GOOD STUDY HABITS

A very important part of good parenting is good teaching. Our role as parents also incorporates the significant role of being teachers to our children. We cannot deny or ignore this primary responsibility, for it comes with the package. If we neglect it, our children face the danger of turning out to be irresponsible, disinterested, immature and unsuccessful. That is a terrifying thought and we need to make the right efforts NOW to avoid that situation. It is crucial that in order to make our children good learners, as well as achievers in their student life, they need to to be taught to be self-motivated and self-suffiecient. They need to develop independent study and learning skills and good personal habits. Some of the key study habits that our children need to acquire are accurate observation, careful planning, concentration on task at hand, systematic methods, perseverance in difficult tasks, an optimistic outlook, promptness in completing each assignment, regular revision of work done and above all, being eager and excited about the learning process.

Such a long list may put you off, thinking how is it possible for our children when they don't even sit down to study on their own! It may be difficult, but not impossible. Each of these habits is interlinked with the other, you start with one and they keep falling into place. All you need is to get started with one, and build on it gradually. I would suggest starting with the planning – scheduling the time and duration of studying, as well as playtime and recreation. It always helps to have a clear idea of what to do next, it keeps us away from procrastination. All this may take some time and effort as 'old habits die hard', and for good habits to become a way of life.

All that I have mentioned in the list becomes very easy if we start with our children very early, even as early as playschool! Yes, it's true, we can easily get our children accustomed to a schedule even when they are as young as that. I don't mean burdening them with spelling or math or writing. I just mean setting a time aside to sit together and sing rhymes or talk about colours, tell stories or simply talk about what they did in school and ask them to repeat it. Repitition amounts to revision, and isn't that what they do when they grow up, go over everything that they read or wrote in class? This gets them into the habit of homework – doing a learning or study related activity at a particular time everyday. So when they grow older, they are already familiar with this concept and can easily fall into the more formal homework and revision routine. What I did with my children was that each day I would just tell him/her that we are going to eat now, then take a short nap, and then it will be time to 'study' whatever new things we have learned today. How this helps is that they have it on their minds beforehand, so it becomes a 'plan'. Secondly, by making it sound very 'important', we can get them excited about it, they look forward to 'studying', for they haven't yet started to look upon it as a 'chore'! Believe me, it really works, and it only needs consistency from us. If we just sit with them even for half an hour at the same time every day, they easily fall into the routine. I now have no problems with my two school-going sons, Grades 1 and 5, for they sit down with their homework or revision on their own, even when I am not around the house sometimes.

What is also important is to stress on the imporatance of revising all work done in class. In school, mostly information and concepts are passed on, so at home, this information has to be assimilated and comprehended. When children revise, they 'process' this infomation into knowledge. This way learning comes a full circle and it becomes more permanent in their memory. Revision or reading the chapters done in class is an intrinsic part of homework. Having been a teacher for so many years, I would often wonder why some children are not able to remember what we did just a few days back in class. But becoming a mother, and trying to instill good study habits in my child, I discovered the answer. I always encouraged my eldest son to read over again all that he had done in class, from the textbook as well as the notebook, and so he always remembered everything even after a long time. Then I encouraged my younger son to do the same, and the same worked for him as well. I have now started this process with my two and a half year old daughter. With the younger children, when there is less or no pressure of homework, we can make them read the chapter aloud for us, do a few exercises in their practice notebooks, like write down the new words they've learned, practice a little handwriting every day, do counting – forwards and backwards, reverse, missing, etc. We can do this in a fun way, so that they enjoy it, and they associate learning with fun.

One crucial thing to remember is to appreciate and praise very effort of theirs, point out the few mistakes gently and encourage them to re-do the part with mistakes. Remember to praise them again for their wonderful effort! I have seen it work wonders in my own children. They are happy to be told to study now, and it is not a struggle for me as I know it can be for a lot of parents.

One other thing that really works is allowing the children to choose their study time on their own. For one, it gives them a sense of importance and responsibility, it tells them we trust them to make good decisions, and also makes them take ownership of their own homework. Let them come with ideas, follow them for a couple of days, see what works and what doesn't, for example, some children may feel very drowsy after lunch while others may not, some may be too tired after playtime, while others might be refreshed, etc. Each child has his/her own 'good' time. Help your child to discover this 'optimum' time of the day. Gently guide them into reaching the corrrect decisions. But also tell them that from now on, they are responsible to be back home at that time, and sit down with their homework. Remind them if need be, but make them eventually responsible for settling down on their own. It will take them a few days to settle them into that routine, but they will soon do so.

What has worked for our family is a short nap (never more than 45 mins. to an hour) after lunch-time, then activity-time like going for music, dance or pottery lessons, coming back and playing with their friends, just free play or some sports, (no TV or computer games, please!), then coming home to a nice, warm bath, an early dinner, an hour of homework or reading time, prayer-time, and then into bed by 9.00. If my older son feels he has more studying to do, he is motivated enough to get up an hour earlier in the morning, and finish it on his own. It makes me proud that he has taken ownership and responsibility of his own work. And believe it or not, this is the same schedule that we follow, exams or no exams, and our children mostly find this enough time to prepare or revise. We do not stop their activities or playtime, they may decide to do it on their own, if they feel they have more to do. One thing we also stress on is good eating and sleeping habits, and this really helps them to face the pressures of every day work or exam time. I encourage you to try to follow these guidelines in your lives as well, and results will follow soon. What is needed for you to be present but not pressurizing, forming a similar schedule for yourselves as well. While the children are studying, you could be in the next room reading, so that they learn by example that you value reading and studying as well. If you watch TV, etc. in that time, they feel that they are the ones who are being 'burdened' while you are enjoying yourselves. If we want them to be independent and responsible now, we have to set examples. Let's WALK THE TALK!

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

Yeh Shaher Kiska Hai?

I know it’s politically incorrect, but I really do not relate to our old national Heroes anymore. Gandhi, Nehru, Tilak …I’m sure they were all fine men and Heroes in their own right, but they are too old for me. Look; I understand that they may still be relevant and what they have left behind is of great value to us…but that’s not what helps me live everyday now. Let me explain. You see, if this was the 1940s and India was fighting for independence (or something) , I’m sure a lot of us would get inspired by these people, but not when my mobile ring tone changes every hour to suit my mood. I need Heroes and role models that inspire me now, in 2010, to become better, do more, seek higher…exactly what a role model should do. That too in everyday life.

Let’s look at the remaining possibilities (in terms of available role models) that may inspire the current lot, in which I include everyone from age 3 till the age when one still gets inspired
(choose).

1. Sports stars. Very few.
2. Film stars. Well, a handful and their market ‘role model’ value oscillates with the box office collection of their last films.
3. Politicians and bureaucrats. The less said the better.
4. Businessmen. Here we suddenly have a breather. Narayan Murthy, Rattan Tata, Asim Premji… and the newer lot of entrepreneurs that have upheld India’s pride.
5. Some not so famous but brilliant social workers.

All in all, as a nation of more than a billion people…very few role models.

This then; is a real tragedy for India.

Unless, we start to look around closely and define leadership and role modeling in a slightly different way. Lets for the moment call this ‘quiet leadership’.

When I say ‘quiet leadership’, I don’t necessarily mean lower decibel levels or volume. In fact, in some cases quite the contrary.

Quiet leaders are everywhere. In fact in every home and school. Ask any kid, who they want to be, and who’s the best person in the world and the reply will always be “My Dad” or “My class
teacher” or “Principal”.

The problem with role models is that they get ‘modeled’. People do what they see their role models doing. So if ‘My Dad’ drives on the wrong side of the road, so will I. If ‘My Teacher’ spits, shouts, corrupts, steals, hits, blows…well he is still my role model.

Confucius, the great Chinese philosopher and thinker said …“The ancients, who wished to illustrate illustrious virtue throughout the kingdom, first ordered well their own states. Wishing to order well their states, they first regulated their families. Wishing to regulate their families, they first cultivated their persons.”

Look at Dr. Pandey and his ‘people for a green doon’. Try to illegally cut any tree in Dehradun and he would get there with his group…anytime of the day and night. He is ‘loud’ but ‘quiet’.
Or Yudhistir Puran Singh…all of 23 years, the bloke has started DehraDun talking about environmental concerns within just the last 7 months. Or Mr. Sheel Vohra, who passed away just a few days ago and will always, be remembered by students in DehraDun, especially the Doon School.

I’m not sure if any of us can do too much about the state of the country, but if the math runs right, we’d be happier if we start with our home, mohalla, town…

To all the ‘quiet’ heroes of Dehradun… ‘Guys, Thank You’. This town owes a lot to you, even if we do not know where you are.

P.S. Incidentally the top 10 musicians in DehraDun have been working on a song
called “DehraDun DehraDun” (kind of like our local town Anthem) and intend to make
it into a film called “Yeh Shehar Kiska Hai”. If you’d like a free copy of the ‘DehraDun
Song’ and the film, please feel free to write to ilovedoon@jingles.co.in with your
address and phone. We’ll be happy to include you in our ‘role model’ list.

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

Whose “Ahsaas” is it anyway?

I’m not sure how many girls attend my workshop every week. 20-30 I guess. The numbers keep changing, but they all seem to know exactly what happened when they were missing. Officially; we call it the ‘Ahsaas’ club.

Un-officially? Well…Prison-break!

When I first approached Welham Girls School with the idea of starting a group that writes, sings, paints, composes, shoots, edits…I don’t think any of us knew what we wanted. Mrs. Brar, the principal; however, was patient and heard me out. She was curt when she said “Vineet, all this is a bit confusing…what do you want to do again?” “Well, start a group, and work with young people…” is all I could muster. “And what do the girls learn at the end?” she went further with her drill. “Well, they will learn what they want to…I can only facilitate the learning” I replied sounding philosophical.

She finally agreed to let me run this workshop on one condition. “Vineet, every month, I need to see a film or a presentation, with everything you claim goes into making one. Do you think that’s possible?” I knew there was no way I can finish a script, music, shooting, editing of a film, in the few hours I get with the girls every week…but the question demanded a show of confidence and that’s what it got. “Of course madam” said I…knowing I can always bargain for more time when this starts. “OK then. You start this Monday, and I want the first film to be ready by 21st Oct, so we can feature that on our founder’s day.”

“But that’s only a month” I blurted. “Yes, exactly what you asked for…isn’t it?” she replied.
I guess we know when we have promised; more than we should. I looked towards the sky and knew my non-believing attitude has started to play on my ‘kismet’.

The club started anyway, on the following Monday with Mrs. Brar introducing me to the girls; and the two teachers who will assist and support the workshops. I was once in school myself; you know… and knew immediately what the look in the girls’ eyes meant. It meant I’m going to be rogered.

Our first few meetings moved the project in one direction…backwards. I gave the girls many ideas around what we could write a story about. They heard all of the ideas politely. Even pretended to like some of them, and then; like they had telepathic communication amongst themselves, collectively gave all my ideas a remote resting place usually referred to as the ‘bin’ in many cultures.

I have always wanted to teach in a school. The opportunity came my way in terms of this assignment; and instead of being thankful, I was already thinking of resigning. This, within the second week of my new assignment? How much worse can it get?

I reached school with my mind made up and looking apologetic. Mrs. Brar wasn’t in her room and so I waited. All I had to say was “Madam, I had no idea that teaching in a school is this tough, and because I don’t think I can meet my commitment of delivering a film in a month, I’d rather leave now.” I had rehearsed the delivery a few times in my head, and was looking for politer words when I heard a rather excited voice.

“Sir, I think we know what the story should be about…it has to be about us, our lives, our families, our struggles, our dreams. When do we start the class? You’re late! 13 minutes! We’re all waiting. Why are you sitting here?” Astha shook me out of my guilt induced sleep outside the principal’s office. “AAA…well…you see, I was…?” I muttered and followed her to the class.

The world had suddenly changed. Exactly the way if happens when we have a direction. Over the next few classes, we not just got our many characters right; but wrote a lengthy script, created music and songs to go with the film, started shooting, got the editing software installed, recorded the song…all this with me watching from a distance and just ‘facilitating’. The film that I thought would be impossible to make in the given time, has taken shape in less, with much more in it than originally planned.

We call this club …“Ahsaas”. Meaning, to experince and understand.

The girls; by the way, are not the only ones learning, understanding and experiencing.

Quoting from the film : "There is a part of me that wants to write, a part that wants to theorize, a part that wants to sculpt, a part that wants to teach... to force myself into a single role, to decide to be just one thing in life, would kill off large parts of me." …Is how our film Ends.

The “Ahsaas” however, continues. For the girls and me alike.

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

'TRUE' OR 'FORCED ACHIEVERS?

Being an achiever in academics is every parent's and child's goal these days. As I mentioned last time, this has created a sort of 'frenzy' or 'mania' among them, especially so when exam-time is at hand. But instead of inculcating the right study skills in their children right from the beginning, parents try to 'manage' and 'control' their children's studies and academic achievements. Children, thus, never feel that the responsibility is theirs, hence, they are never really able to enjoy the rewards of their accomplishments. The educational and school environment today are putting a lot of pressure on the children, to succeed, to achieve, to stay on top, be multi-tasking, disciplined, punctual, competitive, in short, it's all about winning, to be the 'best'! Some schools are known to even boast of the fact that their children study the curriculum a year ahead of their ages, so that they are always ahead of the others' of their age, as well as have that advantage of being a 'winner'! But do our children really understand the meaning or need of all these expectations? Are they motivated enough (if at all!) to be able to deliver on all these fronts?

I don't think so. In fact, that is the reason our children have lost interest in studying, being achievers, striving for excellence, setting goals, or even just plain good performance. Can you blame them? They are now being used as trophies that parents proudly hold up to all and sundry, their marks in their exams being their one only parameter of excellence! Children's marks have become the 'status symbol' of today's parents (being right up there with palatial houses, swank cars, diamonds, foreign trips, etc.)! But the sad part is that the children are being 'pushed' into this kind of competitive environment. They are not really provided with the necessary study skills to achieve all this, so they have to be controlled and managed all the time through endless after-school tuition classes, with no time for play, recreation or just plain old 'doing nothing'. The little free time they get, they just spend watching TV or playing computer games, mostly senseless activities, which do not provide their brains with any refreshment or rejuvenation. It becomes worse when exams are approaching, for then they are completely expected to immerse themselves in their books, only taking out time for eating or sleeping (I hope!). Even the parents, especially the mothers, put their lives completely on hold, I've seen to the extent of no phone-calls, meeting people, having guests over, cooking, etc.! Believe me, this is not an exaggeration.

This is so because children are either not trusted enough to be able to achieve good results on their own, or they have not been encouraged to develop the correct self-study habits, which will last them a lifetime, in whatever they choose to do. The parents feel that without their constant prodding and urging, the children will not be able to manage on their own. This may be true also, because these children do not really know how to. But it is not their fault. There are a few things we, as parents, can do which will help them to become responsible for their own studies and achievements, take control of their own schedules, and thus become independent.

Our aim is to instill in them a sense of purpose. This is because most children fail to understand the purpose of schooling and education, so they just try to pass the time between school and home, somehow willing it to end as soon and painlessly as possible! If they understand that the aim of study is character-building, and the goal is to be result-oriented, they will find a purpose in all these aimless activities that they are 'made' to do. Teachers, books and surroundings help, but in the final analysis, it is all up to the student. Children are capable of learning despite bad teachers, lack of books, difficult surroundings, etc. We do hear these stories often enoughof people who have achieved this. What sets these achievers apart from very other student is their sense of purpose. Students have to learn that they can only learn and perform well if they apply themselves daily. They have to be trained to take responsibility of their time and manage it well. Our job is not to sit with them and make them memorize the answers, our job is to inculcate in them the correct study, time management and personal habits. They will then achieve all this on their own and with flying colours.

First and foremost, we have to 'take the pressure off' created by our expectations of marks. Studying offers challenges in many ways. Marks may not always be a true indication of their progress in learning. It is very imporatnt that we stress on an overall, integrated development. Children enjoy challenges, but our unreasonable pressures drive them away for fear of failure and lack of enjoyment. Secondly, we have to stop comparing them to their classmates or their achievements. This completely demoralizes them and tells them that we have no value for them apart from their achievements and whether or not they are good enough. Instead, we can encourage them to set higher yet realistic personal goals and teach them the ways in which to achieve them. Help them to understand the difference between mediocrity and excellence, but also letting them know that success and failure are realtive, they can only be correnctly measured by the efforts and not only by the results. A very important thing is not to 'spoon-feed' the children, but to provide a supportive environment, conducive for self-study. I believe motivation firstly comes from principled parents, because success always has a moral and ethical side to it. To succeed, the child must want to do it and do it well. That is motivation. From the time they are toddlers, we will have to continually inspire, excite and encourage them to perform to the best of their abilities. Motivation and goal-setting are thus essential ingredients for a 'winning' child.

To reinforce their perfomance and behaviour, we have to help them to have good and healthy mental and emotional patterns. We can do this by planting words of encouragement, appreciation, praise and positive persuasion in them. These words will then blossom inside them and manifest through positive actions. They can be encouraged to read motivational texts and parts of the holy scriptures regularly, especially before they sleep, for the last thing that goes into them at bedtime will be the first thing on their minds in the morning. They can be taught how to effectively channelize their minds to positive thinking. Tell them they are loved, appreciated and trusted. They will succeed! They are winners! Filling them with purposeful words of conviction and belief in their abilities is guaranteed to bring results. For what we believe, we achieve. For your children to become 'true' and not 'forced' achievers, you will have to help them to inculcate good personal and healthy habits. These include right food, right sleep, right thought, right visual and audio intake, right actions, perseverance, planning, optimism, promptness, regularity, etc.

I would like to elaborate on all these in the next issue, the actual physical side of study, what it means and what it takes to teach and achieve all of the above. It will just need patience and consistency from us, but our children will eventually be true achievers and will excel in whatever they do. According to Aristotle, “Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.”

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

The ‘Royal’ trip

By the way writing this column every week is no miniature task. It isn’t about writing per se, it’s about finding what to write about first that daunts me. Like this time. You see, it isn’t like I’ve been writing forever…only after we moved to DehraDun. Also; it’s tough to type while driving a car. I’m in Jaipur as I write, and for the last 3 days or so have been (literally) on the road. Doon to Delhi, then onwards to Jaipur…and no, I’m not on vacation, actually quite the contrary. Vacations are different.

After experiencing Dehradun’s weather and people, every other place looks and feels second grade. In fact one doesn’t need to go too far…just cross Biharigarh; and you’ll know what I mean.
OK, so message one is: I hate leaving DehraDun. The question that follows of course is why am I not in Doon then? And the answer is, because; I’m married.

Yes, it has a lot to do with my marriage. The ‘Mrs.’ traces her so called ‘royal’ ancestry to a place called “Jothwara” a little ahead of Jaipur. I too, don’t at all mind, living with erstwhile ‘royals’, as
long as they do not insist that I accompany them on tours of old havelis, rotten ‘gullies’ , relatives that have nothing in common with us , and places that sound completely alien to me. But no Sir,
this royal specimen would not listen, like every other wife in the world. She believes that tours like these will make ‘stuck’ humans like me appreciate India and its culture, as also make us humble. She clearly has no idea; how ‘stuck’ we are.

Anyway, I have decided to use this time to further my study of ‘the art of patience’.

Every relative of Mehak’s we meet, expects that I would bend completely down and touch their feet. Feet! Feet? This; when I have a bad back and a family that believes in pretending to bend
down whilst saying ‘pari-pena ji’? She just doesn’t understand that it doesn’t come naturally to me. Then (and this one completely blows me off) I do not comprehend why every ‘haveli’ has two sitting rooms. His and her’s. Can you imagine this in 2010? So Mehak can walk through every room in the house because she is ‘the girl of the house’ and I am restricted to the ‘gents’ areas because I’m the ‘outsider damaad’. As if I can see anything through the long ‘ghooghats’ that every woman seems to love. So much for development in Rajasthan.

The food, I must say, kind of; compensates for everything else. So, I keep shut and follow the royal orders. The orders are to follow her into shops, gullies, mohallas, and other dangerous areas that (I’m sure) even locals would not venture into. This is where she finds people who make ‘hand block prints’ and jewelry, and (imagine) chappals, and sarees …who knows what else. How she knows where to go is beyond me. My job is watch as she buys loads of this stuff and be the good husband and pay. That’s it.

I’m not sure why I agreed to come to Jaipur with Mehak and if I’ll ever come back. I do however think that when Mehak starts her Rajasthani store in DehraDun, she should give me 5% of the
profits just for being the ‘good, silent, adjusted, husband’ and remember that this is compensation for taking my ‘royal a@#’.

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com

FEVER? FRENZY? MANIA?!

Phew!!! They're finally over! Finally, our town (alongwith half our country!) can breathe a sigh of relief. Life can go on as usual now. We can step out of our houses now and then, and guests are once more welcome now! The Tvs can be on all day again, and children can again talk and play with their friends! What am I talking about? The half-yearly exams, of course! The biggest event this time of the year in our side of the country! And we're only just warming up for the BIG ones in March, the FINALS! Once again life will come to a standstill, parents will lose their appetites and their precious sleep, and exams will haunt us in our nightmares! In our country, our children's exams are bigger than natural disasters, terrorist attacks, budget statements, elections, dowry deaths, murder trials, satellite-launches, everything! For exams, not only do parents put their lives on hold, but make their children's lives miserable! Scoring the highest marks in all subjects becomes the only thing worth achieving, everything else becomes worthless or secondary. The tension in the air is palpable, the stress is visible, and even children as young as 4-5 years old are made to study for as long as five hours or more! What is going on?!

The marks they score in exams are the parameter by which the children's achievements are judged. They are not 'good enough' if they score anything less than 95% marks! The expectations from children are so high, they have become ludicrous! And this is when the children are not even preparing for their exams on their own. Their parents, especially the mothers, sit with them, go through each chapter with them, make them memorize the answers, word-meanings, diagrams, etc., painstakingly making sure that the child knows everything ever written in his/her notebooks during that year “by heart”, so that he/she is capable of reproducing every word on the sheets of exam-paper word-for-word! Amazing effort and hard work on your part! It would all be good though, if all this was not making the child incapable, under-confident and irresponsible! What?! How? It's true though, because during this whole process, year after year, the children are not studying to achieve their personal or academic goals, they are studying to achieve yours! That's because they have no goals of their own, only your expectations and goals to live up to (you try hard to coonvince them are 'good' for them!) Little wonder then, when children grow up, they are completely aimless and irresponsible, and then we blame them or the educational system/government/society as the reason for our children's lack of goals, aims, awareness, responsibility, efforts, decision-making, etc.

But it is us who make our children responsible or useless. When we take control of our children's homework or studies, we take away their responsibility for doing it. We also take away their right to the rewards, personal or otherwise, for its accomplishment. It's their work, let them do it. True, they will often still need your help, but you must help them without doing the work for them. How? Have faith in them that they can do it, then prove it. If you really want to be helpful, help your children learn how to help themselves. Their self-reliance is the key to confidence and what they need really to do their own work and earn their own rewards. To do a good job, it is the actual doing of the task, relying on their own efforts, going through the experience, witnessing the results, assigning goals and reaching them, that will make them believe in their own ability. When a responsibility is assigned to a child, let the task be his or hers to do. That's how children realize whether or not they can do their work on their own, or if they are facing a problem in understanding the concepts. Learning to ask for help is also a great life-lesson that they will learn from this process. But before the children can learn to ask for help, they must first learn to discover, if in fact, they need help. If we just tell them before they even ask for it, it does a lot for our self-confidence, but it certainly doesn't do much for theirs!

If we just jump in and try to make all the decisions, it just releases the children from their the responsibility of determining their own best time, or to plan ahead far enough, or to even know when to ask for help. They know that we will remind them, nag them if need be, because we have taken control! We get so concerned with whether or not they are getting their homework or preparation for exams done, that we lose sight of the fact that it is theirs to do. Some parents even practically end up doing it for their children! We will discuss the dangers attached to this in the next issue. Till then, this is what I'll quote from an ancient Chinese Proverb:

I hear, and I forget.

I see, and I remember.

I do, and I understand.

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'

Advice from Shehshahi Ashram

Shenshahi ashram and ‘Hathi Bhai’s chai shop’ is my usual haunt when I need thinking space. I’ve written many a song or an article just sitting there sipping endless cups of tea. There’s something about his tea that activates one’s grey cells. I think it has to do with the extra energy one gets because of the extra sugar he puts in each cup. I strongly recommend that you specify “no sugar” to him; if you do not want his ‘sherbet’.

Before I moved to Dehradun last year, I did HR management. A lot of it in industries that hired and developed young people…just out of college kinds. I can’t say exactly, but over 16-17 years I may have met, interviewed and hired thousands of people…young people. I hence; naturally, start to judge people on their success ability as soon as I come across them. Just second nature; I guess.

Sitting at Shenshahi ashram gives one an opportunity to closely observe the current lot in DehraDun. They seem to be as regular there as me. I just can’t seem to fathom what they are doing, but they are there. They also seem to be there mostly on working college days.

Well, if all these kids were from DAV or another such college, I may understand that they don’t really need to go to college, but if you claim to be doing engineering or management at a place where your parents paid 5 lacks for the course…that definitely makes me think. You see; and please don’t get me wrong, but most of these courses require more work than a college would put into you. That means that a half decent engineering or management college will first put you through the 8 hours of structured classes, and then you should be putting another 8 of your own. This may (may I said) give you enough understanding over the duration of the course to be able to find a decent placement later.

And let me define “decent”, in decent placement; as used in my previous sentence. If you get a job after doing an MBA, which you could have got without doing it…, it is both a waste of your time and the family’s money. If you intend to sell insurance or join a call center after becoming an engineer, why ask Dad to take a loan.

Conversations with some of these kids are an eye opener. “I’ve paid the fee…The college will get me placed…whatever happens” seems to be the general view. Well let me help with some honest opinions.

One. None of the private colleges really cares about your life more than you, and please understand that education in its present form is a business. Once the fee is paid and the lectures delivered, maybe a few concerned teachers and staff would sympathize with your situation, but nobody is going to cry if you do not make it.

Two. The world out there (read corporate), is smart enough to understand who to choose and they have ways to do that. If you have spent time at Shenshahi getting drunk in the day confusing it for a study of ‘outdoor tourism’ …well, somebody will know.

Three. You can’t change your college, teachers, the curriculum, the world out there, me writing this article and sounding preachy. What you can definitely do; is to take a close look at yourself and decide how much would you pay yourself after the 3-4 years and some lacks spent. I’d say very little.

Here’s what I suggest to anybody who’s ready to listen.

Get a reality check.

If you are at the top of the class and have a few offers in hand…wow, let’s do ‘cheers’ to that and pour me some more. If however there is a chance that the ‘placement season’ at college may not be all that ‘sunny’ for you…Dude, get a life. The life that you deserve as a young person.

And maybe in a few years when you visit Shensahi again, you and I can have ‘Hathi Bhai’s special sweet chai’, and you can pay the bill. I promise, you’ll be able to afford that and much more.

Vineet Panchhi owns and runs Audio Wagon, his lifelong passion and now a music company. He blogs at Unplanned Journeys , and can be reached at: vineet.panchhi@audiowagon.com