A very important part of good parenting is good teaching. Our role as parents also incorporates the significant role of being teachers to our children. We cannot deny or ignore this primary responsibility, for it comes with the package. If we neglect it, our children face the danger of turning out to be irresponsible, disinterested, immature and unsuccessful. That is a terrifying thought and we need to make the right efforts NOW to avoid that situation. It is crucial that in order to make our children good learners, as well as achievers in their student life, they need to to be taught to be self-motivated and self-suffiecient. They need to develop independent study and learning skills and good personal habits. Some of the key study habits that our children need to acquire are accurate observation, careful planning, concentration on task at hand, systematic methods, perseverance in difficult tasks, an optimistic outlook, promptness in completing each assignment, regular revision of work done and above all, being eager and excited about the learning process.
Such a long list may put you off, thinking how is it possible for our children when they don't even sit down to study on their own! It may be difficult, but not impossible. Each of these habits is interlinked with the other, you start with one and they keep falling into place. All you need is to get started with one, and build on it gradually. I would suggest starting with the planning – scheduling the time and duration of studying, as well as playtime and recreation. It always helps to have a clear idea of what to do next, it keeps us away from procrastination. All this may take some time and effort as 'old habits die hard', and for good habits to become a way of life.
All that I have mentioned in the list becomes very easy if we start with our children very early, even as early as playschool! Yes, it's true, we can easily get our children accustomed to a schedule even when they are as young as that. I don't mean burdening them with spelling or math or writing. I just mean setting a time aside to sit together and sing rhymes or talk about colours, tell stories or simply talk about what they did in school and ask them to repeat it. Repitition amounts to revision, and isn't that what they do when they grow up, go over everything that they read or wrote in class? This gets them into the habit of homework – doing a learning or study related activity at a particular time everyday. So when they grow older, they are already familiar with this concept and can easily fall into the more formal homework and revision routine. What I did with my children was that each day I would just tell him/her that we are going to eat now, then take a short nap, and then it will be time to 'study' whatever new things we have learned today. How this helps is that they have it on their minds beforehand, so it becomes a 'plan'. Secondly, by making it sound very 'important', we can get them excited about it, they look forward to 'studying', for they haven't yet started to look upon it as a 'chore'! Believe me, it really works, and it only needs consistency from us. If we just sit with them even for half an hour at the same time every day, they easily fall into the routine. I now have no problems with my two school-going sons, Grades 1 and 5, for they sit down with their homework or revision on their own, even when I am not around the house sometimes.
What is also important is to stress on the imporatance of revising all work done in class. In school, mostly information and concepts are passed on, so at home, this information has to be assimilated and comprehended. When children revise, they 'process' this infomation into knowledge. This way learning comes a full circle and it becomes more permanent in their memory. Revision or reading the chapters done in class is an intrinsic part of homework. Having been a teacher for so many years, I would often wonder why some children are not able to remember what we did just a few days back in class. But becoming a mother, and trying to instill good study habits in my child, I discovered the answer. I always encouraged my eldest son to read over again all that he had done in class, from the textbook as well as the notebook, and so he always remembered everything even after a long time. Then I encouraged my younger son to do the same, and the same worked for him as well. I have now started this process with my two and a half year old daughter. With the younger children, when there is less or no pressure of homework, we can make them read the chapter aloud for us, do a few exercises in their practice notebooks, like write down the new words they've learned, practice a little handwriting every day, do counting – forwards and backwards, reverse, missing, etc. We can do this in a fun way, so that they enjoy it, and they associate learning with fun.
One crucial thing to remember is to appreciate and praise very effort of theirs, point out the few mistakes gently and encourage them to re-do the part with mistakes. Remember to praise them again for their wonderful effort! I have seen it work wonders in my own children. They are happy to be told to study now, and it is not a struggle for me as I know it can be for a lot of parents.
One other thing that really works is allowing the children to choose their study time on their own. For one, it gives them a sense of importance and responsibility, it tells them we trust them to make good decisions, and also makes them take ownership of their own homework. Let them come with ideas, follow them for a couple of days, see what works and what doesn't, for example, some children may feel very drowsy after lunch while others may not, some may be too tired after playtime, while others might be refreshed, etc. Each child has his/her own 'good' time. Help your child to discover this 'optimum' time of the day. Gently guide them into reaching the corrrect decisions. But also tell them that from now on, they are responsible to be back home at that time, and sit down with their homework. Remind them if need be, but make them eventually responsible for settling down on their own. It will take them a few days to settle them into that routine, but they will soon do so.
What has worked for our family is a short nap (never more than 45 mins. to an hour) after lunch-time, then activity-time like going for music, dance or pottery lessons, coming back and playing with their friends, just free play or some sports, (no TV or computer games, please!), then coming home to a nice, warm bath, an early dinner, an hour of homework or reading time, prayer-time, and then into bed by 9.00. If my older son feels he has more studying to do, he is motivated enough to get up an hour earlier in the morning, and finish it on his own. It makes me proud that he has taken ownership and responsibility of his own work. And believe it or not, this is the same schedule that we follow, exams or no exams, and our children mostly find this enough time to prepare or revise. We do not stop their activities or playtime, they may decide to do it on their own, if they feel they have more to do. One thing we also stress on is good eating and sleeping habits, and this really helps them to face the pressures of every day work or exam time. I encourage you to try to follow these guidelines in your lives as well, and results will follow soon. What is needed for you to be present but not pressurizing, forming a similar schedule for yourselves as well. While the children are studying, you could be in the next room reading, so that they learn by example that you value reading and studying as well. If you watch TV, etc. in that time, they feel that they are the ones who are being 'burdened' while you are enjoying yourselves. If we want them to be independent and responsible now, we have to set examples. Let's WALK THE TALK!
al mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'
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