.

She finally agreed to let me run this workshop on one condition. “Vineet, every month, I need to see a film or a presentation, with everything you claim goes into making one. Do you think that’s possible?” I knew there was no way I can finish a script, music, shooting, editing of a film, in the few hours I get with the girls every week…but the question demanded a show of confidence and that’s what it got. “Of course madam” said I…knowing I can always bargain for more time when this starts. “OK then. You start this Monday, and I want the first film to be ready by 21st Oct, so we can feature that on our founder’s day.”

“But that’s only a month” I blurted. “Yes, exactly what you asked for…isn’t it?” she replied.
I guess we know when we have promised; more than we should. I looked towards the sky and knew my non-believing attitude has started to play on my ‘kismet’.

The club started anyway, on the following Monday with Mrs. Brar introducing me to the girls; and the two teachers who will assist and support the workshops. I was once in school myself; you know… and knew immediately what the look in the girls’ eyes meant. It meant I’m going to be rogered.

Our first few meetings moved the project in one direction…backwards. I gave the girls many ideas around what we could write a story about. They heard all of the ideas politely. Even pretended to like some of them, and then; like they had telepathic communication amongst themselves, collectively gave all my ideas a remote resting place usually referred to as the ‘bin’ in many cultures.

I have always wanted to teach in a school. The opportunity came my way in terms of this assignment; and instead of being thankful, I was already thinking of resigning. This, within the second week of my new assignment? How much worse can it get?

I reached school with my mind made up and looking apologetic. Mrs. Brar wasn’t in her room and so I waited. All I had to say was “Madam, I had no idea that teaching in a school is this tough, and because I don’t think I can meet my commitment of delivering a film in a month, I’d rather leave now.” I had rehearsed the delivery a few times in my head, and was looking for politer words when I heard a rather excited voice.

“Sir, I think we know what the story should be about…it has to be about us, our lives, our families, our struggles, our dreams. When do we start the class? You’re late! 13 minutes! We’re all waiting. Why are you sitting here?” Astha shook me out of my guilt induced sleep outside the principal’s office. “AAA…well…you see, I was…?” I muttered and followed her to the class.

The world had suddenly changed. Exactly the way if happens when we have a direction. Over the next few classes, we not just got our many characters right; but wrote a lengthy script, created music and songs to go with the film, started shooting, got the editing software installed, recorded the song…all this with me watching from a distance and just ‘facilitating’. The film that I thought would be impossible to make in the given time, has taken shape in less, with much more in it than originally planned.

We call this club …“Ahsaas”. Meaning, to experince and understand.

The girls; by the way, are not the only ones learning, understanding and experiencing.

Quoting from the film : "There is a part of me that wants to write, a part that wants to theorize, a part that wants to sculpt, a part that wants to teach... to force myself into a single role, to decide to be just one thing in life, would kill off large parts of me." …Is how our film Ends.

The “Ahsaas” however, continues. For the girls and me alike.

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

'TRUE' OR 'FORCED ACHIEVERS?

2010-10-19T11:11:00.000+05:30

Being an achiever in academics is every parent's and child's goal these days. As I mentioned last time, this has created a sort of 'frenzy' or 'mania' among them, especially so when exam-time is at hand. But instead of inculcating the right study skills in their children right from the beginning, parents try to 'manage' and 'control' their children's studies and academic achievements. Children, thus, never feel that the responsibility is theirs, hence, they are never really able to enjoy the rewards of their accomplishments. The educational and school environment today are putting a lot of pressure on the children, to succeed, to achieve, to stay on top, be multi-tasking, disciplined, punctual, competitive, in short, it's all about winning, to be the 'best'! Some schools are known to even boast of the fact that their children study the curriculum a year ahead of their ages, so that they are always ahead of the others' of their age, as well as have that advantage of being a 'winner'! But do our children really understand the meaning or need of all these expectations? Are they motivated enough (if at all!) to be able to deliver on all these fronts?

I don't think so. In fact, that is the reason our children have lost interest in studying, being achievers, striving for excellence, setting goals, or even just plain good performance. Can you blame them? They are now being used as trophies that parents proudly hold up to all and sundry, their marks in their exams being their one only parameter of excellence! Children's marks have become the 'status symbol' of today's parents (being right up there with palatial houses, swank cars, diamonds, foreign trips, etc.)! But the sad part is that the children are being 'pushed' into this kind of competitive environment. They are not really provided with the necessary study skills to achieve all this, so they have to be controlled and managed all the time through endless after-school tuition classes, with no time for play, recreation or just plain old 'doing nothing'. The little free time they get, they just spend watching TV or playing computer games, mostly senseless activities, which do not provide their brains with any refreshment or rejuvenation. It becomes worse when exams are approaching, for then they are completely expected to immerse themselves in their books, only taking out time for eating or sleeping (I hope!). Even the parents, especially the mothers, put their lives completely on hold, I've seen to the extent of no phone-calls, meeting people, having guests over, cooking, etc.! Believe me, this is not an exaggeration.

This is so because children are either not trusted enough to be able to achieve good results on their own, or they have not been encouraged to develop the correct self-study habits, which will last them a lifetime, in whatever they choose to do. The parents feel that without their constant prodding and urging, the children will not be able to manage on their own. This may be true also, because these children do not really know how to. But it is not their fault. There are a few things we, as parents, can do which will help them to become responsible for their own studies and achievements, take control of their own schedules, and thus become independent.

Our aim is to instill in them a sense of purpose. This is because most children fail to understand the purpose of schooling and education, so they just try to pass the time between school and home, somehow willing it to end as soon and painlessly as possible! If they understand that the aim of study is character-building, and the goal is to be result-oriented, they will find a purpose in all these aimless activities that they are 'made' to do. Teachers, books and surroundings help, but in the final analysis, it is all up to the student. Children are capable of learning despite bad teachers, lack of books, difficult surroundings, etc. We do hear these stories often enoughof people who have achieved this. What sets these achievers apart from very other student is their sense of purpose. Students have to learn that they can only learn and perform well if they apply themselves daily. They have to be trained to take responsibility of their time and manage it well. Our job is not to sit with them and make them memorize the answers, our job is to inculcate in them the correct study, time management and personal habits. They will then achieve all this on their own and with flying colours.

First and foremost, we have to 'take the pressure off' created by our expectations of marks. Studying offers challenges in many ways. Marks may not always be a true indication of their progress in learning. It is very imporatnt that we stress on an overall, integrated development. Children enjoy challenges, but our unreasonable pressures drive them away for fear of failure and lack of enjoyment. Secondly, we have to stop comparing them to their classmates or their achievements. This completely demoralizes them and tells them that we have no value for them apart from their achievements and whether or not they are good enough. Instead, we can encourage them to set higher yet realistic personal goals and teach them the ways in which to achieve them. Help them to understand the difference between mediocrity and excellence, but also letting them know that success and failure are realtive, they can only be correnctly measured by the efforts and not only by the results. A very important thing is not to 'spoon-feed' the children, but to provide a supportive environment, conducive for self-study. I believe motivation firstly comes from principled parents, because success always has a moral and ethical side to it. To succeed, the child must want to do it and do it well. That is motivation. From the time they are toddlers, we will have to continually inspire, excite and encourage them to perform to the best of their abilities. Motivation and goal-setting are thus essential ingredients for a 'winning' child.

To reinforce their perfomance and behaviour, we have to help them to have good and healthy mental and emotional patterns. We can do this by planting words of encouragement, appreciation, praise and positive persuasion in them. These words will then blossom inside them and manifest through positive actions. They can be encouraged to read motivational texts and parts of the holy scriptures regularly, especially before they sleep, for the last thing that goes into them at bedtime will be the first thing on their minds in the morning. They can be taught how to effectively channelize their minds to positive thinking. Tell them they are loved, appreciated and trusted. They will succeed! They are winners! Filling them with purposeful words of conviction and belief in their abilities is guaranteed to bring results. For what we believe, we achieve. For your children to become 'true' and not 'forced' achievers, you will have to help them to inculcate good personal and healthy habits. These include right food, right sleep, right thought, right visual and audio intake, right actions, perseverance, planning, optimism, promptness, regularity, etc.

I would like to elaborate on all these in the next issue, the actual physical side of study, what it means and what it takes to teach and achieve all of the above. It will just need patience and consistency from us, but our children will eventually be true achievers and will excel in whatever they do. According to Aristotle, “Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.”

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

The ‘Royal’ trip

2010-10-19T11:08:00.001+05:30

By the way writing this column every week is no miniature task. It isn’t about writing per se, it’s about finding what to write about first that daunts me. Like this time. You see, it isn’t like I’ve been writing forever…only after we moved to DehraDun. Also; it’s tough to type while driving a car. I’m in Jaipur as I write, and for the last 3 days or so have been (literally) on the road. Doon to Delhi, then onwards to Jaipur…and no, I’m not on vacation, actually quite the contrary. Vacations are different.

After experiencing Dehradun’s weather and people, every other place looks and feels second grade. In fact one doesn’t need to go too far…just cross Biharigarh; and you’ll know what I mean.
OK, so message one is: I hate leaving DehraDun. The question that follows of course is why am I not in Doon then? And the answer is, because; I’m married.

Yes, it has a lot to do with my marriage. The ‘Mrs.’ traces her so called ‘royal’ ancestry to a place called “Jothwara” a little ahead of Jaipur. I too, don’t at all mind, living with erstwhile ‘royals’, as
long as they do not insist that I accompany them on tours of old havelis, rotten ‘gullies’ , relatives that have nothing in common with us , and places that sound completely alien to me. But no Sir,
this royal specimen would not listen, like every other wife in the world. She believes that tours like these will make ‘stuck’ humans like me appreciate India and its culture, as also make us humble. She clearly has no idea; how ‘stuck’ we are.

Anyway, I have decided to use this time to further my study of ‘the art of patience’.

Every relative of Mehak’s we meet, expects that I would bend completely down and touch their feet. Feet! Feet? This; when I have a bad back and a family that believes in pretending to bend
down whilst saying ‘pari-pena ji’? She just doesn’t understand that it doesn’t come naturally to me. Then (and this one completely blows me off) I do not comprehend why every ‘haveli’ has two sitting rooms. His and her’s. Can you imagine this in 2010? So Mehak can walk through every room in the house because she is ‘the girl of the house’ and I am restricted to the ‘gents’ areas because I’m the ‘outsider damaad’. As if I can see anything through the long ‘ghooghats’ that every woman seems to love. So much for development in Rajasthan.

The food, I must say, kind of; compensates for everything else. So, I keep shut and follow the royal orders. The orders are to follow her into shops, gullies, mohallas, and other dangerous areas that (I’m sure) even locals would not venture into. This is where she finds people who make ‘hand block prints’ and jewelry, and (imagine) chappals, and sarees …who knows what else. How she knows where to go is beyond me. My job is watch as she buys loads of this stuff and be the good husband and pay. That’s it.

I’m not sure why I agreed to come to Jaipur with Mehak and if I’ll ever come back. I do however think that when Mehak starts her Rajasthani store in DehraDun, she should give me 5% of the
profits just for being the ‘good, silent, adjusted, husband’ and remember that this is compensation for taking my ‘royal a@#’.

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

FEVER? FRENZY? MANIA?!

2010-10-01T15:46:00.000+05:30

Phew!!! They're finally over! Finally, our town (alongwith half our country!) can breathe a sigh of relief. Life can go on as usual now. We can step out of our houses now and then, and guests are once more welcome now! The Tvs can be on all day again, and children can again talk and play with their friends! What am I talking about? The half-yearly exams, of course! The biggest event this time of the year in our side of the country! And we're only just warming up for the BIG ones in March, the FINALS! Once again life will come to a standstill, parents will lose their appetites and their precious sleep, and exams will haunt us in our nightmares! In our country, our children's exams are bigger than natural disasters, terrorist attacks, budget statements, elections, dowry deaths, murder trials, satellite-launches, everything! For exams, not only do parents put their lives on hold, but make their children's lives miserable! Scoring the highest marks in all subjects becomes the only thing worth achieving, everything else becomes worthless or secondary. The tension in the air is palpable, the stress is visible, and even children as young as 4-5 years old are made to study for as long as five hours or more! What is going on?!

The marks they score in exams are the parameter by which the children's achievements are judged. They are not 'good enough' if they score anything less than 95% marks! The expectations from children are so high, they have become ludicrous! And this is when the children are not even preparing for their exams on their own. Their parents, especially the mothers, sit with them, go through each chapter with them, make them memorize the answers, word-meanings, diagrams, etc., painstakingly making sure that the child knows everything ever written in his/her notebooks during that year “by heart”, so that he/she is capable of reproducing every word on the sheets of exam-paper word-for-word! Amazing effort and hard work on your part! It would all be good though, if all this was not making the child incapable, under-confident and irresponsible! What?! How? It's true though, because during this whole process, year after year, the children are not studying to achieve their personal or academic goals, they are studying to achieve yours! That's because they have no goals of their own, only your expectations and goals to live up to (you try hard to coonvince them are 'good' for them!) Little wonder then, when children grow up, they are completely aimless and irresponsible, and then we blame them or the educational system/government/society as the reason for our children's lack of goals, aims, awareness, responsibility, efforts, decision-making, etc.

But it is us who make our children responsible or useless. When we take control of our children's homework or studies, we take away their responsibility for doing it. We also take away their right to the rewards, personal or otherwise, for its accomplishment. It's their work, let them do it. True, they will often still need your help, but you must help them without doing the work for them. How? Have faith in them that they can do it, then prove it. If you really want to be helpful, help your children learn how to help themselves. Their self-reliance is the key to confidence and what they need really to do their own work and earn their own rewards. To do a good job, it is the actual doing of the task, relying on their own efforts, going through the experience, witnessing the results, assigning goals and reaching them, that will make them believe in their own ability. When a responsibility is assigned to a child, let the task be his or hers to do. That's how children realize whether or not they can do their work on their own, or if they are facing a problem in understanding the concepts. Learning to ask for help is also a great life-lesson that they will learn from this process. But before the children can learn to ask for help, they must first learn to discover, if in fact, they need help. If we just tell them before they even ask for it, it does a lot for our self-confidence, but it certainly doesn't do much for theirs!

If we just jump in and try to make all the decisions, it just releases the children from their the responsibility of determining their own best time, or to plan ahead far enough, or to even know when to ask for help. They know that we will remind them, nag them if need be, because we have taken control! We get so concerned with whether or not they are getting their homework or preparation for exams done, that we lose sight of the fact that it is theirs to do. Some parents even practically end up doing it for their children! We will discuss the dangers attached to this in the next issue. Till then, this is what I'll quote from an ancient Chinese Proverb:

I hear, and I forget.

I see, and I remember.

I do, and I understand.

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

Advice from Shehshahi Ashram

2010-10-01T15:40:00.002+05:30

Shenshahi ashram and ‘Hathi Bhai’s chai shop’ is my usual haunt when I need thinking space. I’ve written many a song or an article just sitting there sipping endless cups of tea. There’s something about his tea that activates one’s grey cells. I think it has to do with the extra energy one gets because of the extra sugar he puts in each cup. I strongly recommend that you specify “no sugar” to him; if you do not want his ‘sherbet’.

Before I moved to Dehradun last year, I did HR management. A lot of it in industries that hired and developed young people…just out of college kinds. I can’t say exactly, but over 16-17 years I may have met, interviewed and hired thousands of people…young people. I hence; naturally, start to judge people on their success ability as soon as I come across them. Just second nature; I guess.

Sitting at Shenshahi ashram gives one an opportunity to closely observe the current lot in DehraDun. They seem to be as regular there as me. I just can’t seem to fathom what they are doing, but they are there. They also seem to be there mostly on working college days.

Well, if all these kids were from DAV or another such college, I may understand that they don’t really need to go to college, but if you claim to be doing engineering or management at a place where your parents paid 5 lacks for the course…that definitely makes me think. You see; and please don’t get me wrong, but most of these courses require more work than a college would put into you. That means that a half decent engineering or management college will first put you through the 8 hours of structured classes, and then you should be putting another 8 of your own. This may (may I said) give you enough understanding over the duration of the course to be able to find a decent placement later.

And let me define “decent”, in decent placement; as used in my previous sentence. If you get a job after doing an MBA, which you could have got without doing it…, it is both a waste of your time and the family’s money. If you intend to sell insurance or join a call center after becoming an engineer, why ask Dad to take a loan.

Conversations with some of these kids are an eye opener. “I’ve paid the fee…The college will get me placed…whatever happens” seems to be the general view. Well let me help with some honest opinions.

One. None of the private colleges really cares about your life more than you, and please understand that education in its present form is a business. Once the fee is paid and the lectures delivered, maybe a few concerned teachers and staff would sympathize with your situation, but nobody is going to cry if you do not make it.

Two. The world out there (read corporate), is smart enough to understand who to choose and they have ways to do that. If you have spent time at Shenshahi getting drunk in the day confusing it for a study of ‘outdoor tourism’ …well, somebody will know.

Three. You can’t change your college, teachers, the curriculum, the world out there, me writing this article and sounding preachy. What you can definitely do; is to take a close look at yourself and decide how much would you pay yourself after the 3-4 years and some lacks spent. I’d say very little.

Here’s what I suggest to anybody who’s ready to listen.

Get a reality check.

If you are at the top of the class and have a few offers in hand…wow, let’s do ‘cheers’ to that and pour me some more. If however there is a chance that the ‘placement season’ at college may not be all that ‘sunny’ for you…Dude, get a life. The life that you deserve as a young person.

And maybe in a few years when you visit Shensahi again, you and I can have ‘Hathi Bhai’s special sweet chai’, and you can pay the bill. I promise, you’ll be able to afford that and much more.

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

An open letter to ‘MC’ and the CM

2010-09-24T18:23:00.002+05:30

Letter 1

To MC (Mr. Chaudhary).

Dear Mr. Chaudhary (MC),

I understand you moved to DehraDun within the last decade from our neighbouring towns like Muzzafarnagar, Roorkee, Meerut, Saharanpur, Yamunanagar etc.; and found this town to be both peaceful and lucrative. I also understand that you had substantial agricultural income that you used; to buy land and commercial properties in DehraDun at prices that no local could afford. I am sure your 130 KG body and 6 feet; well built frame ,has also come in handy , while bidding for liquor licences, government contracts, and genrally to keep the typical 72 KG and 5 feet 7 inches ‘local’ away from where you think , he should keep away. The point is…today, you and your sons, nephews and cousins are all over our once quite town, driving bigger and meaner cars, getting into brawls with people on the road and generally making a “Muzzafarnagar” out of Doon. I also understand voilent and rude behaviour comes naturally to you. I understand.

I also understand that I can’t do too much about the ‘Muzzafarnagar- ization’ of my town because our country allows free movement and speech to all its citizens. Including you. I am sad, but I understand.

Wishing you away,

A pained citizen of DehraDun.

Letter 2

To the Chief Minister of Uttarakhand.

Dear CM Saab,

I understand that the next elections are only a year and a half (or so) away. I understand that you are both a concerned citizen and a local of our state. I also understand from your pictures on all the government hoardings across town that everything that happens in Uttarakhand; is done by you. Or it at least seems so.

Because ; finally the beuraucracy , the police , your own party people and a lot of other citizens look up to you for leadership and guidance, may I suggest a few items to be included in your to do list.

Empower the law and order machinery. The ‘sipahi’ on the road. Today the entire town is making a mockery of them, because everybody can get away with it. Because; you let it happen.
This state has more tourism potential than a lot of states combined. Tourists come and spend money, where thay find natural beauty preserved. Some of our tourist spots resemble garbage and concrete dumps. They are like that; because you let it happen.
Most young people still have to leave Doon for education and employment. This means they will spend their money and life away from this state. Which means that the benefit of their productivity will be lost to us. This happens because…

The point is, there’s still time. A year and a half (or so).

Wishing you’ll get the drift,

An aware and ‘voting’ citizen of the state.

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

Sundays Around Doon – Don’t Do This

2010-09-24T17:24:00.000+05:30

You, me and Rohit, Sanjay, Neeta, Gayatri and everybody else is talking about it. Yes, we are all talking about one thing; the devastation that rains have caused all around us. There is not a single river or stream or even ‘nallah’ that hasn’t seen glorious days return, what with flooding to the extreme. Even the dry, forlorn Bindal and Rispana have returned to their ‘youth’, and in doing so have caused extensive damage to those who thought these rivers! were dead and went ahead building their houses on it.

And then, there is a not a single road that’s left untouched. Sounds sinister, but it’s just as if someone has mutilated my beautiful valley, and has left it with pock-marks and gashes all over. “Kisi ki nazar lag gayi hai meri ghati ko “ I sincerely tried, but my heart just could not bear the thought of roaming around and merry-making on Sunday, while my beautiful valley cries all around with wounds.

So here’s the deal. This week let’s not talk about getting away during the weekend. Let’s talk about what not to do on a weekend. Here are some starters that I thought of. Add to the list if you have more ideas. Here they are:

1. Many of us love to sip a late Sunday morning tea, and plan their outings. The planning continues over to the second cup of tea, and different opinions later, it’s already lunch time when they finally decide to go out. So, the morale of the story is – plan early, plan on a Friday evening or Saturday, and chalk out the nitty-gritty’s, to avoid confusion later on.

2. And then there are those of us who are into heavy partying. Partying of course, is incomplete unless it’s done on Saturdays. A vibrant, healthy Saturday party goes on till 2-3a.m. Yes, and you thought it ends at 11 p.m.? That my dear is when the last movie show ends. So after hitting the bed (or wherever) at 3 a.m. the spirits do not rise again till late next morning, and the Sunday trip has all but melted in air. So, if you have a plan to go out on Sunday, avoid the Saturday partying. Or (having trouble to decide) avoid the Sunday trip. Period.

3. A typical group among us is of those who love to go out. All is well until they would love to gather all their relatives and friends together. So Sunil and Nisha and their kids are invited. Masi ji and her family are also coming. Rishi and Kanika would join after they have left the kids at in-laws. Mohit has a morning appointment (can’t avoid it, yaar) so he will join by noon. And Ajay will pick up bua ji and her family in his big car. And they will all meet up at Astley Hall and go from there. The only people who end up enjoying are the kids who get treated to Burgers and Ice creams and Pizzas while Bua ji and gang is on the way, Rishi and Kanika are caught in the jam and Sunil and Nisha are just leaving the house! Keep the numbers small and you will enjoy longer.

4. And there are those who just don’t plan their Sundays. Do you know why? Because they don’t like to go out anywhere. They will be sighted outdoors, like that rare sighting of Neptune near the Pluto, that happens once in a millennia. I hope God will sincerely try to repair the genes of these people and let them know what all they are missing by not going out and having a blast. I mean, who doesn’t go out and enjoy? Are you one of those types?

5. And I’m not talking about those of us who are caught up in the game of – “Rohit wants to go see the Buddha temple”. “No, let’s go to Dakpathar, it’s so lovely”. “No, the roads are so bad, let’s catch up the afternoon show of ‘Dabang’, I can’t wait to see Munni”. “Offoh, tum bhi na, bas ham Mama ji ke ghar ja rahe hain. Pata hai, Tinky aayi hai Canada se, mere liye pata nahi kya kya laayi hai”.

Got more ideas? Do let me know.

Him Ahuja is an avid traveler and runs a travel blog named http://allhimalaya.com

LET'S GET 'SPORTY'!

2010-09-24T17:21:00.001+05:30

It's time to reverse the trends and take matters into our own hands (as well as the remote controls!) It's time to put the children back in the playgrounds, hand them over to fun and adventure, and let us quit worrying and pressurizing too much! We've all suffered scraped knees, stubbed toes, and playgound rivalry in childhood, and none of us are the worse for it! If truth be told, we have learned invaluable life-lessons through these experiences, and we need to allow our children to learn from their own. Not letting them have these experiences through over-protecting and worry is just going to deprive them of necessary life-skills. What can we do to achieve this?

Neighbourhood parks can be made more sports-friendly by active follow-ups with government officials. Schools usually have space and sports facilities, so school authorities can be approached to let children use their facilities in the evenings. In societies, we can assign an area, chip in and buy a T.T. table, put up badminton nets, basketball hoops, etc. Skipping ropes, hoola hoops, roller-skates, skateboards, swing sets, etc. can be bought and children can have free access to them. Take the initiative and mobilize other children and their parents in these efforts. Talk to the local sports club about offering their facilites at a reduced rate for group registrations. It is not necessary that children only need vast open fields to play, even a backyard jungle gym, rock-climbing wall, or a cycling or running track around the block is enough for them to enjoy or exercise. Even a simple neighbourhood tree can be good to climb! These simple solutions need initial hard work, but the long-term benefits are many.

TV, computer, X-Box, Playstations, etc. HAVE to take a backseat! I will reiterate here that as parents, we should take back the control on these issues. It's not going to be an easy job, but can be done through discipline and sacrifice. Disciplining your children means setting rules in place, allotting time for homework, sports and other chores.TV viewing or computer games should be only for a limited amount of time, if necessary. Sacrifice means giving up these activities yourself so you can set good examples for your children, and be more involved parents!

How can we get children interested in sports? First, let them play just to have a good time. For them, it's not about winning or losing, it's just about 'fun'. Let the child choose his/her own sport/game. So if you've always dreamed of being a cricketer, and your son chooses basketball, just be happy for him and 'get over it'! Children who excel at sports are usually the ones who have a passion for it. Some children prefer solitary sports like tennis, swimming, martial arts, track and field, gymnastics, etc., while others prefer team sports like football, cricket, basketball, etc. If the children are training for any sport, find out if the coach not only knows the game well, but can treat the participants with positive encouragement, because the coach influences not only the child's game, but also his attitude.

As parents, we should also get the right 'sports attitude'. We need to question ourselves whether our children are playing sports to validate our self-worth and goals, do they have to become 'stars', or do we just want them to enjoy themselves and achieve their own potential? We also have to take the pressure off, give them a healthy view of competition and success. Competitive frenzy affects parents more than children! Dilip Vengsarkar once said, “I did not have to prove myself. That is exactly why I proved myself”. Have realistic expectations according to your child's capabilities and not according to what others are doing. Not every child can be a prodigy. In fact, only 3% of children who play competitive sports will ever reach elite levels, but 100% of them can be allowed to enjoy sports! If the child wants to make sports his sole focus, even if he is not a star performer, just 'let be', as he is playing for his dreams, not yours.

While they play, always applaud their efforts. I don't mean false praise, but focus on something they do well, like a good shot or catch. Also appreciate the efforts of the other children playing with or against your child. This encourages them to appreciate the ability in others, and learn to lose gracefully. Help them to handle defeat and disappointment by instilling in them that winning or losing is not as important as always giving your best. Teach them to make personal goals rather than competitive ones. Also get 'sporty' with your kids. Fly a kite together, learn how to skate, go rock-climbing or trekking with them, teach them the moves of your favourite sport(s), make a treasure-map and go on a 'treasure hunt'! Children love it when their Mom and Dad play with them, we can be their 'cool' parents, and playing sports with our children is guaranteed to take the 'years' off!

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

I swear, I ‘swear’! @#$%&%$#@!!!

2010-09-17T09:52:00.002+05:30

DehraDun in the 70s (as I remember) in terms of its demographics; was divided into:

(1) Old Money, Rajpur Road/Dalanwala , Premier Padmini, English Accent, Bania/Punjabi/Anglo/Garhwali, Children at Doon/Welham, cousins at London.
(2) New Money, Race Course, Second Hand Premier Padmini, Punjabi Accent, Sikh/Punjabi/Bania, Children at ‘wherever we could pay and get in’, cousins in Canada.
(3) No Money, Pultan Bazaar/Moti Bazaar/Machi Bazaar, Third Hand ‘Vijay Super’ Scooter, mixed and unidentifiable accents , children at Mission School/Gandhi School/Sadhu Ram School (or any school with fees less than 7 Rs. a month), cousins at Patel Nagar /Prem Nagar/ Surnimal Bazaar.

Get the drift?

I proudly belonged to category 3 above.

Our family (I hear) was well to do before partition, somewhere in North West Frontier Province. That’s what we were told…but who knows? For all I know; my ancestors may be making up stories about their wealth back in “Mianwali” (now in Pakistan). I for one, never really saw any sign of either wealth, or people who were once wealthy.This could be judged by the frequency and choice of swear words used by the categories described above.

Category 1, frowned at the use of any form of abusive language and believed that all men are gents , and all women ladies… Ya, Ya!
Category 2, permitted only a few words, and that too; when one is at least a kilometer away from the ‘Gurudwara’ or out of audible ranges of the pictures of the Sikh gurus that adorned all shops and houses.

Category 3 (My set), was the most creative. I mean in the ‘swearing’ section. By the time a kid was 6, all the basic swear words, including names of choicest animals became part of a kid’s vocabulary. The preferred languages being Hindi and Punjabi. Kids of 13-14 were considered mature in the ‘swearing’ section and were expected to come up with their own creative phrases. The use and abuse of close relatives, body parts and references to lower castes were mandatory to be considered part of the ‘pack’. What fun! And what a shame…banned for a few
unfortunate ones like us.

You see, we went to the wrenched “English” schools on Rajpur Road, and had to pretend to be part of category 1 above. That was the way ‘good boys and girls’ behaved. How I missed being able to call the ‘bully of the mohalla’ anything other than by his first name. 12 years of missionary education, followed by 3 years of hospitality training, followed by 16 years of MNCs made me a completely useless man. Born a category 3, behaving like a category 1…how ridiculous.

This till I had a revelation some months ago. I swore loudly at a biker , who had cut me off. I swore in Hindi followed by Punjabi and English. The biker didn’t hear any of it …but I did. Heard it and felt it… The sudden rush of energy in the body. The ability to blow your fuse when you want and not bottle up. The ability to be creative about chopping somebody to the ground in your mind. What a wonderful art , and how ignorant have I been.

“No more” I said! No more pretence! I was born a category 3…My dad is a category 3, so are all my cousins, irrespective of their current financial positions…and belive me…we are a proud bunch.

And since that fateful day, I realized how a category 3 blood needs category 3 attitudes. No more the Category 1 gentleman, who would stare at you if you cut him off on the road. Oh come on, No Sir…try anything with me now and you will know I can swear …and I ‘swear’ too that. @#$%&!@#$.

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

NO MORE FOR THE LOVE OF IT!

2010-09-17T09:51:00.000+05:30

Are those days past when sports and games were just played for the fun, adventure and excitement, when there were no strings (career, fame and money) attached? When all that mattered was being one with the sport at that moment, the rush of energy and adrenaline, the simple pleasures in jumping a little higher, or stretching a little longer and hitting a little stronger and better, the hours of being with friends, sometimes strangers, learning to cope with the dynamics and politics, the sense of purpose mixed with the joy of achievement. When the hours spent on the field did not have to justified with better performance, trophies or certificates. When losing and winning were secondary to the pure fun and thrill of the game itself. Were we not just a bunch of kids doing what we loved to do.....play? Do our children play spend even a tenth of the time we spent playing games and sports, and even if they do, do they now play them for the same reasons?

There is a steady decline in active play. There is less free time, increased academic pressure, and the TVs, computers and playstations have become the primary source of entertainment! They have moved a whole generation from outdoors to indoors (and I don't only mean the children!), cutting them off from any physical activities. Big companies have to sell products, and most of this generation feels obliged to watch their advertisements and help them achieve their sales targets! Lack of space has also become a huge problem, and children mostly remain cooped up in isolated houses or cramped colonies and flats, with little or no space to play. Housing societies do not prioritize children's playgrounds, instead they believe in gymnasiums and clubhouses for adults! Small neighbourhood parks, with walking or cycling tracks have been 'eaten up' by big malls and commercial complexes. Even if there is a small park nearby, safety concerns make them unusable, as they are not provided with security, and parents do not allow their children to play outdoors unsupervised.

Schools in India also do not emphasize on sports these days (it was not so in our school and college-days). The focus is now completely on academic performance, school exams and preparation for competitive exams. Academic excellence has become the only parameter of achievement or success, other activities like sports, music, art, etc. have all been sidelined for study-related activities. Students are allotted a measly half an hour to an hour of PE time per week, and that too is never utilized for sports properly. Some schools have huge playgrounds which are not put to much use at all, while others have no playgrounds at all. Either way, the message is clear, excelling in academics is all that is required of a 'good student'. Overall development is no more a criterion. We are a 'cerebral' nation now, and even the policy-making and bureaucratic system has ignored sports to a great extent.

Another reason, I feel, is that sports have become too 'organized'. The element of 'free play' or unstructured sports is fast being replaced by ideas of trying to 'manage' sports, laying stress on perfection and competition. From time immemorial, children have enjoyed sports as a spontaneous activity, minus adult involvement. Too much structure is now leading to quick burn-out and boredom. Burn-out is the quitting/dropping of any activity that was at one time enjoyable. With excessive structure, and year-round tournaments and matches, sports fatigue sets in. Constant criticism from coaches, parents and teammates leads to anxiety and stress, and consequently burnout. The demands of parents from their children sometimes exceeds their physical and cognitive devlopment, leading to feelings of inadequacy, frustration and depression. Aggression, anti-social behaviour and even suicidal tendencies become evident in children. Children begin playing for their parents, and the fun and spirit of adventure goes missing. The stakes become too high and the business models are hard for kids to understand. Boredom and rejection comes fast. There are organized sports programmes even for 3 and 4-year olds! More than two-thirds of children quit organized sports by thirteen, which is actually the age they can do something worthwhile.

All parents want 'gifted' children, just being good at something is not enough! There is a set of parents who stress too much on academics, proficiency in maths, science and language skills becomes paramount, while there is the other set of well-meaning parents who push their children into sports to excel. The expectations from them are phenomenal, as these parents are using sports the same way the other set of parents use academics – as springboards for careers and financial security. Some parents actually push their children too much, wanting to live their own dreams vicariously through them, to experience success through their children. Others use it to validate their own worth as parents, to prove to the world how much they sacrifice or forsake for the sake of their children's sports schedules or future careers! Either way, this trend is very harmful for the children. It robs them of their childhood, simple enjoyment, social development, and true sense of sportsmanship. A sad state of affairs indeed! If what you've just read has made you think, let's look for solutions next time. Till then!

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

Sundays Around Doon - Conspiracy

2010-09-11T13:09:00.001+05:30

It sounds like there is a big conspiracy going on to keep the Doonites away from their weekend outings. You see, I can’t find any other explanation for the incessant torrential rains that have been mysteriously hounding us for two months now. This hasn’t happened to ‘us’ in the last 15 years atleast. And I’m certain we haven’t done anything to invoke the ‘fury’; I mean, we are all innocent of the trees that have been cut in the valley for the last 15 years, and the big mansions we have made reducing the ground water table, and the way we have inhabited the river-sides, and river beds. After all, it’s our valley and would we do this to ‘our’ valley? Never!

I am definite that there is a ‘deep conspiracy’ behind all this hatched by ‘vested interests’ and ‘big powers to-be’ who obviously are jealous of our so popular and pleasurable weekend trips. If we inquire deep, we might find that it could be the work of the road-side sellers whose Sunday earnings have been going down with half the Dehradun disappearing on Sundays. On the other hand, weekend earnings of Petrol Pump Owners have been shooting up. This conflict of interests seems very ominous.

But we can’t let these ‘conspiracies’ ruin our weekends, can we? The ‘never-say-die’ spirits of the Doonites have to be recalled at these times, and weekend pleasures have to be maintained at all costs. So what, if we are unable to go on long weekend rides and trips. Let’s not forget that the ultimate pleasure of a rainy day is in sipping hot ‘tulsi’ tea with ‘garam pakoras’ and admiring the Mussoorie from our verandahs. After all, that’s why we made such big decorative verandahs, didn’t we?

Talking of pakoras, on such occasions and rainy seasons, Doonites have always been visiting the famous ‘Sardar ji ke pakore’ at Rajpur for generations. They used to trudge on bicycles, scoot on Lamberattas, and zoom on their Fiats with window curtains. Nowadays, we just key start our bikes and gearless Honda Citys and still go there to enjoy the ‘Sardar ji ke pakore’.

Those who don’t like ‘pakoras’ and those who have substituted their pleasure of ‘pakoras’ with ‘momos’ head over religiously to different “food shrines” – to ‘auntyji ke momo’ near Clock Tower, to ‘momo factory’ in Garhi cantt, and to Clement Town for the authentic taste.

And those who are too lazy to drive ‘that’ long or need more appetizing delights head over to ‘Chetan ki poori’ at Hanuman Chowk, or to the famous ‘Sonu ke katlame- chhole’ at Moti Bazar. But these are all morning pleasures. Let’s not forget those who come evening, rush to ‘Tara machhi wala’ at Clock Tower and ‘Maheshi ke kababs’ at Dilaram and ‘Bhatia ji ka mutton’ at Premnagar. And remember, this is just the snacks we are talking about. And then they think they can ruin our pleasures, eh!

Down with the conspiracies! Up with the ‘momos’, ‘pakoras’ or …whatever! haha!

Him Ahuja is an avid traveler and runs a travel blog named http://allhimalaya.com

THE IMPORTANCE OF SPORTS

2010-09-11T13:07:00.000+05:30

There was complete silence on the playground. It was the nail-biting finale of the 'Kabaddi' match and I was a part of the team of one of the Houses. The entire student body was supporting either of the two House teams. All around me I could see a sea of faces, anxious, excited, there was whispering, amidst a lot of nervous tension in the air. We players were full of confidence and bravado on the outside, while each one of us was a bundle of nerves inside! It was a tough match which needed a lot of grit, stamina and determination from us. We had to focus on not losing our nerve, play as a team, with great coordination and focus. What began in pin-drop silence ended in a deafening roar! There were tears and laughter all around, as our team won! There were either tears of frustration or joy, but one thing stood out quite clearly, even the losing team were satisfied at a match well-played! That's what comes out of the ultimate moments in all sports. In that moment, winning or losing takes a backseat, only the satisfaction of playing the game remains!

Despite being a very skinny and not-so-tough kid, I participated in as many sports and games that I could possibly manage or could actually play! I had to prove to myself and my teasing classmates and friends, that my weak exterior had a tough interior! And in that process, I learned some of the most invaluable lessons in life – I now see that those endless hours on the field, that never-say-die philosophy has stood me in good stead when real life came along with real problems! It enhanced my decision-making, concentration, ability to focus completely on the task at hand, taking criticism and rejection well, holding my own when surrounded by the 'bigger and better'! Even physically, I became tougher and stronger with athletics, learned quick reflexes and dexterity through badminton and table-tennis, learned to stretch myself beyond my pre-conceived limits in gymnastics, broke the gender biases in football, and so on! I will never forget the day when I decided to run the marathon which took us around our town, and eventually when I reached the school grounds, I saw that everyone else had finished a long time ago and I was the last, but I did not give up, and to the cheers of the entire school egging me on, I finished the final round! I stood last, but I was as proud as I would have been to win that race, because I had run the race knowing full well that it was beyond my physical capacity, but nonetheless I wanted to attempt to make it possible and win a few points for my House as well!

I am revealing so much (even the embarassing stuff!) about myself, to make the point that playing sports can be a total character-building experience. All that we learn within the boundaries of the classroom, can be put into practice on the playfield, and studies and sports together can really create a well-rounded (pun intended!) individual. Sports participation can bring about an appreciation of health and fitness, develop positive self-image, teach us to be team-players, develop social skills like taking turns and sharing, teach how to manage both success and disappointment, teach how to respect others' capabilities and talents, and all this while having fun! I have witnessed that sports builds character, teaches honesty, integrity and fair-play, discipline and sacrifice, hard work and perseverance, problem solving and communication skills, commitment and dedication towards a cause, all in all, a defence academy training and a MBA degree, rolled into one! And what experts have noted is that all these skills are also transferable beyond the sporting context, and can be put to good use in all kinds of domestic, corporate, workplace situations, and at any level of responsibility.

The reason for this article is my growing worry about the sports situation these days. If you would take a reality check right now, and think about how long your child/children spend playing sports (structured or unstructured) every day? Is it two hours or more, one hour or less, less than half an hour, an hour or two on weekends, or no sports activity whatsoever? Your answer will bring to light the condition of most kids today! If your answer is 'yes' to the first one, you are definitely one of the rare parent-child teams!

It is a fact that most children take to sports and games like a duck to water, so why is there such a great lacuna, a whole generation being kept away, being deprived of the benefits and value of sports? For centuries, sports have been used for enjoyment, physical activity and fitness. Why then this sudden decline of interest? The causes are numerous, but we will only go into that next week. I am convinced the answers lie with us. Meanwhile, do send me your own sports stories and experiences, and those of your children as well. Till then!

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

THIN IS 'IN'!

2010-09-04T10:21:00.000+05:30

Long back, I happened to watch a Hollywood movie on college life. It showed some girls, very popular - the 'in' set, who everyone wanted to be like. It was a classic movie about peer pressure and acceptance, based on how your worth was measured by your good looks. A lot of movies are based on these issues but somehow the message gets lost in the visual extravaganza of beautiful bodies and faces, the revelry of teen life, and the burning need of the teenagers watching these movies to be like one of those on celluloid, despite the 'bad' consequences these characters end up facing! One thing that really stayed with me was that the most popular girl was secretly 'bulimic'. That was the first I ever heard of this condition. I also remember watching something else on 'anorexia'. These issues really haunted me for a long time and I wanted to know more on the subject. Soon I understood that these were serious mental diseases and a bane of our modern society.

'Bulimia Nervosa' and 'Anorexia Nervosa', as the names suggest, are disorders of the brain and nervous system. According to medical research, dieting, over-exercising and binge-eating satisfy all the clinical and biological criteria for addictions like smoking, drinking or drug abuse! In Anorexia, the person displays a tendency to starve oneself and has a decreasing interest in food, while in Bulimia, the person has increasing difficulty in resisting food and becomes a compulsive eater, who binges on food, and then uses laxatives, diuretics, enemas, self-induced vomitting, or excessive exercises to stay slim. Anorexia, apparently, has the most severe consequence with a mortality rate higher than that of almost all other mental disorders! It usually begins with a perfectly normal weight-reducing diet, the person loses weight, eats less and less until she is almost skin and bones. It affects young people of both sexes, although ninety percent are females from well-off homes.

Think about a Barbie doll. What is the mental image you get? The first thing you think of is an almost non-existent waist and bottom, and a thin and curvaceous figure! And this is what our children, especially girls, grow up with. Then all they watch on TV and celluloid are extremely thin people with beautiful faces. They are not obviously aware of all the contributions of the medical scalpel behind these beautiful bodies and faces! And even if they are, they get the message that anything is justified to get that kind of body or face, even surgery, excessive dieting or exercise. Everywhere they look around them, they are faced with unrealistic expectations of beauty or handsomeness, so it's inevitable that most of them find themselves falling short! God has not created everyone to look the same, but everyone wants to fit into a certain image of beauty. Apparels, cosmetics, automobiles, food, beverages, appliances, you name it, and you will find beautiful bodies selling these things! The impact of these visuals, day and night on the minds of children, even adults, is mind-boggling! If that is not enough, there is more available in the gossip magazines, cinema and sports celebrities to emulate. They spend hours every day in front of the mirror, preening themselves, checking their clothes, hairstyles, bodily attributes, their complexion, everything is under a microscope! And I've personally experienced the trend that most parents tend to pass it off as a 'passing phase'. But the reality is that many adolescents fall prey to this, and the worst is, the parents are the last to know about it. In my own experience, I have seen many a young child refuse even a normal amount of food, for fear of “putting on weight”! Parents have no time these days to watch out for these harmful tendencies in their children, as they are too busy. Staying fit and eating healthy should never be equated to over-exercising or eating less.

All this is leading to a huge identity crisis. Children suffer from low self-image. Children in the West spend a lot of time and money on skin darkening, whereas their 'darker' counterparts in Eastern countries spend the same on getting a 'fair' complexion! Boys want to look taller and muscular, girls want to look thin and petite. This altering and adjusting of their bodies is done to gain recognition and acceptance from the opposite sex, their peer group, as also to measure up to the body images promoted by today's media. Behavioural scientists consider these diseases to be family ones rather than individual ones. That is why it has been noticed that family therapy has proven to be the best cure for anorexics. They are able to develop a healthier identity and gain more individuality.

In today's context, there is only so much we can do to control what our children watch, who they meet, what they look up to, etc. The only thing we can give them is the right kind of guidance, help them to be level-headed and balanced enough to withstand peer pressure, and we can stay involved enough in their lives for them to be aware of our attention and unconditional love. There is no substitute for any of these.

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

The 5 Tibetans

2010-09-04T10:14:00.001+05:30

The Five Tibetans, is a series of postures, asanas if you please, much like the Surya Namaskar that when performed in the set sequence, lead to immense benefits - some have called it the ‘fountain of youth’, others tell of old men who inexplicably became healthy, strong, and full of "vigor and virility" after entering a particular lamasery where this system was followed.
Reported to be more than 2500 years old, this system was apparently introduced to the world at large by Peter Kelder in 1939, who himself learnt of it from a retired British Army colonel.
The first of the five Tibetans, is based on the principle of the cork screw. Raise your arms to your side, at shoulder level, arms parallel to the ground. The left palm faces upwards towards the ceiling, the right one faces down towards the ground. Now, slowly, very slowly, with your eyes closed, rotate in the direction of your right hand. If you were to look at this posture from the ceiling, it would resemble the functioning of a cork screw, with the practitioner drawing in the cosmic energy. 7 cycles should be enough to begin with. Gradually, over a period of say a few months, increase to 21.

For the second rite, kneel down, facing east, with your hands on your bum. Start with you chin touching your chest, as low down as possible, and while breathing in raise your chin so it point to the ceiling, and keep going back till you can take you body weight is on your hands. 7 cycles again to begin with, going up to 21 with time.

The third one is quite similar to the boat pose or the nauka asan. Lie down, head pointing east, with arms on your side. Now using your stomach muscles, raise your upper body and the feet up to the same level, a bit like the letter ‘V’. Stay for a few seconds in this position, then slowly go down to lying down position. 7 cycles or as many as you can manage.

For the fourth rite, sit on your bum, soles of the feet flat on the ground, hands on the floor behind you. From here, as you breathe in raise your body up so it is parallel to the ground, head thrown back all way so you can look at the wall behind you. This posture should resemble a table, with your stomach forming the table top. Come down slowly as you breathe out. 7 cycles or as many as you can manage.

The fifth one starts with the mountain pose. All your weight on your hands and feet, head down, as close as possible to the knees. Move smoothly from this up-dog to the cobra pose or the bhujang asan - hips close to the ground, chin pointing towards the ceiling. The caveat is to not let your body touch the ground, so all your weight is on your hands and toes. Breathe in while going into cobra pose and breathe out while going into mountain pose.

According to Kelder, the colonel’s stay in the lamasery transformed him from a stooped, old gentleman with a cane to a tall and straight young man in the prime of his life. Discounting for exaggerations, I think we can atleast expect from a regular practice is increased energy, stress reduction, and an enhanced sense of calm, clarity of thought, increased strength and flexibility, and an overall improvement in health and well-being.

Ajay Mehta is a print designer, an Advanced Pranic Healer and a ‘spiritual’ seeker. He can be reached at ajaxmehta@gmail.com

Vote for Tinku

2010-09-04T10:04:00.001+05:30

Tyagi Saab lives on EC Road. He’s lived there for 40 years and has developed a deep and lasting friendship with his house painter that goes beyond mere transactional relationships. He has a very good reason to do so.

Every year after the monsoons his boundary wall needs a rub-off, scaling and a fresh coat. Not because last year’s paint is worn off, but because he can hardly see the paint anymore. His entire wall; post the monsoons is covered with posters. Posters that say ‘Vote for Tinku for President’. ‘Tinku’ in the last sentence is just a fictional place holder and can be easily replaced by Dabbu, Shabbu, Nikku, Pappu, Pinto, Munna, Kaku, and Rocky. All probable candidates for the coveted college election posts and aspiring future politicians.

Just for kicks, I decided to monitor one of the rallies that started around Rajpur Road and ended at the college. The objective… to observe and examine how hundreds of young people, with one objective and goal are brought together. Maybe this way, we may find some answers to our country’s leadership needs.

At the Nanny’s Bakery cross-roads, a few from the pack broke off to get their nicotine. I walked up to them, hoping to strike a conversation, which happened effortlessly. I came straight to the point. “So why do you support Tinku? What are his plans if he wins? Has he shared his vision; about the efforts he will make, to improve the college and its functioning on being elected?” I stated the rapid fire. “Sure” the largest built of the pack answered. “He is very smart. He is also our friend. We trust him. He is the best of the candidates. Vote for Tinku. Vote for Tinku”

“I trust your judgment.” I interjected. “But I guess I should have explained the question better…what I meant was, do you really know what you want for the college and hence have decided to support the one that aligns with your vision?” I continued, hoping to have driven the point home and looking intently in their direction for a ray of light.

This time the pan-masala chewing, smaller built but sharp eyed boy replied in a tone that clearly indicated his intellectual superiority…“ You see…This is not that simple. It takes an acute understanding of human nature to select a candidate. We are supporting him because he understands us. He is very smart. He is also our friend. We trust him. He is the best of the candidates. Vote for Tinku. Vote for Tinku.”

I didn’t even attempt to extend the conversation further and walked towards Tyagi Saab’s house hoping for a cup of ‘tea without sugar’.

Tyagi Saab heard my episode without any reaction whilst stirring the tea. When I insisted that he shares his older and mature opinion about the episode all he said was “Vineet, isn’t this exactly how we choose leaders? Do you know why you vote for one party and not the other? Do you know enough about the candidate before the elections? We vote for friends. We trust them. We believe they are the best. So shut up and have your tea. I have better things to worry about… like taking posters off my walls.”

The tea was really nice. I wouldn’t be vising Tyagi Saab for some time now. Vote for Tinku.

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

Fatso is funny?

2010-08-30T12:19:00.000+05:30

If you take a look around you, signs of the soaring childhood obesity epidemic are everywhere. Beyond the physical hazards of carrying extra weight, parents need to understand that social and emotional problems and concerns, more often than not, underlie these conditions. These issues may include:
Depressive symptoms - Overweight children may experience overwhelming feelings of hopelessness leading to depression. This may include a decreased interest in normal activities, excessive crying, and an increase in sleeping, etc. Out of control feelings and behaviors can spread to areas beyond food and eating. The child may have turned to food to somehow affect or camouflage feelings and emotions. Even the 'happy fat kid' who clowns around is probably using his image to hide a lot of pain and insecurity.
Low self-concept and bullying - Today's society places a high premium on on looking good, which means being 'thin', so children who are overweight tend to become victims of poor self esteem and a negative body image. They may get bullied and may, in turn, become bullies as they struggle with a lack of self-confidence and lower self-concept.
Social struggles with peers - Teasing from peers and difficulties in the classroom may lead to behavioral problems and school-related anxiety. Physical size and shape during this period can affect friendships. Obese children get picked on and are victims of name-calling like 'motu', fatso', potato', etc. This makes them want to avoid school or playground situations, but this lack of positive social interactions can lead to learning problems, preventing the overweight child from meeting his or her full potential.
We all need to learn how to support and motivate our children to be healthy, particularly when emotional issues are instrumental in your child’s becoming overweight, the emotional arena would be the first place to seek solutions and bring about change:
It is for parents to step in to encourage their child to recognize, define and resolve underlying emotional issues that may be driving the dysfunctional behaviors in an effort to resolve problems at their source. Teach your children appropriate ways to express their emotions. Encourage them to talk about their feelings and not to internalize their emotions. It is important to teach them 'feeling words' early to encourage verbal expression. Non-verbal emotional outlets might include drawing, role play with toys, and any time-out with physical exercise.
It is for parents to supply healthful meals regularly for the child, and then to sit down to eat these meals together with the child, listening to thoughts and feelings, at the same time as observing eating behaviors. If you notice emotional eating, confront your child and discuss healthy alternatives for meeting the underlying need.
The overweight child needs encouragement to turn off the television, put down the computer game and go outside to play, to ride his bike, walk the dog, etc. He should not be allowed to eat in front of the television, but to sit down at the table to eat with a plate in front of him.
Parents should engage in activities, sports, and healthful exercise with their child. You could go for a bike ride together, take tennis lessons, or walk to the library rather than drive. Encourage family walks every evening as a way to share stories with your family, walk the dog, and get a low-impact workout. Your children can hop on their bicycles, scooters, or skateboards and ride alongside while you walk. If you spend an hour playing outside with your kids each day, physical activity will become a consistent part of your daily routine.
Positive parental attention of any type creates positive self-esteem. Obesity and a healthy self-esteem are an unlikely duo. Parents need to focus on health, not appearance, and on more activity, not less food. Praise your children and focus on their gifts and talents to build and affirm their self-concept. Help your children learn to love and accept themselves as you reflect that unconditional love toward them.
Become alert to your child’s experiencing stresses at school or with peers. Talk to your child about whether he or she has ever experienced teasing in the schoolyard and if so, discuss how he or she felt about it, and what he or she did or might do in response in the future.
Sit down with the family to create a fitness schedule. Let each family member choose an activity so everyone has something to look forward to. Trying new things will help your children discover what they're good at and what they enjoy. The fitness schedule also gives each child a chance to show off their skills by choosing an activity they excel in. Invest in low-priced, easy-to-use equipment like jump ropes, free weights, exercise balls, sports equipment and video workouts.
Work together on household chores.It's not very difficult to work up a sweat cleaning house. So why not turn up the stereo and dance as you mop the floor or dust the shelves? Let your kids get messy helping with gardening and yard work. Create contests to see who can clean their room fastest or whose cloth cleaned off the most dust!
Check your local newspaper or the Internet for local charity walks or races, or simply a cycling or sports club in your town.
Busy schedules make it difficult to prioritize the things that are most important to us. Your health and the health of your loved ones is the single most significant part of life. By limiting your own TV, video game, and computer use and making time for exercise each day, your children will have a concrete example of how physical activity can be incorporated into a busy lifestyle. With a small investment of time and money, there are dozens of ways to find time to stay in shape - together.

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

Tintin in DehraDun. The new adventure. Fiction.

2010-08-30T11:58:00.003+05:30

Tintin and Snowy arrived at the railway station. They had always heard of this quite, polite town, inhabited by courteous and well mannered folks. The place in India for Tintin fans and much needed rest.

To receive the world famous reporter was the local administration, headed by the Mayor of Doon. The Mayor was of course overjoyed. He will be showing Tintin around, and also giving our favorite reporter the details of the many things we are doing to make our city more adventure prone.

A car for Tintin is parked right outside the station porch, with a red beacon flashing. “Am I a state guest?” asks Tintin. “No, No,” replies the Mayor, “pointing at all the other white cars with Red or Blue beacons, “you see, this is the capital of our state, Uttrakhand…we have to make sure that people know we are at the seat of our government.” Tintin started reading the little red boards in front of the cars aloud:

Manager, Gandhi Park Morning Walkers Association.
Chief Warden, Bushes and Hedges Club.
Secretary, Sulabh Shauchalya , Rajpur Road Branch.
Chief, Adventures of Tintin.

Tintin quickly got into the last car; that he was sure was for him, but didn’t like when the driver switched the sirens on. “Is this what most people do here Sir?” Tintin asked the driver. “Yes Sir, Tintin Sir,…you see nobody really stops you if you’re in a large white car, with a red or blue light on top ; and a red plate in front saying that you’re important. So everybody puts a red board saying whatever they do” Tintin noticed another board that said ‘Brother and Principal, High Class School’. He knew immediate…this city is special.

The car left the station and picked speed. “And what is that long structure” Tintin continued peeping out of the window as the car sped on. “Oh that! That sir is called Ghanta Ghar. We don’t really need it now. The British wanted us to be punctual so they built one for the city. Now we just look at our mobile phones for time.” “It’s a nice looking piece of architecture…does the city not preserve it?” asked Tintin pointing at the many Peepal shoots coming out of the structure and spoilt clocks. “Oh we do sir, once every 10 years, this gets painted. The elections for the local municipality are in 3 years. We still have time for repairs, and those trees growing on the structure…you see Sir, we can’t cut trees anymore in the city. Bad for the environment.” Tintin just opened his mouth a little, and then shut it; without saying anything.

This is when he suddenly heard strange sounds. Car horns, bike horns, double tone high octave horns…all at once. He was sure the driver was on the wrong side. Why would so many people suddenly get so loud on the road? By this time the driver was sure that this foreigner needed some advice. “Sir, you see, you seem to be from a different generation. This is DehraDun. We were at one time a polite and well mannered town. But that was way back sir.” Said the driver, as he continued spitting Paan outside his window.

Tintin looked at the filth on the road and finally said “Isn’t there a train leaving town in 20 minutes?”.

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

How to Raise Kids?

2010-08-25T10:15:00.001+05:30

How to raise healthy, happy and wise kids in the 21st century – the
question puzzles and the answer evades most of us! If this question
worries you, come and join the club! All concerned, sensitive,
intelligent and loving parents are welcome. The past few weeks have
been dedicated to the 'integrated development' of a child, so if
you've missed some, do catch up and then go further. This week, I'm
going to write about one of the eating disorders in children –
obesity. I have previously only touched the tip of the iceberg, but it
should suffice to send chills down the spines of parents, enough to
take cognizance of this growing ailment among our children. While the
West woke up to this malaise long ago, a lot of us in India are still
not aware of this as a serious problem.

Obesity has taken on epidemic proportions across urban India.
According to doctors at the All India Medical Sciences (AIIMS), the
death rate among children will soon shoot up to 33% percent (from the
current 9%) on account of cardio-vascular diseases caused by obesity
alone! According to a survey conducted by them on 1,100 adolescent
school-going children, about 21% boys and 22% girls were overweight
and an overall 24% qualified as obese! The children in government
schools were in better physical shape than the children in private
schools, revealing a connection between higher incomes and obesity.
The higher the income, the fatter the kids! The World Health
Organization (WHO) calls it 'globesity', since this problem is now
worldwide.

What is generally seen is that fat babies(not the regular baby fat)
grow up to become fat children, then on to fat adolescents and
eventually fat adults. The babies and small children are overfed or
given a wrong diet, a huge amount of fat cells are produced in the
body, as compared to a child whose fat cells are of normal count.
After growing up, if this same adolescent or adult goes on a diet and
loses weight, he/she thinks that the fat cells have finally gone, but
unfortunately, that is not the case. The fat cells, squeezed and
shrivelled, stay in the body. As soon as the diet is relaxed, they
become re-activated with a vengeance, and these people put on weight
faster than they lost it! That is why you hear people complaining that
they always have to stay on a diet otherwise they gain weight very
fast. This is because since childhood they have stored more fat cells
than other people.

There are many known causes of obesity - genetic, hereditary,
cultural, while others are because of a sedentary lifestyle. One main
genetic reason is the leptin gene, which is manufactured in the fat
cells, and it sends messages to the body to eat or stop eating. An
excess or lack of this gene can cause undereating or overeating. The
other reason is heredity. An individual inherits a particular body
type and a genetic inclination towards obesity manifests itself in
those people more who are more prone to environmental triggers like
stress, easy availabilty of convenience foods, a lazy lifestyle, etc.
When the genes tip the balance, some succumb easily, others less so.
According to the American Cancer Society, obesity leads to a dozen
different types of cancer!

The cultural factor has to do more with lifestyles, habits, likes and
dislikes of various races and cultures. Like I've mentioned before, in
a lot of cultures, overfeeding children is indicative of familial
love. The more the food and the richer it is, it sybolizes health and
prosperity! Haven't we all met people whose children are just
'healthy', not obese? This is just a way to turn a blind eye to the
real problem, but it does not go away, only takes on worse
proportions.

A great amount of research points to the fact that television and
computers are the menace of society today, especially among children
and are the primary causes of obesity and other health-related
problems. Parents switch on the TV to keep infants or even older
children from crying or throwing tantrums. In a lot of homes, meals
are always eaten while watching television. I've been told by a lot of
parents that their children fall asleep only to TV, and the first
thing they do when they wake up is switch it on again! They don't
'listen' and there is no other way to make them do anything, besides
letting them watch as much TV as they want! Well, most of you who are
now familiar with my thoughts, know what I have to say on the subject!
But that is a separate discussion altogether, to be talked about
later. Parents are either helpless or in despair. The 'eye-mouth'
connection is very strong, watching more TV leads to a 'zombie'-like
state and the children keep eating while watching. Fat is bound to
accumulate if the input is more than the output. Such children also
don't like to go or play outdoors and physical activities are soon
beyond their physical capacity. They are unable to burn all the excess
calories. Our bodies are better designed to deal with hunger than
fullness. When we are inactive, controlling appetite does not happen
instinctively, so it has to be self-imposed. Also the kind of
advertising about foods these days promotes only high-calorie
fast-food. Although obesity has been recognized as a serious national
problem, precious little is being done to curb advertisements endorsed
by or aimed at children. On the other hand, countries like Norway and
Sweden have placed a complete ban on such advertising. Consequently,
in these countries, the level of childhood obesity is very low, while
countries with the least regulated television laws have alarming
levels of child obesity!

All in all, a great cause for worry. Next time I will talk about the
effects of obesity on a child's health, personality and psychology, as
also the other eating disorders (anorexia and bulimia). Till then,
enough food for thought!

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

On ‘Freedom’ and Peepli

2010-08-23T16:35:00.003+05:30

I have no idea about what life was when the British ruled us. Neither do I relate very well to the concept of us as a ‘nation state’, and before you start to wonder what I mean …let me explain.

A nation is a ‘close-knit’ group of people which share a ‘common culture’. The emphasis hence is on ‘close-knit’ and ‘common culture’.

When the British left us, we started to knit together whatever they left and started to call it a nation. It is also evident that there are multiple cultures in India that are obviously not ‘close knit’. And whilst we continue to believe that we are a ‘nation state’, and sometimes use this term interchangeably for ‘county’, I think the truth is far from it. That’s one.

We went to watch ‘Peepli (Live)’ yesterday at Prabhat. It’s a short and hard hitting movie and I recommend each of you to spend on this ticket. After the show and dinner, I was much disturbed. Not because what we saw in the movie was new or surprising, but because I could relate to some of the characters and felt ashamed of our current state of affairs as a country (not a nation).

The Common wealth games haven’t even started and we are already wishing that they end soon, so we can save face as a county (not a nation).

I don’t think I have had too much to crib about in life. The right education and support available to us helped us grow in directions that made us feel privileged. The economy also opened up at the time when we could make the most of it and did. I remember a time when my Dad would compare his government salary after 35 years of work; to ours after 5, and that he got paid much less. We made our houses, bought cars, and filled our houses with stuff we needed, or thought we needed, traveled and took regular vacations. What more can we ask for?
And yet, I feel ashamed.

As a kid; I remember looking at my neighbors new car (the first Maruti model), and out of a sheer sense of envy at our family not being able to afford it…I went and made a huge scratch on it, with the sharpest stone I could find. On being questioned on my actions as a 9 year old, I couldn’t explain the behavior.

I can now. I did it because I believed; that our neighbors didn’t deserve it, or; that all of us should be able to deserve it, or, if they really did deserve it, why can’t they share it with us, or; at least they shouldn’t show it off in a way that makes everybody else feel small or worthless. I did scratch it nevertheless.

The situation in our country isn’t very different today. When we buy a liter of water for 15 bucks, we hardly realize that that is the money an average rural Indian makes a day, or; that drinking water is still a ‘pipe dream’ in most of India, or that even in an advancing state like ours, the nearest doctor is sometimes 50 Kms away, or; that most of what kids are taught at government schools will never get them a decent job.

When these people see a few of us ‘deserving’ lot living it up, not sharing, and showing off in ways that makes other people look small and worthless, would they make a huge scratch on us, with the sharpest stone they can find?

I would.

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

Discovering Doon - Sundays Around Doon

2010-08-23T16:22:00.003+05:30

Back in the days when I had a struggling career, I was trying to establish the first English newsmagazine in the region with my friends Anup, Anjali and Ajay (3aces!). It was during this process, that the town I always thought I knew like the back of my hand started opening its leaves to me. And the more I explored, the more I found, and the discovery of our beautiful valley amazed me. It was as if I was discovering a new town, unknown to me so far.

The man who was responsible for catalysing this change was the late Prem Hari Har Lal. author of “Doon Valley down the Ages”. He was not just a living encyclopaedia of Doon Valley, he was a charming conversationalist and entertainer too. It was during those coffee evenings at his house, that we came to know about our town so much. Ofcourse, his book had all of it, but to listen to him narrate was so much more fun. And much more, because he egged us to explore, telling us just half the hint, fuelling our curiosity.

How else were we to know where in the valley was an “extinct Volcano”? or what the centre of Dehradun looked like till the Forties “without a Clock Tower”? Where and when was the “First concrete Well” dug up in Dehradun? or that our Doon valley is equi-distant from both “Ganga and Yamuna”? or why is our “Clock Tower” so unique from the other clock towers? or the place where a “beer-brewery” existed during the British times in the Doon Valley? Or that much before the East Canal (EC Road) and West Canal (GMS Road), where the “Central Canal” that brought water to the Dera of Doon lay? Or the story behind the famous “sidhhs” of Doon valley – Kalu Sidh, Manak Sidh, Lakshman Sidh and Nag Sidh!!

I could go on and on, but I guess that will take all the fun out of discovering your own town. So this weekend, go out and explore your town, without an agenda, without a destination. Just explore, and wander around, and notice what’s so very unique about our town, in its small little lanes, narrow bazaars, wide fields and curvy hillocks. Who knows you might find something no one has ever found before! Atleast that’s how, standing knee deep in the marsh, near a patch of forest, we came to discover that the ‘Asan’ and ‘Suswa’ rivers sprang from the same source!

Ofcourse, you can read Prem Hari Har Lal’s book, and get to know everything. But that won’t be quarter of the fun there is in getting your rides out and wandering your weekends around the valley.

So here’s good luck to you all, and in the last, if you don’t want to wander like mad discoverers, or read up the book without any chapter index, just write to me and I’ll answer your queries. But the catch is, I will ask one question with every answer. And you better be ready to answer it. So, bon discovery!

Him Ahuja is an avid traveler and runs a travel blog named http://allhimalaya.com

Shooting from the hip

2010-04-09T19:47:00.000+05:30

A young lama, smitten by the cricket bug!

bhumesh bharti

PARENTING- THE 'GRAND' WAY

2010-04-09T19:45:00.000+05:30

Last week's topic has prompted my choice of this week's topic. I want to talk to grandparents about their role and responsibility in the bringing up of children. I do not want to sound presumptuous in trying to tell you anything, thus, the responsibility and 'behaviour' of grandparents mentioned here is just to remind and revive the wonderful relationships that grandparents have always shared with their precious grandchildren over centuries.
It is true that there is a special relationship between the 'grands'- parents and children. It is almost like a friendship between two 'equals'. There is a sharing of 'secrets'- stories of childhood and fairytales, promises of 'goodies', solutions to playground 'problems', problems with parents trying to discipline all the time, etc. This is a great 'bond', one which you can use both as an opportunity and a responsibility. An opportunity to be helpful and creative, maybe a chance to do what you missed with your own children, an opportunity to add value to the lives of others even at an older age, as also a means for your own growth. And a responsibility to be a teacher, to teach and pass on the timeless values of love, compassion, forgiveness, joy, courage, service, charity and countless others.
Parents also try to teach these age-old values, but you have a great advantage over them- of age, experience, more time on your hands, and above all, a better understanding of the child's needs and welfare. After all, it is not fair for the child to lose out on all these wonderful lessons on values and life because their parents lead such busy lives.
A lot of grandparents I come across are full of grouses about their family situation, their relationships with their children and their spouses, their biggest grouse being “nobody listens to me”. That may be the case, but you will find that almost everyone in your family has the same to say about each other! You feel that your children don't listen to you anymore, thus making you feel old and redundant. Your children feel that you act stubborn and do not want to accept the changes that have come with time. Their spouses feel that you are intolerant and critical of them and treat them as if they are not good enough. And the grandchildren..... can you see what they would be feeling, growing up amidst this kind of implicit, sometimes even explicit sense of rivalry?!

Now the onus of showing forgiveness, understanding and compassion falls on the older people. The whole world looks to their elders, in the family, in society, or in spiritual leadership, to display these qualities for the younger generation. And what better way to teach these values than to be a living example? It would be wonderful if you could see that you are already the owner of this kind of recognition, all you have to do is prove it by practicing it! If you would just extend yourselves a little, you'll see that your family is waiting, looking to you for the 'loving hand' as also a 'timely rebuke.'

Having settled that (I hope!), I believe that grandparents can make the finest teachers children could ever have. You have 'been there, done that', you have a genuine love and concern, you have a slower pace (a good quality for a teacher), and you have a practical knowledge of how values work in our lives. Growing up with values can help children to have wholesome personalities, and the lack of them can leave them without direction or purpose. They will always cherish your invaluable contribution in their lives.

This brings to mind an old adage, 'By the time the son realizes that his father was right, he already has a son who thinks he is wrong.' So when your children are trying to discipline your grandchildren, support them in their efforts, and talk to them in private in case of a difference of opinion. Only when a child sees consistency from all elders, will he/she adhere to it. For, even though it feels good when they run to you to 'rescue' them from their parents, it is not right to belittle their parents' authority.

A few other things you could do are: not to interfere when the child is being corrected, not to contradict or overrule commands, however strict or misplaced they may seem to you, not to let them watch television soaps with you, never compromise on their eating, sleeping, study or play time, never let them associate 'fun' with playing truant when parents are not around or keeping secrets from parents or disobedience, never giving them foods, toys, etc. which are bad for them, not giving in to tantrums or bad behaviour, and not criticizing their parents to them or in front of them. These few don'ts will go a long way towards good grandparenting. You may need to accept a few changes or 'update' yourselves, but your efforts will not go waste- many generations after you will benefit from what you pass on.

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

Sundays Around Doon -Sahastradhara

2010-04-09T19:44:00.002+05:30

If the mercury keeps shooting at this rate, it will soon break all of Jaspal Rana's records. Not to forget, those of the State Government as well. The so called 'Urja Pradesh' has no electricity for its own self, after 1 billion US dollars and 1 lakh people displaced (source:Wikipedia) on its star project - Tehri Dam. The common man has spent his winters facing hours of daily power cut and is bracing up for a bigger onslaught of cuts this summer.

But, this piece is about getting the common man some relief from summer. And the star attraction in summers for us Doonites has been the one and only Sahastradhara. Though, Dehradun sports about a dozen 'Summer Relief' water spots, I'm hoping the summer would last long and I will wickedly get to write about all of them. Jokes apart, my earliest memory goes back to school days when we were made to walk all the way to Sahastradhara in the name of picnic. It sure would be hard to find a Doonite who hasn't visited Sahastradhara, and hasn't swam in the many man-made pools and bathed in the 'sulphur spring'.

Sahastradhara is about 15kms from Dehradun, easily approachable by road and boasts of lush green surroundings. Having developed fast, it has changed its shape drastically due to heavy tourist pressure. Sadly, the growth has been unplanned and the place does not boast of the natural beauty it once did. Its water is said to contain medicinal properties, and is said to be very effective for skin diseases. Once, the activity used to centre around its high waterfall and a few pools. Tourists used to go upstream for a private bath and picnic. Not so any longer, one has to do with the many pools there are. Or settle for many other attractions that have developed nearby.
So you can pick up your lunch baskets and swimming gear and head for Sahastradhara this Sunday, as the mercury goes up and up. Make sure you park in an authorised parking lot; there have been many cases of vehicle-theft. And do make sure you bathe in a clean area; upstream is a better idea. Just be cautious that you don't wander off too far away; specially if you are with family and ladies.

Very few people would know that there is a beautiful trek from Sahastradhara leading to Buraskhanda on the Mussoorie-Dhanaulti road, and another diversion that goes upto Suwakholi. The trek to Buraskhanda has a big waterfall on its way and goes through thick foliage sporting rich flora. But don't try this trek without a guide. One of the locals from the villages around ( Chamasari is one of the big villages there) who have been on the route can take you. Otherwise, there are high chances of your getting lost. Those with adventurous spirits can try the trek; the rest can cool their bodies and spirits in the thereapeutic waters of Sahastradhara. Have fun!

Him Ahuja is an avid traveler and runs a travel blog called allhimalaya.com

Doon ‘Light’ Infantry

2010-04-09T19:43:00.002+05:30

Envy is a mild term. Mild because there are other; more suitable terms (like spiteful, green-eyed) to describe my current feeling towards Army Officers. Ok, let’s face it…I’m plain Jealous.

My friend DK , who commands a rather decorated unit in town, recently got posted, to a beautiful country in the southern hemisphere. His posting meant a farewell party, a band, booze as usual, some dancing and a lot of handshakes and ‘good byes for now’. This is what it meant to most people at the party. But no, not to me, no Sir…this is completely unacceptable. For unlike the current generation, to us passing school in the late 80s and early 90s, the army was not one of the many career options. It was one of the maybe 2, not counting sitting at your father’s shop (that wasn’t a career, it was plain bad luck!). So invariably, about 80% of the class would take the NDA exam, half would reach interviews and a quarter finally become officers. Two of my close friends are senior officers now. I always told my dad that I didn’t like the army. I lied.

The fact was that I was so worried about ‘Grammy Awards’ that I couldn’t even study to save my life. So whilst I have always considered my self ‘General material’, I’m sure even Generals went through a basic math test to get into the army. Well, I couldn’t. So after a couple of attempts at staring at objective type questions, and filling all ‘A’s on the first page and all ‘B’s on the second, I just gave up. Gave up, attempting to crack the NDA exam, not loving the army.

My last 16 years in HR, training and business experience has taught me the following lessons in our current context.
1. You can make all the money in the world, but you can’t live in the cantonment (usually the best part of any town). 2. Your ‘Hugo Boss’ tie cannot make people salute you. 3. Riding a bike on Rajpur Road may be dangerous, but is still not considered an adventure sport. Army gives you a full and free supply of real adventure.
I sometimes wonder why the army has a shortage of officers. Maybe because; they don’t have marketing managers like me. Jealous and green-eyed. By the way, if any of our readers is close to the President of India, may I request a favour? I’d like to raise a unit of officers who couldn’t crack the math exam, but love the army. We’ll call it the Doon ‘Light’ (in math) Infantry; or any other name the President likes. Anyone?

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

Its 5:15!

2010-04-09T19:42:00.000+05:30

Please check the time by your watch, no matter what time your wrist watch shows, the time in Dehradun is 5:15. Really, the biggest and most majestic landmark of our town is always showing the same time and that is 5:15!! I am talking about our very own Clock Tower a.k.a. Ghanta Ghar. It's really disappointing to see that this architectural beauty is being neglected by the authorities. We keep reading that the renovation work is likely to start “very soon”, but how soon is something time will tell. Our clock tower is compared to three other such towers around the globe, namely, the Big Ben in London, the Spasskaya Tower in Moscow and the Rajabai Tower in Mumbai, but this is not motivating enough to get this most aesthetic piece of construction ticking once again. It was appalling to hear that some parts of the machinery have been stolen, that too from under the noses of the authorities!

I think it's high time the authorities should “outsource” the development work of the tower and the park surrounding it. If we ask some corporate houses to undertake this work for a suitable compensation, they would be more than happy to take the offer. Come on people, it's time for change, or should I say it's time to change the time!

Rishi Saluja is the Associate Editor for Dehradun Classified. He is a theatre enthusiast and can be reached on saluja@dehradunclassified.com

Shooting from the hip

2010-04-09T18:58:00.000+05:30

bhumesh bharti

A young boy gets a tattoo at the Jhanda Mela...

IN US, THROUGH US, FOR US

2010-04-09T18:54:00.000+05:30

To understand your parents' love, you must raise children.
- Chinese Proverb
Growing up, I've had more than my share of strife and discord with my parents. There was always something they did not understand, something that they were stubborn about, or someone they loved more than me! So things often didn't work out between my mother and I, because she stood her ground and I did mine. And things got worse when I got married, because now not only her, I had one more mother to deal with! Gosh!! For many years now, I've felt this to be one of the greatest challenges of my life, so has my husband! Because parents, as you know, (mothers in particular!), never give up and never give in! If we are strong-minded, they, it seems, invented stubbornness and are the official know-it-alls! They know everything about children, parenting, clothes, cooking, cleaning, food, storage, walking, eating, sleeping, God, Nature, religion, rituals, people, good, bad, ugly, even the 'evil eye'! And of course, they always know what is good for them and no one dare tell them differently!

What is it about this that we are never able to figure out? This question baffled me for a long time, until the day I had my first baby. The minute I saw him and held him in my arms, I thought “Mamma, so this is how much you love me”. That day, at least one thing became clear to me, that whatever my mom or my husband's mom did, however irritating, wrong or illogical it seemed, they did it out of love for us. But how can love be like this? We love our children, and it's nothing like this! It makes it easier if we start from understanding that position of deep love and commitment they have for us, because in all these years of senseless co-existence with your parents, you must have come across innumerable moments of love, compassion, commitment, discipline, sacrifice, support, goodness, strength, character, all of which made sense sometimes! So what has happened to them now?

Well, let it suffice to say that when they were doing the parenting, we saw only that side of them most often, but now as grown-ups, we see sides of them that show us that they have their sets of flaws just like other human beings. Having aged, they have slowed down physically and mentally as well, and since then their set of worries has changed from worrying about us to their own problems like old age, health issues, finances, loneliness, non-acceptance, spiritual growth, etc., they now seem to us like a completely different set of people. Their old ways and habits give them a sense of security and continuity, they hold meaning for them in ever-changing times, so they hold on to them with great fervour, even sometimes to the extent of alienating everyone else. Mothers of sons find it especially difficult to let go of the 'one who would always support them and look after them'. This feeling of insecurity of losing this most important 'crutch' of their old age, this holding on, without their realizing it, turns into clinging and obsessive control. And when this control is questioned by their son or daughter-in-law, it further develops into an issue of prestige and importance.
I'm convinced that although not intentional, it is difficult for them to back off even when things around them start to become ugly or full of tension. Asad state of affairs, a reality nonetheless, but one which cannot be dealt with arguments, logic, reasoning, threats, non-communication or simply walking out of the house! For that is what they are always afraid of, and we would just be proving their reasoning right!
It is not always easy to take the 'high road' here and say that we understand so we will give in. It can be extremely stressful to deal with these situations on a daily, ongoing basis. But a few wonderful things in my life have taught me that 'I' can always be the one to take the first step. How much worse can it get, things can only become better from here on. Only when we start with ourselves, we can reassure them that we are also open to listening and understanding, and are not expecting only them to make all the changes. We have to assure them of our good intentions, never failing to mention what love and respect we have for them as parents and as people, trying to convince them that we will never leave them but will always do our duties happily, because we have seen them doing theirs for a long, long time.

I know it is an uphill task, and their efforts may not be equitable, but if our efforts are greater and always consistent, slowly they will come to realize that our intentions are good, we really do appreciate their value in our lives and that we will always honour them, as even God commands us to do. They will be able to let go of their insecurities and sometimes false pride, because only a loving and forgiving heart of ours will bring about loving and forgiveness in them. We cannot ignore or neglect our duties as children if we want to be great parents.

And what a beauty it is to watch the love our parents have for their grandchildren, because being our children, they are doubly precious to our parents! Never has there been a love greater than I have for my children, neither has there been a love greater than my parents' love for me!

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

Super kids deserve a ‘super-brain’.

2010-04-09T18:52:00.000+05:30

Did I ever mention that I take Yoga and mindfulness training for children? From what I see at the center, and even outside, one of the biggest challenges facing parents of 3-6 year olds is that of hyperactivity and small attention spans. TV (please notice I did not say ‘too-much-TV’), late-nights, junk food..... I won’t go into the entire set of contributing factors.... Juhi does a much better job of doing that!

Here’s a simple exercise that has shown amazing results with ALL school children, including children with ADHD/ADD, developmental and cognitive delays, Down’s syndrome and specific learning disabilities.

Using principles of energy dynamics and acupressure points, ‘Super-brain yoga’ will shift the excess energy in a way that it actually goes to energise the brain.
Step 1: Face east. Keep your feet shoulder width apart, back erect.
Step 2: Take your left hand and hold your right earlobe with your pointer finger and thumb. Make sure that the thumb is facing away from you. Remove any jewellery before proceeding.
Step 3: Take your right hand and hold your left earlobe with your pointer finger and thumb. Once again, make sure that your thumb is facing away from you, and remove any jewellery from this ear as well.
Step 4: Continue to hold your lobes as you press your tongue to the roof of your mouth.
Step 5: Inhale through your nose and slowly squat down to the ground. Keeping your elbows up helps to keep your back straight.
Step 6: Hold your breath and do not exhale until you start making your way back up to a standing position. Continue holding your lobes and sticking your tongue to the roof of your mouth as you perform this move.
Repeat this action 6 more times, for a total of 7. You may not notice a change immediately, but after a few weeks an improvement in concentration should become apparent.

Sadly, a much deformed version of this has taken root in our minds as a ‘punishment’, so initially if we as parents do these steps with the children, it helps to remove these notions.
A few words of caution: This is a powerful exercise; please do it for no more than 7 cycles in a day. Also, please do not do this exercise during the menstrual cycle or in case of urinary tract infections.

Ajay Mehta is a print designer, an Advanced Pranic Healer and a ‘spiritual’ seeker. He can be reached at ajaxmehta@gmail.com

Heaven and a Lichee Tree.

2010-04-09T18:48:00.000+05:30

I was traveling the whole of last week. Delhi, Gurgaon, Noida; mostly, trying to meet Radio Stations and seeking business. This used to be home last year. When living in Gurgaon and working in Delhi, my usual travel time was an hour and a half, one way. ‘Normal’ when one calls Delhi/Gurgaon home. Not at all ‘normal’; when one moves to Dehra Dun.

Let’s first define normal. Normal technically (in statistics and probability theory), means that out of a number of outcomes of an event, a large number are around the ‘mean’, called the normal curve, or just ‘normal’.

So, it ‘normally’ takes 1.5 hours from Gurgaon to Okhla. There is ‘normally’ a traffic Jam at Dhaula Kuan. There ‘normally’ are very aggressive drivers on the road. It is ‘normal’ for your blood pressure to go beyond 140/90 by the time you reach any place. It is ‘normal’ to ask friends if they have time to meet and ‘normal’ for them to reply “not this week, dude”. It is ‘normal’ to meet in a restaurant ‘mid-way’ and spend 300 rupees on a 30 ml of whisky, instead of inviting people home. It is ‘normal’ to lie to relatives “ Oh! I couldn’t come to Delhi this week”, just in case they invite you for a meal and you have to go through 1.5 hours of traffic, a jam at Dhaula Kuan and aggressive drivers, to have buaji’s Rajma Chawal. Its ‘normal’.

My office in DehraDun is 5 minutes from my home. Friends don’t ask me if I am free anymore, they just pick me up on their way home. I end up first reaching a relative’s house and then asking for Rajma Chawal.

The ‘normal’ curve in Dehra Dun is a little different. So whenever you feel that Dehra Dun isn’t the place to live anymore, I suggest a quick trip to Delhi via Noida and on to Gurgaon. It would tell you what heaven looks like. And oh! by the way, the Lichee tree in our lawn just had its first ‘baur’.

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

Shooting from the hip

2010-04-09T18:04:00.000+05:30

Last week, the world celebrated the ‘girl-child’ week.

bhumesh bharti

Wonderful Buddy

2010-04-09T18:00:00.000+05:30

How many of us own pets? How many of us own pets that are ageing? I am someone who falls in both the categories, and I must say that I am a worried soul. One, as all of us would agree, at the thought of losing a pet, in my case my 12 year old boxer ‘Buddy’, and the second one which just occured to me a few days back, what does one do with the ‘body’ after the demise? I am sure you would want to pay some respect to your pet, who has accompanied you for the last so many years. You wouldn’t want to just dump him in some vacant plot or just get rid of him by throwing him in some water body!! At least I would not want to do that! Don’t you think there should be some designated place to perform the last rites of your dear pet, some place which is away from the crowd, some place which is guarded; some place where he can rest in peace? I happened to see a programme on television, where they were talking about a burial ground in Pune, which has specially been made for pets. I am sure if Pune can manage it, so can Dehradun. I wish someone would empathize with me and help me and so many people like me with this noble cause. Any takers?

Rishi Saluja is the Associate Editor for Dehradun Classified. He is a theatre enthusiast and can be reached on saluja@dehradunclassified.com

AGGRESSION – A REAL THREAT

2010-04-09T17:59:00.000+05:30

Far too many of our little children are becoming frustrated, then angry, and in their state of rage the lovable teddy is not safe, toys are thrown around, they make their bodies stiff and unyielding, not to mention even throwing themselves to the ground. Their aggressive behaviour controls their daily play, and is disruptive to friends and family. Why? Because the inputs that they are getting from all around are so full of violence and aggression, they are bound to emulate these patterns sooner or later. Aggression in our children, in society even, has reached alarming proportions, and it is one of the greatest causes of worry for me as a parent. I'm sure it's the same for you.
Growing up, I so often heard that 'our eyes are our window to the outside world'. I would say it holds true for all our senses. What we take in from the outside is bound to remain in us and eventually we will give out what is stored inside. Isn't that what the three famous monkeys of Gandhiji try to depict? As children we were always asked to see good, say good, hear good, do good, and be good. In other words, stay away from 'bad' influences so we may not become 'bad' also. It was a simple philosophy and really worked too. But nowadays, rules have become flexible, control has been compromised and we are trying to be 'cool' parents. Nevertheless, 'cool' or not, aggression is a real cause for worry and most of us don't know how to handle it. So, what is bringing about this behaviour trend? I would say 'toys', 'TV', and 'gizmos' are the primary reasons for this.
Take for example, 'toys'. More than enough has been written about the importance of play in childhood and toys are an integral part of a child's play. But what are children playing with? Guns, swords, 'Jedi' sabres, toys of combat like soldiers, tanks, warplanes, exposing children to concepts of warfare, where killing and hurting are just a game. 'Spiderman', 'Superman', 'Power Rangers', they are all saving the world from imaginary dangers, and planting imaginations of violence in our children. These toys are in great demand (even to obsessive levels!), a child would go through endless tantrums to get them, and eventually, our children are learning their values from action-figures and violent heroes! Even the princes of fairy tales have to kill a few ogres and bad men to reach the princess, and girls are subscribing to these kinds of subliminal 'killing-is-justified' messages, even as boys are worshipping action heroes. Playtime with toys among children has become more about 'grabbing' than 'sharing'. Children who do not have such toys are looked down on and jeered at by other kids, thus creating immense peer pressure to want and own such toys. Toys are not more child-friendly any more, they are just a reflection of the underlying violence, fear, aggression and anger in society, and children, without our realizing it, are picking up these signals and 'transmitting' them.

Another very instrumental cause for the spread of aggressive mentality is cable TV. This is a very 'touchy' topic with most parents, but I am definitely going to touch on it! Parents are hooked to TV soap serials, and family intrigues, hostility, revenge, dramatic vengeance plots, WWF, Fashion TV, it is all on display for our kids almost all hours of the day! Wow! It gets even worse for children watching cartoons (safe for children, oh no!) Even the cartoons and children's movies are full of violence, aggression, drama, teenage 'rock and roll' and all kinds of underlying suggestions as to how to get the better of parents! I'm not exaggerating, honestly, just watch what your child is watching, for a day, and you'll be taken aback! Even the so-called 'innocuous' cartoons like Tom & Jerry or Popeye are loaded with hitting and one-oneupmanship. Parents ask their children to watch National Geographic or Discovery, but if there is no supervision or control, who's listening?

The other great negative influence is electronic 'gizmos' like computer games, play-stations, i-Pods, etc. For most parents, these are convenient ways to keep the children out of their way, and a lot of parents feel great pride in their children's intelligence and skills at working these gadgets, little realizing that these soon become the tools of control. Soon enough children dictate to grownups, who in turn feel helpless to regain control. Children watch all kinds of advertising purely aimed at product sales, effectively creating artificial 'needs' in them and filling them with untruths or half-truths. Since children do not have sales resistance or critical minds, they make their parents buy things shown through ads, from small things like toys and junk food to even big things like cars!

We blame TV and society for bringing about perversity and rage, thus giving ourselves a 'clean chit', where we do not have to blame ourselves or the way we are bringing up our children. It is time to look inside and break our own wrong habits. Time to be the parent – the one in control. Would you send your child into a dark, dangerous cave unattended, unaccompanied, not knowing what lurks inside? These influences are like that 'dark cave'. We have to be cautious and in control. It is better to be safe than sorry!

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

Sundays Around Doon - Rajaji National Park

2010-04-09T17:58:00.000+05:30

This week I don’t feel like going out for a picnic. Instead, I want to introspect. I want to go deep into the forest, and find out why we can’t co-exist peacefully, happily together. I mean the forest and us. So let’s go someplace where the soul of the forest resides. Let’s talk to it; let’s find out its grievances and let’s find an honest answer to why the forests are shrinking? Why there have been 13 leopard deaths in just over 2 months? Because every time a leopard dies, he/she leaves behind a family of wife, children or sometimes just the children left all alone in the world. As much as we grieve for a child left without parents after a tragedy, these innocent animals also deserve our sympathies. And not just that, but a direct effort to help them out.

Almost every week, the local newspaper’s headlines shriek at us about capture, injury and death of yet another ‘guldaar’ (a sub-species of leopard). Most of them are trapped and killed. The causes are many – the increasing human population and thereby reducing forest cover for the animals, fear and protection of crops and villages by laying traps, or sheer greed for their precious skins and bones.

Rajaji National Park is situated adjacent to Dehradun city and runs alongside the roads to Roorkee and Haridwar. It has an area of 820.42 sq km, and is open to visitors from mid-November to mid-June. Its rich bio-diversity and beautiful spans make it one of the most popular National Parks in India. Sadly, it’s population of ‘guldaars’ also make it attractive for poachers. It has birding, elephant safaris and jeep rides, offering a mesmerizing experience of the Park. It also has 10 Forest Rest Houses spread over the Park, out of which 7 are in working condition and offer comfortable staying options.

So the next Sunday or so, visit the Rajaji National Park. For a picnic, if you must, or a jolly good ride through the forest. Spend a nice leisurely day admiring the beauty and richness of the forest. Wander across its various spots, as the Park guides will point out to you. Take an Elephant safari, and while he takes you around happily to show you his world, think over why many of his brethren get killed by trains that pass through his habitat. And why they get angry and romp in the villages, if they have such a beautiful place for a home, if only it is left alone for them.

Oh, and if you come across the soul of the forest, just stay silent, and let your soul do the talking. Just for a few minutes, let everything fall silent, let all worries leave you and let the sounds and smell around you take over. The soul of the forest has something for everybody. You see, the forest has always given to man everything he has asked for. It just asks for one thing from man – peaceful co-existence. Is that so hard to give?

Him Ahuja is an avid traveler and runs a travel blog called allhimalaya.com

Shooting from the hip

2010-03-06T21:40:00.000+05:30

Every three years, the main flag pole of the Jhanda Sahib is changed. This new one, all of 93 ft, comes all the way from Mothrowala, on about 1000 pairs of shoulders, carrying it in groups of about 250.

bhumesh bharti

QUANTITY vs QUALITY

2010-03-06T21:38:00.000+05:30

A few years back, while I was teaching at a boarding-school, there was a teachers’ workshop which dealt with individual attention and spending time with children. This of course meant how we, as teachers, could do that. What a paradox! Here we were, surrounded by hundreds of children, sent away by their parents, and we had to somehow find ways to fill in that gap, and provide parental care as well. Now the parents had many reasons, like busy careers, children being spoilt due to being in joint families, no good schools in their towns, or some just sent their children away because they cramped their busy social lifestyles! Most of the parents had good reasons, but some, I felt, were just selfish.

I didn’t mind spending more time with the children, in fact, we would spend great times together, after class, on the field, in the dormitories, telling stories, cracking jokes, dressing-up as make-believe characters, or just plain old ghost stories in dark rooms at night(which I quickly had to put an end to!). It was heart-rending to watch them miss their parents or homes, trying to keep their chins up, but tears unexpectedly falling at the mention of anything from home. So many times I cried with them, feeling their pain and loss. At twenty something I missed home, these children were just five years of age!

Some years later, I started working in a day-school. And to my surprise, the children here were going through the same emotions as children in boarding-schools. I soon learned that parents did not have time for their children even when they were with them. A lot of them were busy with their jobs, household chores, social lives, and the worst of all, televisions or computers! And to my utter dismay, when told about this, they felt that their child was just saying that or behaving badly because he/she just wanted more attention. Bingo! How right they were! But they only saw this as a fault on the child’s part, rather than the problem having anything to do with them. Many of them told me that they spent ‘quality time’ with their children whenever they could.

Actually, the concept of ‘quality time’ was first conceived in the early 1970s, when both parents started to work outside, and they carried with them the guilt-pangs of child-neglect. So some research scholars of that time came up with a solution of breaking up their time into ‘quantity’ and ‘quality’ time. They also came to the conclusion that a child only needed about an hour of loving and close attention each day! So the guilt pangs evaporated and now busy careers and snotty noses could be managed perfectly! Not any more.

I do have something to say about this, as do many child experts and psychologists all over the world, because soon, it became evident that business management principles could not successfully be applied to home and child management. It is an illusion, because children are not on our time-table. It is they who decide(as all parents will agree with me) when they need our attention and when they feel that we are just in their way! They may sometimes be too tired or too uninterested. And then there are times when they are inconsolable because all they need is us and nothing or no one else will do. Right!

Being a parent of three myself, I agree that there is not enough energy, inclination or time on our hands. We would rather just sit and read a book or watch something on television or go out with friends. But how can we forget, we have now the greatest responsibility- to bring up our children. We chose this and now we need to stick with it. The time spent now with them, the hugs, kisses and cuddles, will give them the security and stability they will need in their adulthood, when they are on their own. Next time, I’m going to talk about a few practical ways to achieve this. Till then...!

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

To forgive or knot

2010-03-06T21:37:00.000+05:30

It’s the climax scene: after making life miserable for the hero and his clan for the entire movie, the villain has been decidedly beaten at his own game. The hero has the sword/ gun/knife at the villain’s throat, but there is something stopping him from vanquishing the devil. The camera zooms in on the villain and then to the anger in the hero’s eyes; we see the turmoil he’s in. Suddenly the music changes - the hero has made his decision. The sword/gun/knife falls to the ground, the ‘baddie’ is forgiven for a lifetime of trouble-making, turns around to meet the wife/ girlfriend/mother only to be stabbed/shot by the villain....

As I was growing up, this is how I understood ‘forgiveness’.... something akin to ‘foolishness’. This was the conditioning that I picked up from not just the movies, but also explicit and implicit communication from society. All this communication, not only implied that forgiving was imprudent, but also confused ‘forgiveness’ with ‘trust’. You see, the hero could have forgiven the villain, but still not trusted him with the sword/gun/ knife.

As a pranic healer, I have seen, not one or two, but umpteen people with physical, emotional, spiritual, relationship and financial (yes! financial) troubles that stem from their inability and/or denial to forgive. One of the first things that we are taught, is the amazing ability of forgiveness to heal the body and the mind. We are also taught that forgiveness is of two kinds - internal and external. Internal forgiveness implies forgiving and letting go from your inner being; and this kind is for everyone. External forgiveness, on the other hand, implies that the ‘forgiven’ knows that he has been forgiven. Whether the other person knows that he has been forgiven, is a ‘trust’ decision; one that you need to take with prudence.
Simply put, forgiving is not something you do when you’re feeling magnanimous, but a decision that you take in your own interest.

Here’s what happens in energy terms: When ‘A’ holds a grudge against ‘B’, a cord binds ‘A&B’ in a relationship that saps both of them. This sapping relationship, if not released in time, often leads to problems for both ‘A’ and ‘B’. The good part is, this cord can be released from either side, ‘A’ forgiving ‘B’, or ‘B’ asking for forgiveness from ‘A’.

So here is an exercise that I strongly recommend to everyone for a healthy and peaceful life. Every night, yes every night, just as you are getting ready to sleep, make two lists. First, of ALL the people you think you could have hurt, knowingly or unknowingly, verbally, physically, financially or in any other way, and the second, of all the people who have hurt you in any of these ways. Now, one by one, make a mental picture of each one on the lists. To every one from List 1, say - “I realise I have hurt you in _____ manner, and from the bottom of my heart I ask for forgiveness. Thank you”. And to everyone on List2 say, - “you have hurt me in ____ manner. I realise that you are as much a child of God, as I am. I choose to forgive you and let you go”. And yes, don’t forget to put your own name in both lists.

A simple exercise, with astonishingly profound results. Trust me! My own List 1 started with a single digit population and in a few months crossed a hundred. List 2, on the other hand started with a few hundred and is now down to a handful. In this waxing and waning of lists, the knots inside me got undone and I went through a wonderful healing process at all levels - physical, emotional and spiritual. Initially, it was tough - some people were especially tough to forgive. The exercise felt unreal, but with time, that changed, and so did I...

Ajay Mehta is a print designer, an Advanced Pranic Healer and a ‘spiritual’ seeker. He can be reached at ajaxmehta@gmail.com

Wanted, Mr. Tantra, Alive.

2010-03-06T21:35:00.000+05:30

I had a lovely Holi. This one in DehraDun after almost 20 years, and trust me, there is no place like home. In this case I mean Doon, the town that I call home, not just the rented place I currently live in.
The problem with the concept of ‘home’ is that one tends to own it, personalize it and get emotional about minor things. That then is my current situation with this town. I have a sense of ownership, get very personal and emotional about Doon, and hence this week’s story.

First a little flashback. Circa 1989, the chemistry class at St. Joseph’s was taught by a Mr. Tantra. Boys of all sizes, irrespective of muscle mass and father’s occupation, were in awe of this blue eyed Parsi gentleman of medium built. This was the time when hitting boys was a form of exercise for ‘masters’. Mr. Tantra however used his eyes to get the same affect.

This was also the time I started smoking. The little chai shop facing the school was Anuj’s discovery and our smoking hide out. Come 1:30 PM and a few of us will buy a cigarette each and blow rings in the air. Only Mr. Tantra; without our knowledge, was a tea lover and this was his favorite joint too.

On the fateful day of 2nd March 1989, we finished with a board exam and hit our joint. The first smoke ring had barely touched the roof when Mr. Tantra ordered his tea, and saw the three of us with the instruments of manhood (cigarettes, I mean) in our hands. He sat next to us, while we froze and dropped the smokes. He said nothing. Well at least for the first minute or so. The words that followed went through us like knives …”Can you please take your blazers and ties off please. I don’t want people to know you come from St. Joseph’s”. He then left; his half empty glass of tea still on the table.

I recently stopped a young boy driving on the wrong side of the road and by the power of my prematurely grey hair assumed that a lesson in civic behavior is warranted. “Can you please take your bike the other way” I said, “this is DehraDun, and lets keep it nice”. The boy very politely said “Why don’t you mind your business” and rode off ,still on the wrong side.

My eyes clearly are neither blue nor effective, but if you know where Mr. Tantra is, can you please tell him that a town; and not just a school, needs him back.

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

Shooting from the hip

2010-02-28T18:45:00.000+05:30

Darbar Saheb gets ready for the annual mela that starts 5 days after holi

bhumesh bharti

ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE

2010-02-28T18:44:00.000+05:30

Thank you, God, for the world so sweet,
Thank you, God, for the food we eat,
Thank you, God, for the birds that sing,
Thank you, God, for everything.

God listens to this prayer from millions of little children all over the world every day. How wonderful these words must sound to Him, even though He hears them so often.

Growing up, I distinctly remember always praying as a family, for everything good that happened that day, thanking God for His blessings and mercies, asking for things we needed, thanking Him for things we received, for food, clothes, house, good health, education, family, friends, teachers, plants, animals…The list was long, but each one of us prayed and thanked, and the others just kept adding to the list as we went along. We even thanked God for things that didn't turn out well, things we lost or things we asked for and did not get. Not everything worked out the way we wanted it, but we were taught to thank God even for those! Why?
Well, we learned that God is kind, loving and giving- always listens to our prayers and provides for all our needs and grants our hearts' wishes. But that is not always the case. Many a time, we don't get what we want because that is something we probably don't need, deserve or is bad for us. Simple!
Now, now, a shiny red bike, or a holiday in Goa, or full marks in my exams, or the boy who always teases me getting hurt or failing in the exams, how can all this not be good for me? Well, it is not so simple then, is it? We were told it means that either it does not fit in with God's purpose for our life, or we will get something whenever, and in whatever measure, that God has planned for us.

Now that we are parents, the responsibility of teaching our children these same things has passed on to us. Why do we need to do it? As parents, it is one of our most important spiritual duties. If we are able to instill an 'attitude of gratitude' in our children, they will always know how to be content with whatever they have. They will be able to understand that a short-term loss may, in fact, be a boon in the long-term. Being grateful will help them to live in the moment, secure in the knowledge that God always provides for our needs, but sometimes withholds certain things because He wants to fulfill a greater purpose through us. If they learn that we already have the greatest gift, life, and everything else that we receive is an added bonus, there will be few reasons to complain, and so many reasons to celebrate.

Warning: Our children will learn all this, in a lesser degree through what we tell them, and in a greater measure by watching our actions and attitude. They always look to us to provide the correct example, so we will first have to learn to live this attitude ourselves, and then we can pass it on. A daily practice of being thankful, reviewing our days' actions and interactions as good, bad or something to be worked on, and staying aware of a Higher Power watching over us and providing for us, this will greatly help our children to feel secure and to stay in God's Grace all their lives.

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

Sundays Around Doon - Kumbh 2010

2010-02-28T18:43:00.000+05:30

Let's admit it. After all the boasting about of my travels, I'm more of a couch surfer these days, with so much work and an overwhelming response to the online CMS program we have launched. So despite all my efforts not to miss the 'largest confluence on earth', so far I have only been able to visit the happenings courtesy my spotty BSNL broadband and the daily Hindi newspaper.

Poorna Kumbh (or Maha Kumbh as some people like to tout it aka marketing lingo) is one of the most important religious gatherings on earth. And is certainly, the most important religious event in India. After all, who would want to miss tasting the nectar of immortality. 'Kumbh' actually means 'pot'. Every Indian remembers the story of the 'Samudra-manthan' and the resultant 'nectar' that came out of it. It is that 'pot of nectar' that was placed by the 'devtas' at four places. And these four places are the sites of Kumbh every twelve years – Haridwar, Prayaga (Allahabad), Nasik and Ujjain. Not counting the Ardh-Kumbh that takes places every six years.

There, now you know why I want to go to Kumbh. I also have that inner desire to be immortal, ah! But frankly, Kumbh is much more than just a religious gathering. It is a grand experience encompassing religion, rituals, visual treats and an inter-cultural medley. I would not want to miss such an exciting opportunity that showcases the coming together of worlds at such close range. Imagine the most primitive and orthodox of practices finding place next to the ultra-modern world. Imagine what a rich sensory experience it would be to juxtapose the crowds of people from all backgrounds, nationalities, cultures and beliefs all joined together for one reason; a multitude of sights and events parallely seeking your attention.

And before you get lost in the confusion, do take your identity proof. We have had sooo.. many films on 'lost in Kumbh, found in Kumbh' stories. Not to forget your camera, or cameras, for the shutter-happy, since you won't be getting this opportunity again. Go prepared, and go with a couple of days on hand at least, to savor the delights and adventures of the Kumbh. The auspicious bathing dates of the Kumbh can be found on http://kumbh2010hardiwar.gov.in. The period of the Kumbh extends from 14th Jan – 28th April. Though it would be convenient if you stayed away from the 'Shahi Snan' dates, because of the huge crowds and extra tight security on those days. Be prepared to walk and walk, because of the tight security arrangements, and vehicle bans. And be prepared to wake up early, reaaaally early, around 4am--5am to catch those rare early morning bathing rituals. Who knows, you might also catch the 'nectar of immortality'.

If not, atleast you will catch the unforgettable experience of being at the Kumbh. Don't forget to share with all of us.

Him Ahuja is an avid traveler and runs a travel blog called allhimalaya.com

No Q, but B Positive

2010-02-28T18:41:00.002+05:30

Dr. Manoj Gupta and my wife Mehak, met for the first time this week. It didn't seem like the first time; though. As soon as Dr. Gupta started to write down the tests I should go through, for my annual physical appraisal, Mehak started suggesting tests that only the very rich; or very mad, go through. I haven't felt 'rich' in a long time, and the 'madness' I assure you, is quite temporary; till my business settles a little. The point is she did convince Dr. Gupta to write down every diagnostic test conceivable.

The next morning, after dropping Rhea to school and having failed to convince the Mrs., that the tests are unnecessary, we landed at DehraDun's (so called) best diagnostic center. The new building was immediately impressive, and we were both relieved to see that medical standards in our town are going north. Only until we stepped inside.
On entering, I could see huge and expensive equipment and uniformed staff, a decent seating area and the usual crowd that gathers in the morning. What a relief… both of us sighed. The TV meanwhile continued playing 'Bhajans' from one of the many religious channels.
I haven't worked for ISO to be able to judge the medical diagnostic standards of this place, but many years of world class retailing and customer service does make you notice things. The reception area had a sweet looking girl 'trying' to manage the 20 people, all asking for attention at the same time. When I suggested a queue to her, she promptly reminded me of my situation (that of a mere customer), and that she knew who came in first. The old Sardar gentleman standing right at the door couldn't even reach the reception for 15 minutes. Mehak's father is an ex-army man… so she took up the challenge and got me registered. This one minute job took us close to 20.

The sea of people then moved to the area where blood samples are taken. I mean everybody just moved there, with their little slips extended towards the staff. Survival of the fittest, I guess applies everywhere. The manager of the place of course, kept changing channels on the TV through all this.

“The CT scanning starts at 9, Sir”; made me find the morning's paper and rest. Mamta Banerjee will present the rail budget etc., occupied me for the some time till I realized that it was a quarter past. “Sir, the CT scan technician will be here soon”, coincided with a young chap entering the premises. He then turned the machine on and reminded me of the 'heating up' process that the machine must go through. Mehak by then noticed the head rest cover, which had seen hundreds before us, without a change. With her around; it had to go, and a new one took some time. The scan finally happened at 9:40.

The tests came out fine. My cholesterol is under control, and the madness has nothing to do with my head, says the Doctor. Mehak now thinks its DNA related, and is trying to find other people in the family tree that can be blamed for my condition. My blood group is still B+ , hence in spite of my reactions to stumpy customer service, I will go back for my annual heath checks, hoping this time the CT scan will happen at 9 AM.

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

Shooting from the hip

2010-02-26T18:44:00.000+05:30

The Kumbh warrior?
bhumesh bharti

Wonder ‘Jam’

2010-02-26T18:42:00.000+05:30

Driving down Chakarata Road a.k.a. Suicide Alley, I started wondering yet again… where is Dehradun headed? The traffic situation here is anything but civilized. There was a time when I used to boast to my friends in Mumbai about how I could press the accelerator of my car once and reach office before the car could slow down. Not anymore! There are endless ‘jams’, narrow lanes and movie-goers traffic. If one needs to go to the railway station to pick someone up, it can be a punishment, it takes forever to get there! Just crossing the Panchayati Mandir stretch is a good 15-minute exercise, and then you go through bad congestion on Gandhi road and Prince Chowk. After going through this whole ordeal, if you still have the courage to smile and greet your relatives, then I am sure they really are very dear to you! Jokes apart, have you ever wondered, what the scenario would be in the next 5 years? The worrying part is that no one in the administration seems to be noticing this either. We need to have a concrete plan in place, as to how to tackle this situation. We can convert certain roads into “one-ways”; we need a better public transport system, so the number of private vehicles on the road can be reduced. If any of you have any ideas about handling this situation, and how to take this up with the administration, do write in to us. Let’s act fast, before half the town turns into a “suicide alley”!

Rishi Saluja is the Associate Editor for Dehradun Classified. He is a theatre enthusiast and can be reached on saluja@dehradunclassified.com

MONEY MATTERS

2010-02-26T18:39:00.002+05:30

A few days back, I was talking to a friend of mine about how my daughter, Mannat, and son, Mubaraq, have their birthdays just a few days apart. Mubaraq is turning nine and Mannat two, so I told my friend that just like last year, we would be having a common party for both of them and we could only get away with this maybe for another year, because as our daughter grows older, she would want a party of her own! My friend and I were talking about how expensive it can be to host these parties, what with the gifts, decoration, cake, catering, and other miscellaneous expenses.

I knew that my son was around, but I did not realize that he had been listening to our conversation. When we returned, he said to me that he didn't really want a birthday party. He told me that he understood that it would cost a lot of money and that there was no need for us to waste it! I was taken aback. I was a little upset that my son felt that we could not afford to have a party for him. But I was wrong! He lovingly explained to me that he was only saying that because he understood that money is valuable and the money for the party could instead be used for more important expenses. And he did not look ruffled or upset in the least!
That is when I realized that I should not be upset, I should be proud of him for learning this very valuable lesson so early in his life. And along with it came a sense of accomplishment that we, as parents, had actually succeeded in passing on this message. If I had seen a sense of martyrdom or false sacrifice in him, I would have felt that I had failed, but the complete honesty and acceptance in my son completely floored me! I felt so grateful and thanked God for it! How wonderful this conversation was!
Sometimes we do all we can but our children are always asking for more. And to prove our capability, or because we feel guilty for not giving them enough time, we just keep giving them what they want. Many times we try to over-compensate for certain kinds of lack we may have faced as children by giving them too much. I know that this is out of love, but aren't we compromising a lot on some important values of thrift and self-control? On the one hand, we want our children to grow up to be self-sufficient, but by indiscriminately giving them whatever and whenever they want, they just begin to see money as being infinitely available. The reality can come as a shock to them.

It is a fine balancing act to make our children see that money has to be earned and deserved. We can talk about the deprivation and poverty in the world, how some have too much while others have too little or none at all. Also important to teach them through stories and honest conversations is that we have a higher purpose in life and the values of charity, helping, selflessness and giving, make us grow in spirit. It is difficult for smaller children to understand these, so we can ask them about how they feel when they are kind, or give, share or help. They will easily be able to associate with feeling good and warm inside. So we can associate good and grand feelings with good works. Children are naturally happy and they would love to see others happy as well. We just need to tap into their innate goodness and giving hearts.

Here, our children must be consistently shown the difference between 'needs' and 'wants'. 'Needs' are those which reflect the basic requirements of our life, and 'wants' are those which the heart desires, things we can do without. We have to teach our children that what gives money its value is that it comes through hard work, sacrifice and a deep sense of responsibility for people around us. They can also be introduced to the concept of saving for a 'rainy day'. We can trust them to use money wisely and well by teaching them the ethical and correct ways to use money, thus providing them with the essential tools of wealth creation and management.

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

In the flow of things!

2010-02-26T18:38:00.000+05:30

Anna Tanvir, the late Habib Tanvir’s daughter, was recently visiting from France, and in our studio recording for her new children’s album. She sings like an angel and I’m sure will do well. That however is not this week’s story.

She recorded for five days out of which she was quite unwell for two. The usual stuff that happens to people when they come to India and have our special ‘un-bottled’ water. I am her new music manager for India and wanted to show both chivalry and care, so the artist comes back (fingers crossed) for more. She however gave me little chance to show any. Unwell to the core, she sang all five days and managed to complete four songs , that should have taken, guess what , five days!

I was both surprised and in awe of this fragile-looking woman, who had to use the ladies room many times a day just to stay out of it long enough. What surprised me further was the fact that she did not complain and kept going. (Unlike me in similar situations when …I just take time off and crib.) So, we just went along and waited till she was about to leave, before popping the question. “Anna, how did you manage to keep your chin up and continue working, even when unwell”? She paused before answering, smiled, and said, “I didn’t even know I was unwell, I just went with the flow. You see, music does that to me”.

Anna left for France this Thursday, having shown me a live example of what love for your work can do for you, your people, and sometimes your music manager. She also left me thinking of what would keep me in my ‘flow’…when I would forget everything else and just be so engrossed in that moment, that nothing else mattered.

Mehak, my wife feels in ‘flow’ when she is dancing or teaching aerobics. My daughter, Rhea, when she picks up a new ‘Tintin’. Ghansham our ‘mali’, when he is in our lawn, the ‘Wadali Brothers’ who performed at the Doon Club on Saturday, when they shut their eyes and go ‘Sufi’, our neighbor’s son Abhishek, just looking at his new bike.

‘Flow’ then, must have something to do with getting our best out and maybe happiness, even if it’s an overused word. So ‘flow’ Anna, ‘flow’, and may you always be happy.

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

Free Will(y)

2010-02-26T18:37:00.000+05:30

My room-mate, a very dear friend, was a 'free willy' fan; and no I don't mean the movie! He argued that if Mother Nature, with her infinite intelligence, and endless possibilities, wanted it that way, She would have somehow ensured that we spend our entire lives with just one spouse/partner. If Man can design a lock that opens with its own key, surely Nature could, and would have done better. I didn't care much for social norms back then; in fact, I still feel that society's rules are far too ‘malleable’ to base a life on; I would rather have something more solid , like a 'principle', but then that's subject matter for a whole new piece!

Anyhow, I don't have enough ammunition with me to take on my friend's argument, and I don't want it to look like a case of sour grapes, so I let it go. We pass out of college, I forget about the ‘lock & key’, and only a few years later we lose contact with each other. Cut to more than 15 years later, I am sitting in an Advanced Pranic Healing class, and the teacher is discussing the relationship between 'character building' and 'spiritual growth'. The discussion comes around to adultery/ promiscuity, and how it slows down the 'spirit', and suddenly, I am reminded of my college friend and his beliefs. I am not so sure if this is enough ammunition to take on my friend again. After all, Nature could have still organized it just so… Besides, I still don't have his whereabouts.

Cut once again, to only a few weeks ago, I have the good fortune of meeting a preacher, a great orator, and a greater man of God – Pastor MC. And once again, the conversation veers to the subject of spiritual growth, and he says something that is so simply profound that it feels like a 'moment of truth' descending upon me. “We grow, because we have Free Will. This is what makes us stand apart from other living beings. We grow when we exercise our free will and choose compassion over indifference and forgiveness over foolishness. We grow when we exercise our free will and choose responsibility over selfishness, generosity over greed, long-term growth over short-term pleasures, and commitment over promiscuity.”

Well, the latest is, thanks to Facebook, I am back in touch with my college room-mate and am seriously contemplating picking up an old unfinished discussion…

Ajay Mehta is a print designer, an Advanced Pranic Healer and a ‘spiritual’ seeker. He can be reached at ajaxmehta@gmail.com

Shooting from the hip

2010-02-12T12:57:00.000+05:30

photo: bhumesh bharti

TROUBLE IN PARADISE?!

2010-02-12T12:54:00.002+05:30

My work at the Centre, I love every moment of it. And children love the activities, so usually, I do not face any trouble with tantrums or hysterical crying. But occasionally, a new child joins us, and there are the 'first-day jitters', screaming and crying, not letting go of the parents, afraid of being left by themselves, in short, tantrums.

Yesterday, a very little girl, just over 4 years old, joined us. She started screaming, crying, tugging, etc. when her mother was about to leave. Well, I stepped in and asked her worried mother to leave. I carried her into the reading room, where I got out some picture-books and jigsaw puzzles. She threw away the books and toys and would just not be consoled. I just kept on doing the puzzle with her, attracting her attention to it and the pictures in the books. Whenever she threw something, I asked her not to, nicely but firmly, and praised her for picking out the right puzzle-pieces or identifying an animal correctly. And within five to seven ten minutes, she was quiet, responding to me, doing the jigsaw beautifully, and was fine by the time the other children joined the class.
Was it magic? Well, for me, it is just a very important part of parenting. For who, among us, has not faced a full-blown temper tantrum from time to time? But most of us just buckle under the pressure it creates in us and our surroundings. It is so much easier to 'give in' just because we feel embarrassed, tired and upset, or else we just don't know how. But in my experience, the thing which works wonders is a lot of love with a lot of firmness. Children are very intelligent beings, they throw tantrums primarily to test how far they can go with different people, and how much they can get out of it. This is purely human nature. Don't we adults do the same? But this behaviour, if not stopped at the right time and in the correct way, can lead them to be manipulative and self-serving when they grow up.

So what is the right time and the correct way? Well, it's never too soon. We can start when they are infants, and from then on, keep disciplining them according to their age. Here, a very important thing to remember is that disciplining is not the same as punishing, in fact, they are quite opposing. Our children always respond better to a loving tone than to a harsh one, or unkind words. It may take some time and a lot of patience, but the result is definitely worth it.

We have to look directly into their eyes, speaking firmly, but letting our love for them show. We can suggest helpful ways to help them stop. For example, "You are getting hurt by dragging yourself over the floor like that, so if you would just sit up and tell me what it is you want to say, I promise to listen to you. I may not do what you want me to do, if it is not a good or reasonable thing, but I would still like you to tell me about it. But it is hard for me to understand a word of what you are saying because of the screaming and crying". This can be altered according to the age of the child, of course. Also, this is an example, it cannot work for all situations, but you can work out your own loving tantrum-time talk. But the message has to be loud and clear, that we are not giving in to anything unreasonable or wrong, and a tantrum can never be the way for them to achieve anything. This not only teaches them how to behave reasonably and in an acceptable manner, but they also learn the meaning of the very important word 'NO'!

Our children should not be allowed to see emotions of fear or impatience in our eyes. We have to look composed, patient and in control of the situation. Though, this is easier said than done. But I’m sure we can do whatever it takes to teach them the right behaviour and values, while still letting them feel precious and loved?

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

Sundays Around Doon - Dhanolti

2010-02-12T12:53:00.000+05:30

God has his own work timings. Not like our 9-5 schedule. Moreover, we can’t blame him if he chooses to shower us with rain, snowfall and pounding hail, just when we thought the summers were here. That’s the damage we have done to the ecological system. So squarely, the blame is on us too. So we go through the entire winters dry like a desert, and then pat comes the rain. But as human beings, we’ve got this ingenious habit of turning everything into opportunity. So why not enjoy the snowfall and make good use of the extended weekend!

Doonites have two favorite places to catch the snow. The masses ofcourse go to Mussoorie. And the more adventurous and resourceful go further to Dhanolti. I’m not saying there is any comparison between the two. But it’s Dhanolti that undoubtedly offers the most pristine surroundings, the most picturesque views of snow-capped peaks, and the finest Deodar slopes.
It’s just 60-65 kms away from Dehradun (30kms from Mussoorie), depending on where you start from, and which route you take. One could go via Mussoorie, facing the steep uphill road to Landour, or take a diversion approx 8kms before Mussoorie and catch the bypass road just above the road going to Barlowganj. Freshly made, this road is a better alternative for those aiming straight at Dhanolti and offers a thrilling drive along the forest. It meets the Mussoorie-Dhanolti-Tehri road at Bataghat. A few kilometers ahead is Buranskhanda, where in March-April one encounters the hills flush with Rhododendrons (Burans is the local name) that make the hills seem on fire. There is also a cut in the ridge here that allows one to spot the neat, long range of snow-capped peaks, along with hot steaming tea served by the lone tea stall at this point. And a few kms ahead, we reach Dhanolti.

Dhanolti is a roughly 2 kilometre patch on the road that runs along the ridge from Mussoorie to Chamba. The actual village being away from the road, there are a few houses and hotels that occupy the most of the concrete mass here. The most outstanding feature of Dhanolti is its thick forest line of Deodars, Oak and Rhododendrons along the road. It offers the most scenic walks that one can enjoy in the hills. Park your vehicles along the road near the Eco Park that has come up recently or at the MDDA parking down the road. Frankly, despite the Eco Park logo, it has tea stalls selling tea in plastic cups, cement blocks sculpted like wood, and reminders of artificial human intervention in the name of dustbins, cemented floors etc. all huddled together on a narrow patch of slope. Those who have been coming to Dhanolti for decades like me still remember the solitary quietness one enjoyed just walking along these very slopes or sitting under the trees and watching the valleys unfold. A much better spot still virgin is the slopes at the back of the GMVN Rest House or the ones uphill after the Rest House. Enjoy it before another ‘Park’ comes up.

The few hotels here are spaced out, with the GMVN Tourist Rest House and the Forest Bungalow being close together. The small bazaar here offers basic necessities and good sumptuous food. Dhanolti is ideal for those who love be among nature, take a good long walk and read a book under the trees or just gaze at the peaks and valleys for hours.
Hurry up, or the snow will melt. Happy snow-balling!

Him Ahuja is an avid traveler and runs a travel blog called allhimalaya.com

Zen and the Art of Valentine Maintenance.

2010-02-12T12:52:00.000+05:30

Mehak and I have been married 10 years, and 10 years are long enough to understand a person, or so we think. As February approaches, our DNAs start to work in different ways. She starts to drop subtle hints about the approaching event and I develop a huge resistance to subtlety. I get the shivers just thinking of the amount of pink and red that would exchange hands on one single day. The reason lies in a very simple ratio… Of boys and girls in our class at St. Jospeh’s a few decades ago. You see, ours was originally a boy’s school that happened to go co-ed…and it of course takes years before the balance is met. So in a class of 50, we had about 6-8 girls. Get the point?

The girls of course got more than their share of attention; and cards, and chocolates and flowers. The unwritten rule amongst boys was, give a ‘Be my Valentine’ type of card (and the usual accessories) to all the girls in your class and wait. If the card comes back, try next year. If it doesn’t (haven’t seen that happening), feel lucky. There were of course boys like me who couldn’t even muster the courage for this high a risk. You see; Baljit (now in the Indian Air Force) and Amit (now a professor of electrical engineering at Minnesota University) and I, were sure that the entry of a girl in any of our lives will be the end of our bonding… or so we said.

The real reason was evident in the mirror. Amit and I wore thick glasses and the worst kind of frames, had more pimples that any girl can handle, and Baljit; was 4 feet 3 (most girls were taller than him), and went to the ‘gurudwara’ everyday to pray for a few more inches. We had the worst cycles one could buy (the ones that ‘doodh wallas’ use till today), when the world had moved to BSA-SLRs. Net, net as students of probability theory, we concluded that our chances of even sitting close to one of these girls (forget valentine cards) was close to zero. So we simply quit trying and bonded with men.

When Mehak and I met in the US, it took me 2 weeks to propose marriage to her. We married soon after that. She often asks me why I was in such a rush to propose and what I saw in her. She thinks I fell in love at first sight… truth be told, I just proposed to every girl I met after school. You see we had long standing ratios to beat, and I still wear thick glasses.

Happy Valentines.

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

Shooting from the hip

2010-02-08T18:52:00.000+05:30

photo: bhumesh bharti

Still wondering!!

2010-02-08T18:50:00.001+05:30

Driving around town, I have been noticing these hoardings which are all over the place. These are not your regular hoardings talking about various products on sale, or about which institute has more toppers, or which new newspaper is being launched, but these are hoardings talking about PEOPLE! These hoardings have faces of like 100 people on it (ok, this might be an exaggeration, but trust me, they are more than one can count on his fingers, especially with the steering wheel in one hand!). And then I start to wonder yet again. Why do people put these hoardings? Is this to feel like a celebrity? Is it to flatter someone? Is it to get some popularity? Is it to say that “don’t mess with me, my face is on hoardings around town”? Is it for an ego boost? How many of us actually see all these faces? If you wonderful people have the answers, please do let us know, and like we say, “keep wondering”!

Rishi Saluja is the Associate Editor for Dehradun Classified. He is a theatre enthusiast and can be reached on saluja@dehradunclassified.com

WHEN I LOST THE ROAD-MAP!

2010-02-08T18:33:00.000+05:30

When we had our first child, it was an extreme pleasure to be a parent. He was quiet, non-demanding, sweet, extremely intelligent, non-invasive, in all, a dream baby! He even started to read when he was just over a year! It was fantastic! What more could we have asked for? We thought ourselves so lucky and beyond that, we had a sense of pride that we were bringing up such a well-behaved child. Friends and relatives would compliment us on being such good parents(some were even envious!) Apart from a few health-related and feeding-time hitches now and then, it was all good. And we were convinced that we were doing a wonderful job. And then, we decided to have another baby, fully confident that we would be brilliant this time around as well!

And lo, and behold, when our first son was 3 years and 8 months old, our second child was born. And life as we knew it, completely changed! We felt that we had been tossed onto a roller-coaster and someone had forgotten to turn it off! We were the same people, the same house, the same gene-pool, the same rules, even the same food, but this child was completely different! He was an angel to look at, but there the angelic facade ended! He had a mind of his own, very strong personality, and was a master of tantrums to get his own way! To say the least, it was a shock! We were completely baffled and tried everything we knew to deal with this. But he just would not back down.

It has been a long journey from then to now, when he is 5 years old. I've learned the most in these five years, and my growth has been very fast-paced and comprehensive. In other words, I've had to grow up in a lot of ways, face my faults and shortcomings, and I've had to learn to rise above those to be the best mother I can be to him, as I have been to my older son. The demands have changed, the parameters are different, the policies have had to be revised, the actions and reactions been scrutinized and adjusted. In short, we have learned a very valuable lesson (albeit the hard way!), that our children are born to us for a purpose. They are what they are, because we need to be what we are meant to be. We need to fulfill our purpose in life, and who does it better than our children, who make us look at ourselves in a new way, they teach us to re-examine and analyze ourselves. We can be anything in the eyes of the world, but we are made to face our deepest, darkest fears and shortcomings when we become parents. We are faced with serious responsibility and decision-making, and our patience, tolerance, kindness and compassion is severely tested!

Our children teach us things that, maybe, our parents did not, or we did not want to learn as children. They are here, because a few of the greatest lessons we will ever learn will be through them. We participate in the miracle of their birth, and from then on, our hearts become their school-rooms. We become their teachers and guardians. We are challenged everyday in every which way, and we learn to rise above ourselves and make every moment worthwhile. And even while teaching them how to be responsible adults, we learn the same things along the way.
I once read somewhere, “There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.” Oh! What a blessing my son has been! I know I'm that much better for I have him in my life. All my three children are so different, yet there is so much each one continues to teach me. Let us appreciate the miracle of our children, and feel grateful for all the learning and growth they have brought into our lives.

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

The God of Junga

2010-02-08T18:26:00.002+05:30

35 kids, 2 instructors and a whole lot of chaos; is the closest definition of how I spent this week. Junga is near Shimla and I was part of an outdoor training camp for school kids. My role as an outdoor training instructor is to get kids to do activities that only outdoors permit. Kids build their own bridges over small rivers, create rafts that actually float, walk on fire, play with snakes, gaze at stars and learn Newton’s laws by cycling down the hill.

The kids this time were mostly older. Class 9-12 kinds. This meant that old fogeys like me had to demonstrate a larger amount of stamina (i.e. smoke-less) and do a lot of things that I usually don’t do, run, for example, down a hill.

I came back on Thursday and narrated the last 3 day’s events to my wife. It took me almost all of breakfast and another 2 hours to give her the complete download on the exciting stuff I’d done (this was the first time I’d done the fire walk myself).

Whilst we pride ourselves at the learning these kids have, this time I learnt more from the kids, than they learnt from me. I had the usual winter running nose and sore throat; and the Junga chill made matters worse. I also made sure that the entire camp knew of the huge sacrifice I was making …working at 3 degrees Celsius when I should be with a hot water bottle. The kids love the camp and the community soon starts to behave as a family. Mayank , Ayesha, Ajay and Shruti were the senior-most of the kids and in a way, the leaders of the pack. After listening to my sob stories about the ever running nose, the kids decided to reverse roles and treat me like a kid. So, come day 2 evening, they first got a hot cup of soup, then made sure that I was given my hot water bottle, and along with that left a small card. The card wasn’t the ‘get well soon’ kind. Made out of an A4 size plain paper, it had the names and cartoons of 9 kids in the camp that had running noses and sore throats, with their signatures certifying the actual existence of the situation. On the inside of the card were just the following words…”grow up, you’re not the only one”…

I guess there’s God in Junga somewhere, and I just got my wake-up call. Thanks kids.

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

Let’s begin with the end

2010-02-08T18:25:00.000+05:30

Imagine yourself going to the funeral of a friend that you've known closely. Imagine, in your mind’s eye, the shock with which you received the news, and travelled to the venue. You see some familiar faces, and one asks, 'How much did he leave'? And someone answers, 'Oh, he left it all!!'

You go further, and suddenly realize that you've actually come for your own funeral. Yes, I know I am still fishing on the peripheries of morbidity, but I promise, not for long. I promise! So, I want you to imagine exactly how you would like each one of these people gathered at your funeral to remember you. Your close family and friends, your children, your siblings, elders and the young ones, your distant relatives and acquaintances, your office or work peers, juniors, seniors, may be even your neighbours and people from your larger social circle. What would you like each of these people to have seen in you? Would you like them to believe that you made a difference to their lives?

If you did this visualization seriously, in those moments of insight and self-evaluation, you will have touched the very core of your being. These feelings that you just experienced, are your very own ‘guidance system’. The further you go away from this core, greater is the anguish and aimlessness you feel. Staying close to this core, you experience purposeful and satisfying lives.

Another fantastic benefit of this technique - the creative visualization actually helps us manifest the desired future. As Rhonda Byrne says in “The Secret”, all things are created twice; first, as a desire, as a visual representation in the mind, and then the second time, in its physical reality.

Here is how it works - when you go on a journey, you decide the destination before you start the journey, and not the other way round. Right?

Ajay Mehta is a print designer, an Advanced Pranic Healer and a ‘spiritual’ seeker. He can be reached at ajaxmehta@gmail.com

Shooting from the hip

2010-02-08T18:23:00.000+05:30

photo: bhumesh bharti

A 'touching' message!

2010-02-08T18:20:00.000+05:30

“Love, compassion, and tolerance are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”

These simple words of His Holiness the Dalai Lama hold a world of truth and wisdom for me. More so because every single day of my life as a mother, this is required from me, and often I find myself on the brink of failure. It is so hard to hang on to these finer feelings in the face of tantrums, fighting, whining, diaper changes, sleepless nights, feeding routines, ... I can go on and on. Let me tell you something about myself – well actually, it's everything, because being a parent is my life now! I have three children, aged nine, five and two, (I can see you all just shaking your heads in understanding and sympathy!) Well, I used to feel the same way about myself. But over time,(and lots of reading, workshops and introspection), I have discovered that my children are the greatest source of joy in this world for me, and I want to give myself the opportunity to experience it.

Imagine the confusion a little soul has to experience right from the time of birth! From a warm, safe environment, it is pushed out into a world full of bright lights, strange noises and smells, and sensations of hunger and thirst! From that time onwards to about the age of seven, life is all about adjusting and surviving within the family structure. Their basic needs of food, warmth and security are primary, and if they are met in a loving and kind way, the children feel a sense of belongingness and security. The small baby does not see himself as being separate, but feels the family to be an extension of himself. If we fail to respond to these needs, the world becomes a scary and unpredictable place for our children. They will then tend to see grown-ups, especially parents, as unreliable and not to be trusted!

We want our children to be emotionally strong and independent, but when they cry for prolonged periods, or feel scared in a dark room, or we've been away from them for a long time, our comforting voice and warm embrace can work wonders. They need our hug, our loving touch at such times. Touch is a basic need of all humans, even animals do it naturally. It is form of communication, one that cannot be put into words. As adults, we often want and need to be touched, and couples often complain of neglect in this part of their relationship. Yet, we hold back as parents, afraid to produce a 'softie'. Or sometimes we are just too busy or irritable or simply uncaring. Research has shown that children who are denied physical contact develop slowly at all levels- physical, mental, emotional, even spiritual. This is the reason, many of the ancient and indigenous cultures used the 'kangaroo philosophy'- having their small infants strapped to their mothers' bodies. Touch goes deeper than just a physical sensation. It is a sharing of our energy fields, which brings about a harmony which has profound healing properties. How much stronger it would be coming from a loving parent!

“Breathing in, I know my dear one is in my arms, alive. Breathing out, she is so precious to me.”
- Thich Nhat Hanh's 'Hugging Meditation'.

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

Frank “My Way” Sinatra and Rhea’s new school

2010-02-08T18:18:00.000+05:30

Rhea, my daughter; joined school recently. That in it may be routine; but not our experience. Outside the school, all of us parents may weigh ourselves in the usual social hierarchy…jobs, money, status, car, education, till you find yourselves in the same queue outside the school. The line that puts us all into place…a very humble place. A place where we all look at the school building, then at our children, and then towards the sky, asking for help.

Both my wife and I are non-believers, which puts us in a rather strange position in such circumstances. We have nobody to pray to, and so the results of what we do fall squarely back on us. We applied only to one school in Dehradun (against every advice), avoiding even the ones we ourselves studied in. We stood in front of the gates of the each school when kids walked out, and counted the number of smiling children. The highest scoring school got our kid. Our worry of course was, what if? Lucky she got in, lucky that we didn’t apply elsewhere. And imagine our added joy, when the principal asked Rhea how her first day was, and bang came her convincing reply “nice, very nice”. She was smiling; and we continue to be non-believers.

I grew up on Frank Sinatra and still have a photo of his on my visiting cards, and the following words from his song ; ‘My Way” on my desktop:
“I've lived a life that's full -
I've traveled each and every highway.
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.”
The question is, is there any other way to smiles?

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

Sundays Around Doon - Asan Barrage

2010-02-08T18:16:00.000+05:30

Yippee! Spring is here. Bollywood has a fine collection of songs devoted to spring, Kalidas even wrote an epic poem on it. Okay, ok, but seriously, can’t you feel a change in the air? The fragrance of the flowers, the subtle scent in the wind of an early summer, and the exhilaration in the hearts. It’s the season of love. Though, we’re not going to talk about Love, sorry to disappoint you. This is the season that always gets my feet restless, and eager to go out and explore the world.

The winter is about to go, and summer’s already knocking, that’s perfect excuse for a picnic. And we have some foreign guests to meet too, in fact hundreds of them. Nothing could be better than sharing your Sunday lunch along with them and having a tête-à-tête. Well, to break the suspense, I’m talking about ‘Asan Barrage Bird Sanctuary’.

Located just 43kms from Dehradun on the Doon – Chandigarh/Shimla highway, this scenic water body was formed way back in 1967, when the Asan Barrage was constructed at the confluence of Asan river and Yamuna canal coming from Dakpathar. Though, it was later that the local birders started noticing the winter trans-Himalayan migration pattern of the birds. An initial checklist was made, and today, Asan Barrage is a well known Bird Sanctuary, popular among birders from all over the country. Around 30 migratory species of birds make Asan Barrage their halt during their journey. Locals know it as a popular Sunday picnic spot for water sports.

The lake with a fascinating view of the Shivalik forest range at the horizon makes its first appearance when we climb up the narrow road and come level with it. The short drive along the lake offers a wide view of the wetland. GMVN runs a water sports complex here, and has boats for hire. You can make a stop here and enjoy the paddle-boat ride. Sometimes, the birds allow the boats to come quite close. But it would be best if you take your binoculars along and catch a view of as many as 50 migratory and local species of birds.

Just where the GMVN complex is situated (incidentally, they also have a few log huts on hire for the night, but badly located), the road leaves the lake and goes on to the barrage, and onward to Paonta Sahib. Just before the barrage bridge, there is a small restaurant on the left, which is very popular with those traveling to Paonta Sahib, Chandigarh or Nahan. Run by a father-son duo, it is popular for its famed omelettes and pakoras. It has enough parking space and a large lawn with chairs, where you can enjoy your meal and snacks. But let me tell you my favorite; after the boat-ride to satisfy the children, park at the restaurant, order your choicest snacks, and move on the road adjacent to the restaurant. It has a wooded area on the left, and the lake on the right and offers decent shade with trees on both sides of the road. Bring your rugs along, choose a clean spot and spread them wide. Open your lunch boxes & fill them with snacks from the restaurant and you are in your own private heaven. Beware of the monkeys though, it is their home turf and they are never far away from the tasty food that you have brought. If you are going there soon, don’t forget to taste the delicious ‘Chakotras’, that are sold just opposite the restaurant by local boys.

A boat-ride, a spicy omelette, and a lunch later, dusk is the perfect time to head back home. The lake offers a beautiful sunset view, so don’t miss out on that. See you there!

Him Ahuja is an avid traveler and runs a travel blog called allhimalaya.com

Shooting from the hip

2010-01-23T18:42:00.000+05:30

photo: bhumesh bharti

Wonder-full Doon!

2010-01-23T18:38:00.000+05:30

Ever wondered where do all the old vehicles go? Forget about UMS or UGY registration plates, we hardly see any UP07s. To the best of my knowledge, there is no junkyard in Dehradun, so I really wonder where all these vehicles go?

If anyone has any idea, do get back to us. This in no way, is to make people who drive these vehicles feel dated (cause my dad drives one of these!). On the contrary, I think they should feel privileged for being the special ones.

So how many of you actually “wondered” about this?

From now on keep your eyes open and wonder the un-wondered, trust me it’s great fun! Till we wonder again………

Rishi Saluja

My child - a Genius?!

2010-01-23T18:33:00.000+05:30

This week, I just want to carry on from where I left off. Have you ever noticed how some children's eyes light up when they listen to a good song and start singing along, while others just start swaying to the beat of the music? How some love to spend hours on drawing and painting little 'cards' for you and their friends, while others love to make little boats and other shapes with paper or clay? How some of them love to tap to the beat of some inaudible music with spoons or pencils, while others get deeply engrossed in playing 'air guitar'? How some children love to play outdoors, while some love to stay indoors and read or write poetry and stories filled with flights of fantasy?

Why do all children have something that they love to do more than others, and they can spend hours doing that? What is that gives them that concentration, focus, and above all, that great joy spreading across their faces and a great peace surrounds them, even as their little fingers and minds are working at a furious pace? They are just 'expressing' themselves. They have discovered their 'expression' in any of these activities and this brings them joy and fulfillment.

We smilingly watch them do this and indulgently 'allow' them to carry on for some time. We often make reference to our children's active imaginations; we accept that they are creative; or note that they seem to be naturally curious and playful. But soon enough, our concerns for their future and their careers kick in, and we become anxious. We immediately transmit this stress to them by scolding them for 'wasting' precious time, time which could have been more constructively used in 'studying'. Our concentration on academics per se is so dominant that we frown upon and discourage any interest displayed by our children outside this. Many children are talented in so many fields but most parents and teachers consider those talents 'unproductive' as career goals. Children gradually lose interest in those activities and their talents get buried along with their self-worth and potential. Children are rebuked for not bringing 'good' marks in academics, while good performance in non-academic or creative acts is written off as wasteful 'play'.

But to make children high performers, we, as parents and teachers, have to realize that by igniting the child's artistic brain, we inevitably stimulate the academic brain to perform better. Until this realization takes root in our minds, schooling will continue to be a tedious exercise for all concerned. Our focus should be on the child's capacity for constructive growth and creative potential at the highest levels of functioning. Focus should be on providing opportunities for our children to explore.

Creative activities can positively affect a child's reasoning, thinking skills and spatial intelligence. They can affect test scores, raise energy levels, improve reading and writing skills, aid in learning and retaining new material, promote coordinated body movement, and take creativity to a higher level. We need to introduce activities that appeal to their feelings and to their 'right brain'– activities that the child responds to naturally. Activities like music, rhymes, song, dance, drawing, painting, clay modelling, role-play, dramatics, concerts, catch-ball, yoga, aerobics, hopping, skipping, jogging, juggling, and numerous other fun-filled activities, these stimulate the complex structure of the brain, encouraging both brain 'centres' to work in consonance with each other. This helps them to experience a greater integrated balance throughout their lives.

By having the freedom to 'express' themselves through any creative pursuit, our children can lead richer, more vibrant and fulfilling lives. Some of them can even turn them into wonderful career opportunities. It is our duty and responsibility to let our children explore and develop their potential in whatever they 'love' to do. We can help them in this way to have more 'complete' and integrated personalities. If their desires and dreams are not thwarted, but encouraged, they will be confident, well-balanced individuals, and whatever they do in lives after that, they are sure to leave their impressions for posterity. This is my dream. Is it yours too?

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

I come with clean feet.

2010-01-23T18:31:00.000+05:30

Once upon a time, there was a Zen Master addressing his disciples. In a perfectly manicured garden, with a setting as serene as serene can be, there was one novice who was carrying on a verbal tirade about all the wonderful things he knew, about all the books he had studied and all the wonderful techniques he had mastered. Suddenly, out of the blue, the Master - an epitome of non-violence, turned around and slapped the novice, smack across the face and said, ‘don’t run around in my mind with your dirty feet’.

Trust me, I have washed my feet clean, and I do not have any intentions of running around in your head.

In this very first piece, I’d like to talk about death; not in the intellectual or philosophical manner but as a practical tool that can be used to improve our lives. Let me explain.

I was at a meditation retreat, and the teacher in his first session decided to give us the ‘shock and awe’ treatment. What would you do if I tell you that you are not going to live for more than a few months? A few hundred rants of disbelief and another few hundred sighs of despair later, we all sat down to make our ‘lists’. Mine, probably the longest, read something like this: spend time with children, tell wife I love her, take mom for a holiday, tie-up the financial statements and IT returns, go bungy jumping, spend time with children, tell wife I love her, look for and say sorry to Jasmeet for kicking him so hard in Class VII, learn singing, pray, learn dancing, spend more time with children....

So when everyone was done reading out their list in front of the entire gathering, the teacher asks, ‘So why aren’t you doing all these things now.....?’

Reminder of ‘ultimate reality’ is a wonderful tool to keep us on track. Every morning when you plan out your day, you ask yourself, would I do this if I were to live for only a few months. And if your answer is ‘no’ for a few consecutive days, you know you need to change something.

Ajay Mehta is a print designer, an Advanced Pranic Healer and a ‘spiritual’ seeker. He can be reached at ajaxmehta@gmail.com

Aall is well, or is it?

2010-01-23T18:29:00.000+05:30

Aamir Khan knows what we are starved for. He’s an entertainer and a great marketer; and the rest of us? The 3 Idiots?

I loved the film, and laughed and cried as the director wanted. I also realized that the message of ‘follow you heart’ is universal and can be sold in any great package, including a film. I did however find the message too simplistic.

You want to become a wildlife photographer? Great, write a letter to Mr. Ace Photographer in Germany; with samples of your work, get accepted as his assistant, and you’re made.

Wish it was this simple.

Following your dream or passion and making a profession out of it, does not mean that it is easy. Success in any profession, including your loved one, requires sweat and blood - S&B, let’s call it for now. It does however become an enjoyable way of spending this S&B.

Recently, while making a film for the farewell party of a school I asked the kids what they liked. I got the usual answers. I sing, dance, trek, like photography, a pro at debugging ‘windows’…even a biking enthusiast. The answers however changed as soon as I asked what they are going to study after school. 5 out of 7 wanted to do an MBA eventually. “Why not what you like?” I asked. Bang! came the question back “do you think we can actually do that?”.

Well … S&B guys, and you find success. Are you going to enjoy the S&B is the ultimate question. Best of luck and farewell till next week.

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

Shooting from the hip

2010-01-15T17:33:00.000+05:30

photo: bhumesh bharti

Creativity or Reproduction?

2010-01-15T17:29:00.002+05:30

Wednesday is Art. My favourite day. Or used to be until the cornflowers.
Ten cornflowers in a jar. I loved them. Burning blue. Impatient to be begin
I scoured my paintbox. Cobalt. Azure and Prussian Blue. I mixed them well,
and laid them on my page, and saw the flowers bloom beneath my brush.
I showed my friend. “Dad grows these in our garden. Mum's special flower,
The colour of her eyes.” The teacher pounced. “Time to talk? No need to work?
Perhaps you'll show us what you've done?” She held my painting to the class,
While I sat proudly by. But then, “Now children look at this,” she said,
“And learn how NOT to paint. Jenny calls them flowers. But what do we see?
Just ten green sticks in a crooked jar, and ten awful blobs of horrible blue.”
Wednesday is always Art. It was my favourite day,
But now, if I can manage it, I try to stay away.

Going through my son's book, as I read these lines by Jenny Craig, I was transported back to a time when I was a young student, about five or six, small in size but big on dreams. I imagined myself being a famous painter, an accomplished pianist, a brilliant ballet/kathak dancer, a world-class singer, a legendary astronaut, ....! The list was endless. One of the things I fancied the most was drawing and painting. I would look forward to my art class. I would arrange my notebook and colours neatly in my bag, and always left it there, just in case my teacher decided to have an impromptu art lesson! But soon, I lost interest in the class and I slowly, unconsciously, let go of my dream to be a famous artist. >>keep reading...

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

Sundays Around Doon - George Everest Estate

2010-01-15T17:25:00.006+05:30

Hi, and welcome back! Brrrrrrrrr.... it was 3eeeee degreees just a few days back, with a dense fog to welcome us in the New Year. We Doonites don't get to see both of them so often. But let's say ’Hi’ to the sunny sunshine that's been around now despite the fog.

There's no perfect place to enjoy that winter sunshine than to go up a hill, find a nice spot with a view and settle down with your basket of food (Just don't litter please- remember, we have to come back next time.)

I'm sure each of us have their own favorite nooks and hills to enjoy the sunshine ( It would be great if you share your favorites with me; and I can share them with everyone). My favorite hill includes not just a sunny spot on a soft bed of grass, it also includes for free, a piece of history, and a legend. Its the 'Sir George Everest Estate' near Mussoorie. >>keep reading....

Him Ahuja is an avid traveler and runs a travel blog called allhimalaya.com