WHEN I LOST THE ROAD-MAP!

When we had our first child, it was an extreme pleasure to be a parent. He was quiet, non-demanding, sweet, extremely intelligent, non-invasive, in all, a dream baby! He even started to read when he was just over a year! It was fantastic! What more could we have asked for? We thought ourselves so lucky and beyond that, we had a sense of pride that we were bringing up such a well-behaved child. Friends and relatives would compliment us on being such good parents(some were even envious!) Apart from a few health-related and feeding-time hitches now and then, it was all good. And we were convinced that we were doing a wonderful job. And then, we decided to have another baby, fully confident that we would be brilliant this time around as well!

And lo, and behold, when our first son was 3 years and 8 months old, our second child was born. And life as we knew it, completely changed! We felt that we had been tossed onto a roller-coaster and someone had forgotten to turn it off! We were the same people, the same house, the same gene-pool, the same rules, even the same food, but this child was completely different! He was an angel to look at, but there the angelic facade ended! He had a mind of his own, very strong personality, and was a master of tantrums to get his own way! To say the least, it was a shock! We were completely baffled and tried everything we knew to deal with this. But he just would not back down.

It has been a long journey from then to now, when he is 5 years old. I've learned the most in these five years, and my growth has been very fast-paced and comprehensive. In other words, I've had to grow up in a lot of ways, face my faults and shortcomings, and I've had to learn to rise above those to be the best mother I can be to him, as I have been to my older son. The demands have changed, the parameters are different, the policies have had to be revised, the actions and reactions been scrutinized and adjusted. In short, we have learned a very valuable lesson (albeit the hard way!), that our children are born to us for a purpose. They are what they are, because we need to be what we are meant to be. We need to fulfill our purpose in life, and who does it better than our children, who make us look at ourselves in a new way, they teach us to re-examine and analyze ourselves. We can be anything in the eyes of the world, but we are made to face our deepest, darkest fears and shortcomings when we become parents. We are faced with serious responsibility and decision-making, and our patience, tolerance, kindness and compassion is severely tested!

Our children teach us things that, maybe, our parents did not, or we did not want to learn as children. They are here, because a few of the greatest lessons we will ever learn will be through them. We participate in the miracle of their birth, and from then on, our hearts become their school-rooms. We become their teachers and guardians. We are challenged everyday in every which way, and we learn to rise above ourselves and make every moment worthwhile. And even while teaching them how to be responsible adults, we learn the same things along the way.
I once read somewhere, “There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.” Oh! What a blessing my son has been! I know I'm that much better for I have him in my life. All my three children are so different, yet there is so much each one continues to teach me. Let us appreciate the miracle of our children, and feel grateful for all the learning and growth they have brought into our lives.

Juhi Mehta, the quintessential mother-teacher, runs Life Express - an after-school center for children. She can be reached at juhimalini@gmail.com. She also writes 'Reflections of an inner Journey'